They'll send you roses when they think you need to smile.

My wonderfully insane friends came over and we had our own AI season 7 marathon.

It was to celebrate a lot of things.
My single status for 3 years. The end of the depression era. The last year of singledom for a particular someone. Our future birthdays.

Mainly, it was just an excuse to watch pretty boys do their thing and make us melt with their saccharine-coated lines.


"I just want to say that I can feel like he's singing the song to me. The way he looks into the camera...I feel so...touched. Sigh...I'm melting"
"I remember Xanne told her mother when she was talking to her during the repeat of the show and she told her mother to wait because she wanted to watch him seduce her all over again"
-.-'
"I didn't exactly say that!"
"Liar, everytime she's listening to him and her mother wants to say something, she says "Ma, I'm listening to boyfriend sing to me, give me a few minutes". Seriously"
"You know what? Today, my mother was trying to hit the glory notes of this song but it didn't work and she was wondering how in the world did he hit those notes without cracking his voice"
"She don't know meh it's David Cook and he can totally sing the phonebook and still sound like sex?"
"Quote of the year, right there!"
"Haha, I agree with you wholeheartedly!"

I wouldn't have all of you any other way. Te amo para siempre.

*****

Why did I say that true friends stab you from the front, not from the back?

Because it's a fact.

They stab you from the front because they are brave enough to do it in your face. If they stabbed you from the back, they're not exactly what you'd call 'true friends' now, right?

Plus, they stab you because they can.

It doesn't take rocket science to tell you that.

*****

A few more days and the tension and the spark will end.


I just want to take a moment to apologise to my Scouser who had to put up with the copious amount of Magic Rainbow on the radio late last night/early this morning. Blame it on the radio stations, not me. I have no power over such things.

Why-lah Robbie Keane is in your club? Stupid Rafa, I'm going kick you for stealing him away.

Boo Rafa. I no longer want to be a closet Liverpool supporter.

From here, it will only get worse.

You know what?
True friends stab you from the front, not from the back.

*****

My brother just came in and asked me about the friendly match.

The fucking audacity of him to ask me that.

I'M THE GODDAMN LAST PERSON YOU SHOULD ASK!

*breathes deeply*

Seriously. Stop pissing me off and making me sad.

*****

Why was I being so bitter the past two weeks?

01. On Saturday, someone sent me a message saying if I wanted tickets to watch the match and he could organise a meeting with the boys. I so badly wanted to say yes, I almost cried.


02. I don't hate my future sister-in-law. I really don't.
It's just his decision to get married that pisses me off. He just conveniently tells my mother in the car on the way to a wedding which my father and I didn't attend one day that "I'm seeing someone and I would like to get married". Like seriously? If I hadn't known any better, I'd say it's like a shotgun wedding. It would be nice if he actually brought her home to introduce us all to her. I have a hard time adjusting to new situations. I'm awkward, to be honest. My parents at least can deal with changes better. Not that I'm saying I can't, I can. It's just that the process itself is longer than what a normal person would undergo.

I can't talk to her. I barely know her! I know, once she lives here, I'll get used to it, you say. But the thing is, we're on two different polarities. She's quiet, sane and religious; a few things I am not known for. Most people know I have an innate fear of talking to people who talk very softly. Well, yeah, she talks softly and that doesn't help me at all.

I want to be familiar with someone before I let them be a part of my life.
"I know you don't hate her. It's just that, you need to know someone for you to trust them. Trust is an important issue with you"

How he manages to tap my inner thoughts like that amazes me slightly.
"How do you know it's exactly that?"
"Trust me, I've been your best friend for 7 years and dated you for two. I know you even more than YOU let on"
"Besides...I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile..."

Stupid fellow. We're having a serious conversation and you randomly sing Lionel Richie's Hello to me.

I don't hate her. I promise. This feeling shall pass, I know of it.


03. This wedding plans are robbing me of my social life. It's sad to say I have yet to watch The Dark Knight when three-quarter of the population of the world have already watched it TWICE.

Fine, I'm being a fat, selfish walrus.


04. One of my father's late friend's daughter is going off to Cyberjaya to study and we decided to visit her on Saturday. We went out for dinner/supper (I have been skipping breakfast and dinner because I just have no mood to eat) and then we went back to their place. We got on to talking and somehow the conversation went to the topic of consuming fish.
"Fish is food for the brain. You're smart. See when you ate fish, you got 7As for your PMR. Even my son also got good result. My son...and my daughter too"

The statement itself is innocent, but I tend to look at it in both a positive and negative light.

Yes, dear father. I am not smart. No need to feel sorry for me. There is no need for you to feel compelled to mention my being smart. It's okay. I've learnt I am second best. Silver is such a pretty colour on me compared to gold.

The next day, I just went to the trophy cabinet and took out all of my stupid trophies and hid them somewhere in my room.

It's not because of what my father said. Almost every trophy in there belongs to my brother. To put my trophies there would be an insult to his intelligence.

Everyone who steps into my house for the first time would casually walk over to the cabinet and peruse the trophies one by one.
"Eh, why mostly your son's trophies only?"

We live in a culture that tells us the amount of As we score is equivalent to how perfect we are and how wonderful life is.

I don't want to be subjected to people's idiocy to such things.

So if and should anyone ask me why I lack trophies in the cabinet, I might just answer "Why? Do you want to give me one so that I don't feel sorry for myself for not being as smart as he is?"

At least I know how to spell and count and read. That's all that matters, no?

*****

ROBBIE KEANE IS IN LIVERPOOL.

WHAT THE HELL.

HE'S NOT MEANT TO BE THERE. HE BELONGS TO SPURS.

Ah well, not like the went to ManUre. Ugh, that would've been disastrous.

*****

I promise not to buy anything until October.

Whatever money comes my way shall be used for the David Cook album fund, the David Cook in KL fund, and the ongoing Stamford Bridge fund.

=)

*****

"Ma, I don't care. When David Cook comes to KL, I am going"
"Must see the timing is right or not first-lah"
"Timing right or not, I am going. I have already been robbed of so many things, let me have this moment, okay"
"I'm taking you with me, by the way"


I feel better already.


Stop worrying, okay. Michael Johns is keeping me happy with his shenanigans.


Currently listening to:
Warwick Avenue - Duffy.

You think you're loving but you don't love me.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

I think I have sunk to an all-time new low.

It's not about the wedding any longer. I will talk about this when I feel like it.
It's not even about missing my Chelsea boys in action (Honestly, Franco di Santo is so adorable but too young. It's your fault I'm turning into a cougar!).


It's something someone I know said.

I have a tendency to interpret a seemingly innocuous statement as something that can hurt me.



Can I talk about this later?

I am trying to cheer myself up by trying to beat my Word Challenge score and listening to music that people dance and sing to.

Have a great week.

Where did you hide yourself?

I wish there was a way I could just stop feeling this nagging feeling in me. It's eating me alive and slowly, I think a part of me that most of you used to know and love has perished.

It's not great to walk out in public looking happy one minute and the next thing you know, all you want to do is cry but you refuse to do anything of the sort because you promised someone you'd be strong and not cry for whatever it is that's making you feel like crap.

There are so many wants, none of which tantamount to needs.

All I really need is a hug.
I need a hug just so that I remember how to exhale and know that things will be alright.

I'm so sorry for sounding like a depressed walrus. I just feel trapped and suffocated with this current situation I'm in.

I'm on the road to recovery (hopefully) with the help of 12AM pillow talks with ex numero due, songs from my TV boyfriend (What? He makes me happy anyway, he reminds me of Ryan Star. They both are smart and like MCR), and random pirate jokes.

I will be okay. I promise.

If I am not okay, well, eat cookies.

Just maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.

"What's up, sexy?"
"Shut up"
"Uh-oh. I know that tone anywhere. It's the infamous 'I-can-be-a-bitch-as-and-when-I-please' one. It's 12 so...go on"
"Do you know how horrible I feel right now?"
"Shoot"
"I just hate this wedding"
"Uh, aren't you supposed to be excited? Why do you hate it?"
"I can't do anything!"
"Like what?"
"LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW!"
"Okay, focus your anger on something else besides me"
"Sorry. I can't see Chelsea play. I can't see Daughtry. I can't see Jared Leto in Genting. YOU KNOW HOW NEAR GENTING IS TO MY PLACE? WTF!"
"MPH IS HAVING A SALE FROM THE 30TH UNTIL THE 3RD OF AUGUST AND I CAN'T GO! FOR GOD'S SAKE, A BOOK SALE!!! I WANT TO GET SOME NEW BOOKS TO READ-LAH!"
"I'M HORRIBLY MAD AT EVERYONE!"
"THE ONE TIME CHELSEA AND I ARE IN THE SAME CONTINENT, I CANNOT GO. WHY? BECAUSE MY BROTHER DECIDED THAT HE HAS TO GET MARRIED FAST BECAUSE THE PERSON HE IS MARRYING IS THIRTY!"
"Breathe, sweetie. Take a deep breath"
"I don't hate them but...argh! I sound so selfish, but I can't help it! I'm going to be the worst sister-in-law ever!"
"You're not going to be"
"You're a grumpy little thing, you know? It amuses me to no end to see you rambling"
"Why is it that I can only talk to you when I am feeling unhappy?"
"Because when you're happy, you're busy throwing insults back and forth at me"
"Not that I'm complaining, I know that's your way of saying you love me"
"You're obnoxious"
"You know something?"
"What?"
"I'm happy David Cook isn't coming to KL just yet. Oi, quit hitting me and hear me out! Because if he did come around the time your brother was getting married, you would be even grumpier than you are right now and trust me, no one, I repeat, NO ONE would want to say a word to you because anything they say might make you shout at them or cry uncontrollably"
"When he comes here, I AM GOING AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME. I MEAN IT AND I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!"
"Jesus, no. I am not going to come with you to see him! Thanks but no thanks"

It's amazing you're the only person I can be upfront and frank about things like these that make me doubt myself for being human or having feelings.

Thank you for 12AM pillow talks.
Thank you for making damn sure I don't weep like a MASSIVE baby walrus.
Thank you for being you. Obnoxious or not, you are love.

You're my wonderwall.

*****

I need to get out.

Guess what? This pair of shoes in Novo I was eyeing since January is being sold at RM49 now! It used to be RM126, then it was RM59.

"You want it or not?"

I said no.


Wow. First I said no to a necklace, now I said no to a pair of shoes?

I am beyond surprised that my will-power is THAT strong.

Oh, how quaint. Magic Rainbow is playing now.


You know what that means?
It means I should reward myself for being headstrong.


Right after I typed that, they played Always Be My Baby.

THIS CALLS FOR A DOUBLE REWARD!

Toodles.

I could not ask for more.

Okay, this is post number 400.

Wow. That's just insane.

Oh well, happy 400th!

*****

Guess what? Due to constant abuse by my mother, my old PC fondly known as Tomas has died.

The power button on the CPU has finally given way, so now I am unable to retrieve the songs I downloaded for the wedding.

But no worries, I'm a resourceful little kitty and I managed to find some songs online. But most of my assignments and songs are in there.

I'm feeling blue.

*****

Today was wonderful.

Wonderful isn't even the right word.

So the best friend who is back from burning things in Medan came over at 10AM for our little trip. Can this girl get any skinnier? She's so horribly skinny it makes me feel like I'm a MASSIVE walrus.

Anyways, we set off to Menara Standard Chartered which is right next to Pavilion for our spa trip. Both of us picked the aromatherapy massage while my mother picked the Swedish massage.

We got to our designated rooms and I saw my masseuse. She looked kind of stern but she was super-friendly.
"This is the shower cap. This is the disposable panties"
*holds it up*
"This small part is the back and this is the front"
"And that's your towel. I'll be back in a few minutes"

So I changed and waited. She came back and rubbed salt on my body for the body scrub treatment and started interrogating me. The usual "Are you mixed?" and "What are you doing?" kind of questions.

After that, the three of us spent 20 minutes in the steam bath. It was freaking hot but tolerable to my standards.

Then, we had to take a bath to get rid of the salt. Next came the massage. More conversation ensued.

She has four kids, lives around Batu Caves, enjoys doing the wedding decorations, thinks men are the biggest wuss in the world (this had me in stitches albeit being uncomfortable lying face down) and thinks black and white with a hint of red at a Malay wedding is uber cool (I like the idea too, who cares what those old folks think!).

One thing that baffles me about these masseuses in general is that they know exactly which part of your body hurts.

*massages back*
"Your back hurts, doesn't it? I bet it's because you sit in front of the PC"

Damn psychic this woman. How do they know?!

We were done by 1PM and the other two were saying how quiet their masseuses were and how chatty mine was. I know it was supposed to be relaxing and all, but I actually like it when people talk to me rather than just stay silent (I know one person I can doze off to when they're talking to me...but that happens at night when bouts of insomnia are rampant).

Then guess what the best friend said?
"You know my masseuse was telling about how thin I was and I told her it was in the genes. She says to me 'But your mum and your elder sister aren't as skinny as you, they're normal what!'. I told them that you weren't my sister or mother"

Do I look that old?

I look fat, but definitely NOT old.

Then we had lunch and we decided to celebrate our "early" 21st birthday. Since we weren't going to be around for our birthdays (hers is on the 19th of August...you know when my birthday is, right!), I thought we'd celebrate it early.

My father is a joker, seriously.
"Take the candle off the cake! The wax will melt on the cake!"


Uncle fiddling with the cake and the box.


Uncle is so technology-unfriendly -.-'

He made us blow the candle almost 10 times (I am not joking) just to get a shot of us because by the time he took the photo, we already blew the candles. We almost burnt the restaurant down.

Eh, it's not our fault he's so slow, okay!


After 10 attempts, we have a winner, folks.


My little sister and I. Woman, why the hell are you so skinny-lah? I look like I'm eyeing the cake. Stupid thing *slaps self*

I had the time of my life (pun very much intended to annoy someone) today and I definitely wouldn't trade it for the world.

Thank you, little sister, for the wonderful time today. I love you. Can't wait for the next time you come home.

Stop burning things and polluting the air when you go back to Medan!

*****

I heard my song on the radio just now and I flipped out in joy, channelling my inner Christian Finnegan.

I just love how one song can make your day seem so much brighter.

*****

Since this entry is entry number 400, I thought I'd post up my top 10 favourite songs.

01. Yellow - Coldplay/Wonderwall - Oasis.
02. I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain.
03. We Might Fall - Ryan Star.
04. Makeover - David Cook.
05. Mr. Brightside - The Killers.
06. Last Train Home - Ryan Star.
07. Roxanne - The Police/George Michael.
08. Stars - The Cranberries.
09. Searchlights - David Cook.
10. December/Money Love - Juke Kartel.

WHAT WHAT WHAT? DAVID COOK IS NOT AT NUMBER ONE???
*gasps*
The horror.

*rolls eyes*

I am quite sane okay? Contrary to popular belief, my life hasn't been completely taken over by him, thank you very much.


Oh well. I need to go and create mayhem in the house. I'm trying to figure out how to bring Tomas back to life. Half of my songs are in there especially some of the oldies I promised my parents.

=(

Incarcerate, rest peacefully.

I hate celebrating my birthday alone but I refuse to have a party.
I know now why I always end up feeling gloomy and upset on my birthdays.

Hopefully, this year...it would be different.


Makeover has got to be my favourite track from the Analog Heart album.
Finally, I learnt the art of not breaking down when people around you are having a bitch fit.

How?
01. Listen to songs.
02. Watch stupid videos and stupid boys you adore with, probably, your life.
03. Being a housemaid and cleaning your sanctuary/room.
04. Do crossword puzzles.
05. Sleep and dream of people or things that make you smile.


Shall not talk about what happened today because for all I care, I'm living in the now and if people can't learn to let grudges go, it's not my problem. It's theirs.


Thank you for being concerned, but like I told you earlier:
"I am going to be okay. My tears aren't worth their time"


I probably won't be blogging any time soon. With everything that's going on plus the low blood pressure symptoms coming back again, I just need some time for myself to think and see myself beyond the person in the mirror staring back at me.

Love you people all the same!

Just in case you miss your fix of my mad ramblings of this man =)

I'll swim into you if you'll drown in me.

Here's another reason why I fail in being a woman.

My boyfriend wears more make-up than I do in year.

Oh yeah. Go on and laugh. I know you want to.

*****

I can't wait for Thursday. I haven't seen the Indonesian best friend who likes to burn things instead of studying.

I miss her and her jokes.

I miss the Russian one too. Our Carlos and Ballack jokes. Sigit and Paul-Erik. Dark fried noodles and hard cookies (this story will never die down, our mothers love to make fun of our non-existent cooking skills when we were 15).

I can never stand in between them or even next to them though. One is too thin, one is too tall. I have low-self esteem what?

*****

I got bored, so there. An update for you because I won't be updating this week. Unless I feel like it.

Two Names You Go By:
01. Roxanne.
02. Juicy Mookie (long story cut short, this nickname came out from a joke).

Two Parts of Your Heritage:
01. Malay.
02. Sri Lankan-Sinhalese.

Two Things That Scare You:
01. Cockroaches.
02. Heights/Blood (I couldn't decide).

Two of Your Everyday Essentials:
01. Fresh orange juice.
02. Milo/Neslo/Coffee/Cham.

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
01. My blue hibiscus shorts.
02. White short sleeve buttoned top.

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists:
01. David Cook (oh yeah, I am SO biased).
02. The Killers.

Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
01. Trust.
02. Surprises.

Two Things You Hate:
01. Stupid petty people.
02. Cristiano Ronaldo.

Oh sorry, it says 'things', not people.
In that case, I'd go with pink things.

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You:
01. Eyes.
02. Lips. Or hair. Can't decide on this.

Two Things You Want Really Badly:
01. Leave the country.
o2. Tickets to see my Chelsea boys and permission to go see them.

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation:
01. London.
02. Wisconsin.

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
01. Go backpacking across Europe.
02. David Cook.

Okay, okay. It's 'things', not people!
Fine. I want to get a tattoo.

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit:
01. I find cleaning my room and washing clothes and washing plates highly therapeutic.
02. I cross my arms when I take my shirt off.

Two people I would like to see take this quiz:
01. Sylvien, because she likes to talk about Cristiano Ronaldo to me in (vain) hopes of making me like him.
02. Anyone else who is bored, jobless and has time to spare.

*****

I need a haircut, a pair of scissors, my mad collection of highlighters, and a book so badly right now.

But no.

Mr. Converse and I will be out on a trip to the town to wreak havoc.

Someone please tie me up to the bed.

*****

YAY LEWIS HAMILTON!

And uh, Nelson Piquet Jr on the podium?
Yes!

I can go to bed happy now.

I drew a line for you.

I love Brooke White's version of Yellow.

*****

I'm slightly annoyed with a friend of mine.

We were chatting online one day and she asked me when I'd be graduating.

"July 2009"
"Wow, so long"
*WTF, one year very long now is it?*
"Actually, come to think of it, one year isn't that long. Time flies pretty fast, anyway"
"When will you be finishing?"
"April 2010"
"Oh, I'd be done with my Masters in 2010 in September!"

You see. This friend of mine took Foundation in Business in December 2005 (like right after SPM). She just completed her diploma this year and now she's in Australia doing her degree. 2 and a half years.

Me? I took my Foundation in Arts in August 2005 (yeah, if I only didn't decide to wait for the UIAM matriculation offer like my mother insisted me to). Now I am doing my degree, well into my third year, almost done. By September next year, I'd be off to the UK to do my Masters and stalk my boys (hey, that was part of the agenda).

I mean, if you want to compare things with me, I'd be done with my degree before you.

I mean it's like that thing we learnt in CTS before.
"I have 5 apples and you have two books, which means I have more"

You're comparing on two different levels.

And if you want to compare things with me, make damn sure you know what you want to compare about, because I don't tolerate such petty things.

Just because you're already in Australia and doing YOUR degree, it doesn't mean that:
01. I am poor and I can't afford to go overseas to study because heck, I can! I just realised that we had a lot to spend on this year with the wedding and all, so I want to wait til next year.
02. you're ultimately the successful one amongst us. I am not belittling you, but seriously. You've just started doing your degree and I'm almost done.
03. one year to graduate is such a BLEEDING LONG TIME.

I could've told this to you in your face, but I am such a nice person and my mother taught me to be the better person, so I decided against it.

If you want to compare with me that you have a boyfriend and that I don't, it's fine with me.

But if you want to compare with me about education, just don't. Because I value education as much as I value guitars.

Because it hurts me to see someone smashing guitars or tossing it like it means nothing.

*****

I want to say something else, but it's long and just me sounding a little whiny. So, I'll keep that for another day.

*****

I just discovered that a new tooth is growing on the upper part of the left side of my mouth. It's my wisdom tooth apparently.

"Oh wonderful, let's hope you become a lot wiser after this tooth fully grows"

Ma, you're not funny, okay.

*****

First Gordon Ramsay, now Danny Cipriani?

Oh hell yes.

He loves Chelsea FC.


And I love Paulo Ferreira.

*****

Currently listening to:
My Scouser singing Yellow.

Haha, she sounds cute.

Won't you please help me?

I miss football.

I miss rugby.

I miss my friends.

*****

My father is so random.

Yesterday at the mall, he went to the pharmacy to ask for this ointment but they only had one that was mixed with steroids so he didn't buy it.

"Can you imagine they mixed it with steroids?"
"Yeah, I can't buy that"
"If you bought and ate it, you'd grow boobs!"
"Brooms?"
"Boobs!"
*keeps quiet*
*after 5 seconds*
"Oh..."
*starts laughing*


This evening, we were outside in our lawn and I have this tendency to compare the size of our palms and fingers together. So I started comparing the size of our feet.

"Eh, our feet are the same size!"
"Yes, but my feet size are 8 and a half"
"Mine's 8"
O_O
"Really ah?"
"Yes"
"My right foot is 8 and a half, my left is size 8"
"Eh, got such thing ah?"
"Ya"
"You know those white shoes you recently bought?"
"Yes?"
"I can fit into them"

My mother is always complaining to people about how she gets my shoes and not the other way around.

Damn it, why can't I grow at least an inch taller?!

*****

I'm almost done with my playlist. Shall post it up here tomorrow.

*****

One more year til this madness is done with.

One more year and I'll be leaving on a jet plane.

One more year.

*****

I suck in being a girl because I do not possess ladylike qualities people like.

I like sports. I sometimes belch like a boy. I am not stick-thin. I hate make-up and pink things. I can't cook to save my own life (I don't think someone can get by eating cookies for the rest of their life). I rather sleep than do anything. I like dinosaurs and cars and books more than dolls.

But you know what?
That's alright, I like myself the way I am. Your approval isn't needed.


Currently listening to:
Creep - Axium.

Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want...
You're so fucking special, yes you are...
I wish I was special.

I used to, anyway.

I fail in being a woman. MISERABLY.

So yeah, finding a suitable handbag was such a daunting task I nearly had an argument with my father.

Do I sound like I'm joking?

I mean, half the bags I saw were either too auntie-ish, too expensive, or too ugly.

I found one that was decent and functional. It was RM250. Trust me, I don't like the price of it, but I had no choice.


Then my mother wanted to buy herself a new lipstick. Guess what uncle asked me?
"You want lipstick also or not?"
"No"
"Sure or not?"
"Yeah"
*asks the mother*
"You think she needs lipstick?"
"I think so, don't want her looking pale in Seremban"

So yes, this woman who hardly uses make-up actually bought lipstick and eyeliner from M.A.C. because she didn't want to look pale.

*while applying the lipstick tester*
"I officially fail in being a woman"

The staff there probably thinks I live under a rock for not knowing how to apply lipstick properly.

Yes, I bought a jewellery set that had only one crystal stud. I like it very much.


Don't you just love the principle of parsimony?

And yes, I officially fail in being a woman because I don't wear make-up to save my life, I hate massive handbags and I hate too much spakly jewellery.

*****

I had a fruitful trip today. Everything is (almost) done.

18 days to go. I can't for everything to end.

I'm so tired. Will talk more tomorrow.

I'm just a moment behind.

Do you know I have issues with every single radio station?

Every time I turn on the radio and one radio station is playing, say, No Air (good grief, that song is overplayed to the point my eardrums are bleeding!) and I start skipping channels until I find a station that's playing a nice tune. Then the song ends, and the same radio station plays No Air again.

AND IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE HOUR!

*grumbles*

I think the only song I actually like to hear on the radio is I'm Yours. Magic Rainbow and Always Be My Baby too =p (yeah-lah I'm so biased).

*****

Does this sound absolutely strange to you?
I went into a jewellery store and ended up buying nothing.

You of all people know how I love shiny pretty things. I went there and got so repulsed by the plethora of studs/diamonds/jewels on EVERY SINGLE JEWELLERY PIECE, I didn't get anything.
Seriously, who knew you can go blind in a freaking jewellery store?

I saw a nice pair of earrings though, it's made of seashells.

My parents wanted me to get some nice jewellery for the wedding (they know I sort of like shiny pretty things too) and kept pestering me to get something.

"See anything you like?"
"No"
"What about this?"
"No, because the outfit I have for the wedding sort of takes away the attention from the jewellery because of the lace"
"So you don't want to wear any jewellery for the wedding?"

See how they twist my words so beautifully?


But seriously, me hating jewellery I used to consider beautiful?
My, my. How people change.

*****

This made me smile.

"Eh I've something to send you online. Where are you?"
"I'm out running some errands for the wedding and doing some shopping"
"Did you call Michael Johns?"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Even before you sent me those texts, I actually told my mum who was checking out some shoes that "I was supposed to call Michael Johns" and she laughed with me.


Oh Scouser, my mother wants Magic Rainbow at the wedding. She says it's not your wedding. HAHAHAHA!

*****

You know what I really need?

A new pair of scissors and a few highlighters.

*****

No. Really.

I need sleep. Today's trip was enough to wear me out.

I hate myself for loving you.

crashboombang! says:
about time you got back.
*525,600 | the rakyat CANNOT survive, you idiot | says:
shut up. what is it you wanted to send me?
crashboombang! says:
THIS.
crashboombang! says:
don't forget to breathe, by the way.
*525,600 | the rakyat CANNOT survive, you idiot | says:
OHMYSHORTS.
*525,600 | the rakyat CANNOT survive, you idiot | says:
YOU KILLED ME BEFORE I TURNED 21. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THAT.
crashboombang! says:
consider this as the most subtle way to kill someone who steals your lover.


*unable to come up with an intelligent comment or statement after seeing pic*

Remember how to breathe, people.

I need to hang out with new people-lah, seriously.

Even when I dream of you, the sweetest dreams will never do.

I AM FREE! *does robot dance*

The paper wasn't so bad since it was an open-book exam.

4 questions, 40 marks.

Break down of marks:
Question 01 = 5 marks
Question 02 = 10 marks
Question 03 = 5 marks
Question 04 = 20 marks

I almost got confused with the last question because it was long and confusing (and I am not smart enough to decipher hidden meanings behind questions...STILL second in Word Challenge-lah!). It asked about the different types of products, types of distribution AND pricing strategies all in one question. I actually underlined the three things in the questions and wrote away hoping that my interpretation of the question wasn't wrong.

When the time was up at 2PM, the lecturer who was in the exam hall told us what the question was about. Apparently...my answer is correct.

Can you imagine how relieving it is to know that 20 marks haven't gone down the drain like that?

One month to sleep and relax now.

*****

I came home and got slightly upset over someone who just knows how and where exactly to prick me with a needle.

Instead of crying, I chose to sweep, vacuum and mop my room.

Oh yeah. I could get used to being domesticated.

*****

I had this really weird dream yesterday before the shopping trip.

I went to this Idol tour concert in KL and somehow I was late. By the time I got there, I missed Cookie's performance (if this ever happened in real-life, someone please kill me...I am NOT kidding) and I managed to sit at the side of the stage. Brooke was singing Yellow (which I really liked) and then she introduced Michael Johns on stage. He started singing Fire and It's All Wrong But It's All Right. Then, the concert ended and he went backstage. Brooke suddenly came back on stage and mentioned that Michael took his shirt off. And since I was sitting at the edge of the stage nearing the backstage, I went to peek. He put on this yellow shirt and he saw me looking and I ran away because I got scared. I ran all over the building with May, my 17 years who I bumped into while running away from Michael. We went all over the place, only stopping to eat some chocolate-coated marshmallows.

Then we ran back up, and saw Michael coming out. I wanted to run but my friend was going fangirly there, she started yelling "MIKEY COME HERE AND TAKE A PIC WITH US!" and he came to us. He came to us and told his manager he'll come shortly.

First he took pics with May, but he looked a bit drunk, and he kept asking how old she was. She told him that she was 16 (even in my dreams, she lies about her age -.-'). Then I reluctantly went to take a pic with him (because I was still slightly embarrassed about the incident). He suddenly asked me "Nice view?" (obviously referring to the incident that happened backstage) and I got so embarrassed I didn't know what to answer, so I just kept quiet. Then he asked me how old I was, I said that I was 20. I asked him for his autograph.

Then May saw Cookie and got a bit too excited so she ran to get him. So it was only me and Michael there and he gave me a piece of paper. And he said to call him when I want to go shopping with him. I said okay. Then he gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

By then, I wasn't feeling too well.

Then Cookie saw me and asked if I was okay. I told him it's because of the chocolate I ate that's making me sick. Then he wanted to take me to the clinic and I said no, and we were arguing about it until I fainted. Then I see myself in hospital, and I see Michael there (the hospital people thought he was like a close relative/family member to call during emergency since they saw his number in my pocket). May and Cookie was there, and Michael teased me and said "This isn't what I had in mind when I asked you to call me". I started laughing and so did everyone else.

Then I woke up.


Told you my dreams never make sense.

I told this to my mother and she couldn't stop laughing at me (When I mentioned the part Brooke announces that Michael took shirt off, she just said "So you ran to see him take his shirt off-lah? Hamsap!". She even laughed when I said Michael wants me to call him when I want to go shopping and Cookie was arguing with me about going to the clinic).

I told May about it too. She wasn't happy.
"Why did Michael give you his number? I like him more than you do!"
"That's why I told you not to lie about your age. Even in my dreams you lie about your age. See what happened? He didn't give you his number to call him out on a shopping trip"
"Bitch, don't talk to me. You stole my lover"

But seriously, I am pretty much stupid in my dreams. Not much difference between me in real-life and me in my dreams. Though if ever Michael Johns or Cookie were in the hospital when I wake up, I would yell "OMG WHO LET YOU IN HERE???" and start laughing.


What did I learn from this dream?
NEVER EVER DOWNLOAD SONGS FROM MICHAEL JOHNS BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP.


Currently listening to:
Somebody to Love - Michael Johns.

Everybody needs love, everybody needs somebody to belong to.

There goes my hero, watch him as he goes.

I can never step into a bookshop and leave without buying anything. There is always something I have to buy.

I'm like a kid in a candy store when I'm in a bookshop.

I went into MPH Bookstores in One U and bought a card (was very bummed I couldn't buy a book there).

Then, my brother and I went into Pay Less Bookstore and guess what I got?

Yes, I got TWO Psychology textbooks. I bought that Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood one because it had cross-cultural approaches!

I love books. Have I told you that already?

*****

Today, I found out that my brother and I have a few things in common.

We hate Ronaldo the pansy.
We love blue shirts.
We love books. I got him to pay for my books =p
We love chocolates.
We hate slow drivers.

We went out together to get a birthday present for my father (which was rather tiring).

*takes out light purple shirt*
*puts on me*
"Why are you putting this on me?"
"I want to see if this shirt matches pa or not...if it doesn't suit you, it won't suit him"
-.-"

I picked this long-sleeved dark blue shirt for him and he told me how my sister-in-law (I'm still not used to saying this word yet) is complaining about how many blue shirts he has but he didn't care and bought it anyway. I have good taste, you see.

He saw that Ronaldo poster on the pillar and he pretended to kick it. I just had to laugh because I wanted to do the same before he did it.

We bought the present and the card, and I told him I wanted to buy these Converse shoes I've been eyeing. We got to the store and I saw the shoes.
"Which is better? Black or blue?"
"Up to you...but if it were me, I'd pick the blue one"

Damn psychic, the bugger. So I showed him the price of the shoes.
"Why are you showing me the price?"
"Because I have no money to pay for them"
"What? And you came in here looking like you had money!"
"I told you I only had RM50!"
"Hey, consider this as your 'going away before getting married' present"
"Okay. I realised I haven't given you money for the last few months already, with all these wedding things"

Yes. He pays me money to wash his plate. Well, at least that's what he says. RM75 a month. I haven't been paid for my services for the last few months. Not complaining, I do know he's been busy with work and the wedding preparations.



There's footwear everywhere! Slippers under my bed, high heels in front of the closet, and the Converse on the chair! My father is right -.-'

I asked the guy at the store for the shoes in size 7 and he looked at my feet. I came home and realised that the pair I bought was size 6.

I checked the label on the shoe box and apparently...
size 6 for men = size 8 for women.

Ah, now that makes more sense.
The guy is super psychic-lah, I say. Look at my feet and he already knows my size.


I love my new Converse shoes.

More importantly, albeit it may seem to be a little trite, I love my brother. There are a lot of things we don't agree on, there are times I resent him, but I do love him.

There goes my hero, watch him as he goes,
There goes my hero, he's ordinary...


P/S: Never EVER download Michael Johns' songs before you go to bed. Shall explain why tomorrow.

Baby, believe me. It's only a matter of time.

Dear Frank Lampard,

If you want to leave, just do it already.
Don't make promises you can't keep.
For you, I will not weep.
I would if I was still 3.
Don't say "I love my people, I love my club" if you're not sincere,
So if you want to leave for Inter,
to rekindle that love affair with your ex-boss Jose,
I (and so will the rest of the world) will not stand in your way.
You're free to go,
I won't be fooled by your lies anymore.

Goodbye.

Very much not pining for you,
-me-


There. I have said it. Just go and stop dominating the backpages of my newspapers. Just go to Jose and continue with your sordid love affairs.

As seen in today's issue of the NST. Heh, even THEY can smell the love you two share.

Chelsea mean the world to me, so if you want to leave, go ahead. Go and be like Ronaldo, that pansy.

Just go, so that people would stop asking me "Eh your boy's leaving! Are you going to jump ship?".

Because I have half a mind to spray profanities on them.

Besides, I have a new boyfriend to make me happy.


That is my current wallpaper. The one that made someone go "HOLY MOTHER OF CANDLESTICKS, THAT MAN IS SEX ON TWO LEGS!". I swear, all of our conversations have some sexual connotations to it. I blame you, simply because I am innocent.


Random pic.

Whiskey coke and a slice of lemon.

"Woman, you eat cookies, you drool over cookie, now you drink cookie???! That's just wrong on all levels!"


Honestly, I can never have a proper decent conversation with you anymore.

How could you make me?

Cheesy songs. Bad headache. Random moment of spazzing out. Being grumpy (she swears my scowl scares her and would probably scare the mister future prospective).

That sums my day up, really.

I swear the next person who asks me if I am going to the Chelsea match is going to die.

Eh, what else?

Oh yeah, working on the playlist. Woman, I promise there is NO Magic Rainbow. I am NOT crazy.

Will be away again until Monday.

I just wish this damn wedding was over and done with. Yes, I am miserably bitter about the whole thing because my freedom is confined to doing things related to the wedding and nothing else.

She is right, my grumpiness scares people. Even myself.
Let go and overdose on some happy pills.