It's some kind of feeling, some kind of force.

Hello, I've come to update this little spot in cyberspace that is mine.

One month without updates? -__________________-
What a slacker.

My birthday came and went. By far, the best birthday ever in years. Thank you all for the cards; cakes; presents; wishes on Twitter, LiveJournal, Facebook, text messages and calls; and prayers. I am grateful that I am still alive and kicking to enjoy the days with each and everyone of you.

Aiyoh, self, why SO cliché? Be more original, please.


Anyway, a lot of things happened this month besides my birthday.

~I had a marriage registration to attend. It's the first time I've witnessed a Sinhalese wedding registration so it was highly exciting.

~Then came my midterms, which I think I did pretty okay. No complaints.

~After that, it was Diwali and that was awesome because I got to satisfy my craving for mutton curry and murukkus.

~Then came my FIRST EVER camping trip, which happened last Saturday. It was pretty exciting, except for the part where my stuff and I got wet because our tent got flooded. Nevertheless, it was a good experience. Wouldn't mind doing it again.

~I came home from the trip with a sore throat and cough (when I went there, I had a flu AND a dry throat AND a bonus menses visit), but did that stop me from eating the ever so awesome kiribath and seeni sambal my cousin cooked and packed home for me since I couldn't attend her son's birthday lunch yesterday?

HECK NO. I even had chicken varuval and fish curry for lunch today!

My voice is SO sexy right now, I feel like growling like a rockstar.

~CHELSEA FC ARE ON TOP OF THE TABLE! *dances around in the room*

KEEP IT UP, BOYS!

~What am I up to this week? I'm finally getting my ass (it's a good thing my dad is technology-unfriendly, he'd scold me for using the word 'ass') kicked into gear so I can start writing my thesis.

And, oh, I have a Diwali dinner to attend. MORE FOOD FOR ME! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!


There you have it, folks. My October, in short, has been nothing but awesome, tearful, amazing and fantastic. Despite minor sore spots, I love it.

Have a picture before you. This is legitimately my favourite photo of myself that I have seen in years.

My favourite photo of myself yet. Thank you for those who made this smile happen. You know who you are. =)

He didn't stand a chance, they said.

You know you're getting old when kids complain to you saying that three theatre screens in a shopping mall are not enough.

When I was 5, there was only one movie hall. My first ever 'going to a movie theatre' moment was watching the first Aladdin movie in some part of Central Market.
I didn't even care if we only had one movie hall in that area.

We never truly are thankful for what we have, are we?


I have a picspam for you! People with slow Internet connection (I'm looking at you, May), you might want to skip this. I wouldn't want to kill you by making you wait for pics to load.

Patience is not my strongest suit. I am horribly impatient.

Strangely enough, when I had to wait 73 days for this album, I learnt that patience and I could be best friends after all.

So bloody worth the wait.

*glee* VERY MOTHER-FLIPPING BASKET OF COOKIES KIND OF HAPPY, THANKS FOR ASKING.

Inside the booklet.







(this is proof that I bought him HAHA)


Skizzy thinks this looks as demonic as the eye tattoo on his wrist. This is not so bad as compared with the eye tattoo, okay?


Track list.


Love. That is all I have to say.


Time of My Life doesn't fit with the rest of the album. Seriously, as much as I love magic rainbows and dancing leprechauns, this song feels a little out of place.
(The voice that captured America, OMG HAHAHAHA!)


May, if you can see this, I DID IT FOR YOU!

Short review/comment on the songs on the album.
01. Declaration: I love the song, it makes me want to dance or even scream along while I'm in the car.
02. Heroes: It is what it says it is. I've always said that my heroes are the random ordinary everyday people around me, and this song song echoes my sentiments to a T. Oh these heroes come and go, you're still standing.
03. Light On: My mother's favourite song (I'm only saying this because she knows how to sing this more than Crush). I remember getting all excited because "OMG NEW SONG!" but then, I don't feel a thing for it now. I don't like it, I don't hate it.
04. Come Back to Me: One of my favourites. I can imagine if this becomes a single, it would've have a weird yet cheesy theme to it. I don't know, lately I just find myself annoyed about predictable music video themes.
05. Life on the Moon: I love this song. I know it's about him and the whole Idol rollercoaster ride, but in our lives, we have come to a point in our lives where an event took place and changed you. This line "I'm alone in this crowded room" in particular, reminded me of my high school memories of being discriminated for having mixed blood.
06. Bar-ba-sol: You want a kind of rockstar swagger off the album? THIS SONG IS IT. The drums and guitar on this are just fantastic. This is the kind of song you want to play when you're pole-dancing or even thinking about stripping to (I am merely quoting my shameless Skizzy).
07. Mr. Sensitive: This song is about him. I wasn't crazy about this song at first, but after a couple of spins, it grew on me.
08. Lie: My favourite track right here. Really, really heartbreaking song. I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart.
09. I Did It For You: I like the catchy chorus, but that's about it.
10. Avalanche: This song took a while to grow on me, I have to say I like it.
11. Permanent: I love this song so much I skip it almost every time it gets played. This song is personal to me and I find myself crying to it almost all the time (hence the skipping). I feel like the more I listen to it, the more I become emotionally attached to it and because of that, the song loses its meaning.
12. A Daily AntheM: I like. Would you sing my song at the top of your lungs?
13. Kiss on the Neck: Eh, what's this? Secret bonus track 8 minutes after A Daily AntheM? I love it! The song is full of swagger, that's why. May and I maintain that this song is about vampires. Skizzy thinks it's about someone else.
14. Time of My Life: I still act like a giddy school girl when I hear this song, no lie. However, like I said before, this song is so out of place among the other songs on the record. Feels a little...off.
15. Breathe Tonight [*Wal-mart bonus track]: May knows what I think of this song, therefore I will not say anything.
16. My Last Request [*iTunes bonus track]: The only song that saved me while waiting. It's Dave favourite song and he says it reminds him of me. Hmmm...

I should be studying instead of being here. Until later!

I will speak in Bahasa Malaysia tonight.

Ke hadapan May yang disayangi,

Apa khabar kawanku? Kami berempat di sini sihat-sihat sahaja. Diharapkan saudari May juga sihat.

Di sini, kami berempat ingin memberitahu May suatu berita penting. Pada Selasa minggu hadapan, iaitu 18 November 2008, kami akan mengadakan lawatan sambil belajar ke Bangsar Village. Tujuan lawatan ini adalah untuk menjamu hidangan coklat yang pelbagai, mengenang kembali zaman kanak-kanak kita, berbual-bual mengenai hal kehidupan masing-masing, dan membeli barang-barang keperluan.

THEOBROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEOBROMA. TOLONG KATA YA.

THEOBROMA. COKLAT. MMMM...SEDAP.

THEOBROMA. KASUT. BISKUT. APA LAGI AWAK MAHU???


Tolonglah setuju dengan cadangan untuk mengadakan lawatan ini untuk bergosip dan bergurau dan membeli barang keperluan harian (tolong jangan menafikan ayat ini, saya akan tamparmu). Kami sangat rindu ketawa and gurau sendamu.

Jawapan anda sangat kami hargai.


Yang benar, jauh and merinduimu,
Skizzy, Della, Roxanne, dan Dave.


Tamatlah sudah warkah blog ini yang sangat berwarna-warni. Sekian, salam maklum.

**Please excuse my atrocious attempt of writing in Malay. The last time I wrote such wonderful Malay was when I was in high school, which was like, 4 years ago? And I hardly speak Malay at home unless I'm speaking to my sister-in-law since she speaks to me mostly in Malay**

I'll take you just the way you are.

I created a new rhyme in my slightly unwell state of mind.

My heart is like a map,
my nose is like a tap.

Okay, I know. Lame attempt in making you people laugh. Jeebus, you people are so hard to please!



I'm feeling alright, albeit my nose is a little stuffy (but the good part is that it's no longer running like a tap).

It was a little funny telling people how cold I felt when they were literally melting under the sweltering heat.


We had an online meeting and I mentioned that I heard the newest Boyzone (WHAT? THEY'RE STILL AROUND?!! HAHA) song and we began reminiscing the good old days of our younger days.

We look back now and cringe at little random things like "OMG TO THINK WE REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE LINE! I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME!!!".

It's nice to know no matter how far apart we can be at times, we can always be geeks and talk about this and other random things when we get back.

My dad once said that he and another man became friends through strange circumstances.

Three of the best friends (including the one who has passed away) started out being enemies with me. Years went by and we became friends under really strange circumstances.

I feel blessed that we're friends. They may corrupt me and all, but I love them.

When we were young, we had crushes, strange tastes in music, and random interests.

Now, we still have all those things and more. We have that bond between us. We know when the other isn't feeling too good. We know what makes the other tick. We know what pisses the other off.

We know what we know.

10 years down the road, we can watch random things like this and laugh, because it just makes us reminisce the times we were at that age and the crazy things we'd say or do for someone on the telly we fell in love with.

Thank you for making me better and taller in more ways than one.

Friends sempiternally.

I am not a slut, Cheongsam Lover.

Hello all, in case I don't post anything interesting here for your perusal anytime soon, it means two things.
01. I am tied up with assignments. I should be free by next Friday. My next assignment is due in December, but still.
02. I am experiencing a triple whammy of pains. Headaches, toothache and the latest, a muscle sprain.

How did the last one happen? Funny story, really.
Well, okay. It's not even the slightest bit funny.

I initially had to go to college at 12, but since Fishy said she thought of coming early at 10 to discuss our assignment together and my mother had a doctor's appointment, so I thought I would go early to college.

I reached there at 8:45 and shook my parents' hands and left. As I reached the lobby, the lift that was going up was about to close. The cleaning lady who at that time was mopping the floor, told the person inside to hold on as she saw me approaching the lift. I walked a little faster because I didn't want the people inside the lift to wait for me.

And I slipped.

Like I stepped on a banana skin.

And fell.

And landed on the right side of my body.

I sat on the floor, wincing in pain, using everything in me not to cry. I sat there, not so much in pain, but more of in total shock. It took a while for me to realise that I slipped.

As I fell, the only thing that went through my mind was "Please let me not fall on my posterior and hit my head hard on the floor. I don't want to be a vegetable so young in life!".

People just stood there stunned. No one helped, not even the security guards (I'm going to cease seeking their help from now on). Well, one girl did come out of the lift and carried my jacket for me -.-'

I was just rubbing my thigh when I got to the floor I wanted to go to. I hesitated to call my mother because she would tell my dad and being the hypochondriac he is, he might just ask the doctor to stab me with needles just to confirm that I was fine.

But I called anyway.

I told her what happened and asked her what to do next since she had a fall two weeks ago, which gave her left thigh quite a bad bruise.

I almost cried while texting the mate and she came up to check up on me, lamenting my 'not-so fantastic' week. I was grateful for that.

It was horribly difficult to sit for 30 seconds without whimpering in pain. All I felt like doing was walk around and just stand.

I just did not want to sit.

I don't think I broke a bone (I joked with Skizzy that "I think the fat surrounding my thigh absorbed the impact most so my bones were spared". She obviously didn't find that statement amusing, judging from the tone of her voice). It's a little swollen and tender but otherwise, nothing damaged.

I will be fine. Trust me.



Oh, thank you Adrian for this.

Dear CheongsamLover,

You are a sick human being.
Do you realise how much you have degraded those girls?
Do you even realise how they would feel if they knew their photos and the comments you made regarding their dressing (or the lack of it, as you claim)?

Tight headscarves? What in the world? Now, it is a sin to wear headscarves the way one is most comfortable with?

Holy Bocephus! I didn't know that!

What anyone chooses to wear if their prerogative, not yours. You do NOT own them.
It makes them comfortable in their own skin to dress the way they do. You do NOT get to judge them.
This is, after all, a free country. We have a right to choose what we wear. YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY IN THAT.

Women are not meant to be objectified like pieces of meat. We are much higher than that, we have feelings, thoughts, ideas and the likes. Do you think I would enjoy knowing that people can take pictures of me, post it up on their blogs and call me a slut? I would be dead humiliated to be objectified in such a manner that derogatory.

If you have qualms about people's dressing, you should ignore it. Walking away and not saying a word is sometimes, the best thing to do. By the looks of it, judging from my limited knowledge of Islam (I am sanctimonious, after all), I would say that you are no worse than a rapist or a man who commits incest. You take pictures of these innocent women (I do not know them well enough to say they're innocent, but they are not to be blamed for his actions) and post them up in your little blog.

Clearly, I would state that you are committing a sin.

Multiple sins, to be precise.

Seems to me like you actually ENJOY these girls and their so-called slutty dressing.

You condemn these women who wear so-called skimpy outfits for earning a living. At least they are working to earn a living, unlike you, who actually spend time taking their pics and posting them up. Definitely the work of a highly bored and jobless man.

Grow up, get a life, and get off these women's cases, especially about their dressing.

Very bitchy, annoyed, and mostly in pain,
-TTG-

P/S: My boyfriend would like to say a few words too.


How very true.

You don't know how bad it feels.

I only went to sleep at 4:30 this morning after typing out the last thing: my research proposal. I could have sworn I saw my laptop screen swirling in pretty weirds circles.

It's not like I was procrastinating. My Internet connection loves to die at times when I needed it most. While it kept dying on me, I wrote it out on a piece of paper.

And that was just my suggested sample and sampling techniques. I couldn't do anything more than that.

This is for you, Streamyx, for making me unable to type out my proposal in time.

While completing this and my assignment, I told some people who were talking online with me that I wanted to drink vodka. Alcoholic kitty, tsk tsk.

I live in Jalan Vodka. Hahaha!

(Story behind this: My parents and I got bored on the way back from SJMC to KL, we started creating our own road names because of the whole "Jalan Alor, Jalan Kejora" thing and I told my mother that if they were to rename our road, it would be known as Jalan Vodka. If they named it Jalan Mawi, I swear to you I am moving out of my housing area. I don't lie)

I was too tired to even watch the Chelsea-Roma match. I thought that if I moved my ass an inch, I would have fallen on the floor and lie there until my mother wakes me up in the morning. So I sat there, relying on updates from Renny and typing my proposal out.

So when I woke up at 9 this morning, I was worried about meeting my supervisor. She's not scary, contrary to popular belief, but she is intimidating. Plus, this topic I'm doing, it's her forte. So no chance in hell to play the bullshit card, which is really my forte, to be honest.

11:30 swings by and I see my supervisor. The first thing she asked to see was the research proposal.

She said it was a very good proposal.

HOLY FREAKING BOCEPHUS-KU! WHAT? I spent like 45 minutes on that, not knowing what I typed in and all (I was seeing my laptop screen swirling in front of me, remember?) and she says she likes the fact I know what exactly what I want to do with my research and how in detail I went with the scales and what-nots?

Fan-freaking-tastic.

She did say she needs me to add in a few details and such, nothing major.

But still, when she was reading my proposal, I was expecting her to shoot it down to a T because I had no idea what I was typing out.

I'm just happy it turned out good. So now, I have one week to sort of rectify the proposal.

It paid off, just like you said. Thank you for staying up with me and entertaining me about other random road names (Jalan Lipas, Jalan Cham and Jalan Todi. Man, are we just that bored and random or what!).

My head hurts. I think I should go off to bed.

Until later.

My words they sing you their song.

Hello you.

Today, you would be 22 years and 2 weeks old.

You would have been, anyway.

There is not a day that I don't think of you. You know what they say, the first cut is the deepest. I always feel you watching me, in a non-stalker kind of way. Making sure I do the right thing. Laughing at my mistakes.

Sometimes, I think if you were still here, you'd say "This is the voice of your conscience speaking, you are not fat" to my face.

And I will half-mindedly say "I believe you".

I don't know if you know this, I have changed a little. You know what change does to me. It makes me afraid and awkward. But I deal with it just alright.

I am sure you must be immensely proud to hear that I do not use the violent approach of throwing things around when I am angry. Yes, be proud. Your little girl is much wiser now to know that violence doesn't cure cancer, solve problems or fix her financial situation.

I like rock songs more than I used to when I was 14. Shocker, I know. Oh well, I suppose a good change would do me some good. Not really into the whole pop-boyband stuff anymore. I'm too old and too cool for that now. Haha.

I know I am not speaking for myself when I say I miss you. We all do. Your wit and caring self is what we miss the most about you. Well, that and the fact you beat the crap out of my Hindi-speaking skills.

I watched the movie "Wit" a couple of weeks ago and I thought about you. Well, my initial thought was "Why in the world did I choose to wear my purple eyeliner today?". I only said that because I was sobbing thinking about what you went through. The pain of it all made me cry. So now I know better than to wear eyeliners to school in case my lecturers decide to show me movies that make me think of you which will make me cry.

My hair is longer now than what you'd remember before. It's way past my shoulders but above the lower back. I am resigned to be known as the 'langsuir queen' because one day I washed my hair and didn't dry it, and my dad thought that I just auditioned for the role of a vampire. Yes, you may laugh at me.

How are things with me? I'm doing good, not that great, but I'll survive. One more year until I graduate and then, what happens? I don't know. I may work, I may not...one thing's for sure, I will continue to study. Not just at a university level, I learn new things everyday. You never truly stop learning.

On a relationship front, I have been single for the last three years. Purely by choice. I'm not sad, I don't feel left out. I have other things to worry about like 'Will my hair be blue by the end of the season because of that bet?'.

I have so much to say but I will take forever just to do that. You know I have a tendency of rambling like an idiot before I finally come to my point because I get nervous and sweaty and all that when I have something important or random to say to you.

It happened again. Haha. Sorry.

I love you, sempiternally (favourite new word!). Nothing can change what you mean to me or the one year of happiness you gave me.

Thank you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I am sorry.
Take care.

I will refrain myself from saying 'goodbye' because it is so trite so I'll just end it by saying 'until later'.

ABYB,
-RH-

For your perusal.

Today, my lecturer told us that no one uses the term 'for your perusal' anymore.
That liar.

I do, okay. And so does...

Well, never mind. Skizzy knows who I'm talking about.


Anyways, for your perusal, I got yet another gift and card yesterday. This time around, it's from my lecturer cousin and his family.


If you know me, I am quite a pain when it comes to opening presents. I peel the cellophane tapes off so slowly and carefully to the point a snail moves faster than that. I'm trying to save trees, thank you!


-.-' As if the wrapper wasn't enough, there has to be a box. Let's see what's in it.



OMG. GOLD HEART-SHAPED EARRINGS. So pretty!

Okay, I know I said I didn't like gold things, but this has a hint of silver in it. So, it's entirely fine.


My niece handmade my card. So sweet, I tell you.


She spelt my name with an extra 'E', haha. The only other person who does that is my good friend, the concerned alcoholic.

"Why did you write 'have fun eating carrots' here?"
"You were born in the year of the rabbit right? And rabbits eat carrots"
"Ah...I see"

I am such a stupid person, okay. Don't judge me.


Thank you to my cousin and his family for the gift. I love it.


My trip to see my thesis supervisor proved to be fruitful. She was incredibly nice and supportive and to think I was afraid of her! I have to meet her again in another two weeks' time, which gives me some ample time to carefully write out my proposal =)

And oh, I'll be away for a week or so. Assignments and midterms galore...just in case you DO miss me.

Oh yeah, you know you saw it coming.

Wish me luck!

This is the time of my life.

This post shall be updated when someone else decides to be generous with gifts.

Excuse my cheesy title. My 21st was indeed the time of my life.

So what happened?
My best friend from secondary school called me up at midnight and lamented about the fact she has to wait until December to turn legal. It was incredibly nice of her to call me up from the library of her university since she was studying for my finals, she never fails to call me up at midnight on my birthday. We had a falling out for about a year in 2005 and I'm eternally thankful that we're back on good terms again.

After that, my 17 years and her cousin called me up and made an awful rendition of Light On and Crush, they were mucking up the lyrics! I couldn't help but laugh really loudly, which resulted in myself getting a slap from my mother for being too loud. Yeah, I got slapped by my mother a few minutes into my moments of being 21. Let's not talk about that because it makes the three of us feel horribly awkward. Thank you nonetheless, for being there and making me laugh to prevent the tears from rolling down and telling me what to do when it did and my pressure dropped.

Anyways, the whole morning of my birthday, I refused to see anyone. I made a dash to the bathroom, took a shower and headed back into my room. and stayed in there for what seemed like forever. I was bitter, okay. My birthdays in the past have never been outstanding, I always end up being miserable and grumpy. I came down only when everyone was ready to head out to visit my relatives. That was at 1:24PM, the time I was born, and my dad wishes me at only this time and not earlier or later than that. He wished me and the rest followed. I don't think I shook hands with my mother because I was very upset.

The first place we went to was my Mak Ngah and Mak Su's place. I have been craving for her chicken rendang (that's where my mother got her recipe from) and her kuah kacang. By far, the best kuah kacang ever. It so happens my Mak Su and I share the same birthday. We had fun teasing my Mak Ngah. Poor auntie. Haha. By this time, I felt better. Grumpy baby walrus was nowhere to be seen.

Then we headed out to my Mak Andak's house. We had a good laugh too.

After that, we went over to an old family friend's house. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing she forgot my birthday. Every year, she used to give RM100 in the birthday card she posted and that stopped for a while, and when my brother got married, she gave me RM100 too. One thing about this auntie is that she is super generous. Way too generous. She gave me RM50 as my duit Raya. I'm not so greedy-lah, I don't shamelessly tell people "It's my birthday today, give me extra money please". I am not so forward =/

Then we had dinner in Victoria Station in Medan Damansara. Every year my brother plans on calling the staff to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me (if you tell them it's your birthday, they sing for you), but it never materialises (because I don't fancy the idea of some random person singing happy birthday to me...unless of course, he is THE one and only David Cook).

I had fun, it may not have been a great birthday but I had fun regardless.

Anyways, let's take a look at the gifts and cards then, shall we?

This is what I got from my parents.


Say hello to Andy, my new iPod nano. So darn pretty, kan?

I'm not allowed to use him until the 18th because that when my exams will be over and done with.




This is the card the family gave me. Yes, my brother and his wife signed this card too. I'm their daughter too, apparently. Does anyone else think that my brother's signature looks like it says David instead of Rizal?

Aimee Lee Kit-Ee/woman with so many 'eees' in her name sent me a card. Next time, you use eagles, okay? Pos Malaysia fails us again.


Aimee ah, I showed my dad your card like you asked me to and he says he likes your handwriting better.
-.-' He says mine is all disjointed, something about it not being connected or written in cursive handwriting. I like my handwriting, okay, thank you.

This pretty box came from the mate. Randomly, I didn't know how to open the box and Yas said to pull the lid up and that's when we found out how to open the box. I am so stupid, I tell you.

What's inside, you ask?

No-lah, how can you fit David Cook inside there? You people are too imaginative-lah. So much free time, is it? Come do my assignment for me, please?

I squealed when I saw these things inside that pretty box.

Chelsea pencil box.

Chelsea mug. I so happy can die, thank you.
Thank you, mate! *hugs and squeezes you*

Skizzy, upon hearing the bad start to my day, found something that she knew would cheer me up.

"For you, on your 21st...you deserve this because you have to wait another 42 days for the album"

THIS = ONE DROOL-WORTHY BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER.

The revelation of THAT particular tattoo leaves me oh-so very happy I'm doing cartwheels now.

Oral fixation, much?

MY BOYFRIEND IS MY MUSE! HAHAHA! Thank God for that Guitar Hero advert.

Favourite photo ever.

I have come to a conclusion that this man is a robot manufactured by an evil scientist to render people speechless and seduce innocent beings into having horrible, horrible thoughts.

Yes, you have succeeded in seducing me, now quit the smirking already! Let me enjoy the remaining bit of dignity I have left in myself. Don't taunt me!

I love you, woman. I did get him on my birthday after all. HAHA!

Thank you so much everyone for the gifts and wishes through Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, online, LiveJournal, text messages, snail mail and e-mails. I love you all sempiternally. Here's to more birthdays and happy occasions.

Right, I'm exhausted and my double whammy of aches isn't getting any better so I better go to bed.

Words will never take my place, when you know why I'm leaving.

I am still alive, thank you for asking. I just didn't feel like there was a need to update the last few days.

I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I just needed some time for myself because I felt like a big change was coming in my life. A really good change, and usually when changes happen too fast for my liking, I tend to put life on pause to evaluate the situation. If you know me like a book, you'd know that I hate drastic changes. I can take changes well, just not the drastic ones. I need to learn, I know.

Do not assume things just by reading the things I type in the first paragraph like what my father's former English teacher used to do when he marks his students' essays (if your first paragraph is up to his standards, you'll get 50/100...if not, you get a ZERO). Read word-for-word, even if I have a tendency to sound like a deranged fangirl.

I am shallow at times, I know. That does NOT make me completely brainless or stupid.


Saturday was, by far, one of those days I felt like I have truly exhaled and not feel asphyxiated at all. I had fun with my extended family. You cannot imagine what it felt like to be in my shoes, counting down the hours to my impending death before the dinner took place. It turned out the exact opposite when I got there and plopped my sorry derriere on the chair. I found myself smiling, laughing, camwhoring and doing rather silly things. It was like all of us were a family again. To be the queen of all things corny and cheesy, I shall use a line of my so-called favourite song and say that I had the time of my life.

Things are going well with me. I feel good that I have stuck to my schedule like I promised myself that I would. So, au revoir, senorita procrastinator. Hah.

Light On is a song that speaks to me in more ways than one. Every single time I hear it, I feel like there is a different meaning attached to it. I have a few meanings attached to that song as well. Personal ones, to be exact. I know a lot of people either do not like him and his guts OR the song, I don't care too much. As far as I know, I love the song and I cannot wait for the album.

There is another week until I turn 21. Not only am I getting older, I also am getting wiser. Yes, my wisdom tooth is growing fully now. I cannot smile, eat, laugh, talk or sing much without flinching in pain. I consider that as a birthday present to myself. Being wiser and smarter. Hah.

Eid is in another two days time and I personally am not ready for it. I feel like I'm not in the mood to celebrate Eid. All of us haven't fully recovered from the wedding events and what-nots. I know I haven't gotten the full rest I really need. Besides that, even if I only have classes from Tuesdays to Thursdays, most of my classes are in the evenings and I have assignments and my thesis paper to worry about. I have tonnes of things to do and so little time. What's worse is that my midterms are also around the corner and I have to study. Sigh.

I will not be updating anytime soon, so I'm going to wish everyone SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN; and HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

The next update will probably be the obligatory birthday post. Well, that's what I think, anyway.

Try to leave a light on when I'm gone, something I rely on to get home...

Until later =)

Sing it with me.

Dear Dang Sylvien @ mate,

I hope you haven't melted after seeing Michael Phelps' abs of steel.

Where are you? Why are you hiding from me? Are you secretly posting up that ugly gayboy's poster you took down recently and not telling me?


No longer convinced my house is possessed,
-me-

*****

So yes, I know I was being paranoid. My house is not possessed.

Are you happy I confessed to being paranoid already?

We should throw a party.

*****

Has the world not seen enough of Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers?

I feel like turning my TV and radio off when I hear all their songs. Maybe it's just me.

I was practising my guitar yesterday and this old Westlife song was being played on the radio. It made me cringe thinking "I used to listen to this and love the music they make, oh my God". I must add that I still remember the words to that cheesy song. Shameful but true. And I hate it when I go to Parkson in OneU, they play the same Westlife album over and over again. I mean, isn't there another CD they can pop in? I'd be shaking my head everytime I go there and my mother knows all too well.
"I'm not asking them to play the other half of you-know-what-I-call-them. Just play something different"

Maybe if I was 10 or something, I'd believe that the world revolved around Miley Cyrus, High School Musical and the Jonas Brothers and idolise them sempiternally. But sadly, I am not 10, but 20 and horribly old.

I guess we just go through a phase in life where we get exposed to different kinds of music. I like the different genres of music except maybe a bit of techno and Japanese music. I find the resurgence of old boybands highly amusing too. Take That is fine because eventhough their music sounds very, very morose, I can tolerate that.

Do we still get to call them boybands since they are old in their mid-30s and they are no longer considered as boys?
Then again, manband would sound very odd.

We all go through a phase where we experiment the different kinds of music there are out there. I listened to rap when I was 13, then I started listening to rock music when I was sixteen or so (rock became a huge part in my life when I turned 18), but pop played a major part of my life because I grew up with that music (Michael Jackson was one, he was after all, the King of Pop).

If you asked me now how much of pop music I listen to, I'd tell you that it's a very limited playlist when it comes to pop. Well, maybe it's because all my pop songs are stashed in my dead PC. Haha.

But still, I cannot take it when all I hear on the radio are these artistes that come out from the Disney Channel. I don't like the Jonas Brothers because they made a remake of this song I liked called Year 3000 from Busted (I blame May for all the Brit music influences in my life). The original song itself is hilarious, but then they changed it and I didn't quite like their version.

Yes, I realise I am rambling so I might as well shut up.

*****

Say what you want about Magic Rainbow, but the more I hear it, the more I like it. Contrary to what Skizzy said earlier in one post about my hating the song, I like the song a lot more than I used to, it's sort of grown on me.

Go on and make fun of me. I dare you.

*****

My mother is so amusing it makes me cry thinking about next year or the year after that.

I know she'll come with me (she wants to stalk old grumpy frumpy Fergie) and all, but still. The thought of leaving home does scare me.

Almost everyday, she will come and ask me "Do you have a boyfriend?" and everytime I say no, she says "You will tell me when you have one, right?".

One day, while waiting for her to pick me up, I was just talking to a guy friend of mine who was also waiting for his parents. Almost two hours after we came home, she came into my room and asked me "That guy you were talking to just now...is he your boyfriend?".

-.-' Every guy I talk to now is my boyfriend-lah, is it?

"No, he's a guy who is my friend whom I see as an older brother. That's it. Ma, don't worry, if I do have a boyfriend, which will be very much later in life, I will tell you first, okay? And I will bring him home to meet the both of you instead of having a shotgun wedding"

She laughed and nodded. She knows my take on my brother's wedding so it's all good.

But she does not think my boyfriend is sexy (this came after a long and lengthy conversation about Avril's concert being postponed or cancelled or whatever that's going to happen to it, and what would happen if the said boyfriend wanted to come here).

How dare she say that. Hmmph. Boo her.


And today she was surprised that my phone bill was less than hers. Mine went down by a whole 50%.
"How can that happen? It's a miracle. What did you do?"

Just got to love her.


I need to get back on my guitar now. Toodles.

I love you, BPL! You know that, don't you?

BPL IS BACK!

FINALLY I HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT BESIDES MY TV BOYFRIEND!!!

*****

I must have been so busy with the wedding, I didn't realise Paul Robinson joined Blackburn!

I hate Liverpool's away kit. But I think I better not say anything about their away kit because the last time I did that, Chelsea made that horrifying electric yellow jersey as the away kit.

No making fun of Liverpool's kit because I'm a closet fan. Haha.

To my dear Peter Crouch, don't score against my boys. I will banish you to some rainforest if you do.


Hello, you very handsome, you know.

Shut up, all of you. No one is allowed to insult my (ex) boyfriend. I know you're jealous he is just that good-looking.

*****

Michael Phelps has won his 8th gold medal.

Seriously, that man is not human. Oh, but him and his abs are something else.

My dad was asleep while they were showing the Olympic highlights and when they were talking about Michael Phelps. He woke up in time to hear it and see Michael Phelps in action. You should see the way he was looking at him. It was full of pure concentration.

I think he likes and secretly wants Michael Phelps' abs of steel.


Okay, no more talk about Michael Phelps' abs.


And what about that Usain Bolt? That man is even more not human!


I hope Lee Chong Wei makes history tonight. If he wins the gold medal (I have a right to be optimistic, thank you), I think I'll cry.

Well, I don't think I'll cry.

I will cry.


I mean, we have a chance of making history here. Wouldn't you cry if he won?

Fine, fine. Call me a drama queen.

I can't wait for that match.

*****

After getting David Archuleta's Crush from May.

"You know this song reminds me of you"
"Haha, I know why you said that"
"Your love story is being sung by a 18-year-old and that's a fact"
"What are you going to do with yours?"
"Nothing"
"You're happy that way?"
"Perfectly"
"If you're happy, I'm happy too"
"You know what?"
"Yeah?"
"This song could very well be about your love life too"

You insane human being. How in the world did you become my 17 years?

*****

I may be finally going on holiday this week!

I am most probably going to Kuala Besut in Terengganu on Wednesday or Thursday until Friday for my nephew's wedding (yes, I do realise I am as old as the dinosaurs) and after that I will be off to Pulau Perhentian for the long-awaited island vacation.

I hope there are tickets available since we're only booking them tomorrow.

Island getaway baby!

Take me home, don't leave me alone.

I know I haven't updated about Sunday and all, but before I go into that, I would like to make a few announcements.

-Eamon Sullivan and Michael Phelps belong in the water wearing Speedos.
(I blame Aimee and Sylvien for corrupting me, horrible people)
-I was watching the badminton event last night and they went to a break and they had a recap of Olympic winners (Michael Phelps OMG!) with Magic Rainbow as the background music and I squealed because the song is so fitting for the occasion.
(I know, I know...I should grow up)
-Frank Lampard is staying on for another 5 years, which means he will be there when I get there next year. Thank you, God and so sorry, Lampsy.

*****

Okay, fine. No more Michael Phelps or David Cook talk (for now). Time for a recap of Sunday.

Sunday was the day of my brother's wedding reception. The day was just insane, as was the day before. We sprayed the potpourri basket with scented oil using a syringe. By the time we were done, we were all intoxicated and tired. We did the 'bunga telur' until 3AM. We only went to sleep at 4 in the morning on Sunday.

I woke up three hours later to help mum out with breakfast for the guests and got my stuff ready (since I had to be in the hall the first to see things were in order).

I got ready and waited for the make-up artist to arrive to get my make-up done.

Let me tell you this. I am NOT going to wear make-up that thick again.
I REPEAT: I AM NOT GOING TO WEAR MAKE-UP THAT THICK AGAIN.

I felt like washing all that goo off my face and go there like our 'pasty Irishman' friend, but it was his day and I didn't want to ruin it.


The 'bersanding' ceremony began at 1:15PM. Guess what happened? We forgot to fill up the 'bunga rampai' and rose water for the ceremony. I could've sworn my mother turned into fifty shades of pale and almost cried at that point. I had to console her and tell her to relax.

I met this wonderful person who celebrated her birthday on Sunday.
Yes, it's the famous Aimee Lee Kit-Ee (why got so many 'ee' in your name ah?) who likes MCR and running around naked. She's very pretty, by the way.

After years of stalking blogs, chatting online and sending cards (birthdays, Chinese New Year, Hari Raya and other festivities) via snail mail, we met.

I know...strange way to celebrate your birthday, right? I am glad she took time off from kidnapping teaching kids to attend the reception.

At one point, we heard Ashlee Simpson and instantly I told her "I didn't pick this song".

Later I learnt from my Liverpool kawan that the DJ was annoyed with me because my songs were all in English and inappropriate.

Like what my Skizzy told you earlier, he only played my songs in the last hour of the event.

WTF. My father told me to pick the English songs since he told me that the DJ already has MOST of the Malay songs. So I did as I was told.
Side note: My father AND brother said my song choices were way better than what the DJ played, including the Malay songs.

I mean, it's a wedding. You're supposed to play love songs and all that. NOT songs of leaving your lover or cheating on them.
"You know they played Paris Hilton! How inappropriate"
"You mean that song where she wears those shoes and there's that little boy in the video?"
"Yeah, that one"
"How awful"

If I had Hungry Like the Wolf on my playlist, you can say that is highly inappropriate because that song is about sex, giving/receiving a blowjob or anything else in between.

Okay, no talking about sex or blowjobs now. Time for some pictures.


Yes, that was how bad I look in make-up. I can't believe anyone called me 'charming', 'gorgeous', 'pretty' or anything else in between. People are really good with euphemisms, aren't they?

Overall, the event went well, minus the minor hiccups before that. Food was good (I don't know, I didn't eat despite being pestered by my Russian mafia queen). The company, save a few, were wonderful. I didn't take that many pictures because I was too busy running around and almost tripped on my dress.

There was a funny incident before the event ended though. I was talking to my aunt and I see this person in a ManUre jersey smiling at me.
"You ingat I lagi tak?"
*am I supposed to?*
"Macam ingat tapi tak tahu"
"Ni kawan Rizal...selalu datang rumah masa you kecil"
"Oh ni Faiz yang tinggi tu kan?"
"Bukan"
"Ni Azril yang pelakon tu kan...pakcik you tinggal dekat kawasan flat tu...you selalu pergi sana kan?"
"Yeah"
"Macam mana boleh lupa I? I selalu datang rumah you, main dengan you"

The only person I remembered playing with was my old neighbour named Patrick (I heard that I used to go to his house all the time to play with him, my mother says he was my boyfriend at that time).

I told my brother that I don't remember his friend at all.
"He remembers you, he always asks about you. Not just today, but whenever I see him"

Creepy, right? But he's good-looking (I don't usually say Malay boys are good-looking, you know that) albeit being a ManUre fan.

So here are my thank yous and apologies.
Thank you for all who attended.
Thank you for all who helped (Liverpool kawan, Fishy, Russian mafia queen, the two Ns and the little nieces).
Thank you for all who gave gifts and cash and cards.
Thank you to Skizzy, May and the 12AM pillow talk ex for picking the songs albeit they weren't played much.

Sorry to the Russian mafia queen for not eating, I know you're worried with my sunken cheeks but I am not losing any weight and I am no longer skipping meals.
Sorry for not talking to most of you because I kept tripping on my dress and trying not to fall down and break a bone.
Sorry for the thick make-up you had to see me in. I swear I will go back to my 'pasty Irishman' ways.

I mean, don't you like this better?

Ya, I know. I like making fun of myself.

Pasty Irishman wins all.