He didn't stand a chance, they said.

You know you're getting old when kids complain to you saying that three theatre screens in a shopping mall are not enough.

When I was 5, there was only one movie hall. My first ever 'going to a movie theatre' moment was watching the first Aladdin movie in some part of Central Market.
I didn't even care if we only had one movie hall in that area.

We never truly are thankful for what we have, are we?


I have a picspam for you! People with slow Internet connection (I'm looking at you, May), you might want to skip this. I wouldn't want to kill you by making you wait for pics to load.

Patience is not my strongest suit. I am horribly impatient.

Strangely enough, when I had to wait 73 days for this album, I learnt that patience and I could be best friends after all.

So bloody worth the wait.

*glee* VERY MOTHER-FLIPPING BASKET OF COOKIES KIND OF HAPPY, THANKS FOR ASKING.

Inside the booklet.







(this is proof that I bought him HAHA)


Skizzy thinks this looks as demonic as the eye tattoo on his wrist. This is not so bad as compared with the eye tattoo, okay?


Track list.


Love. That is all I have to say.


Time of My Life doesn't fit with the rest of the album. Seriously, as much as I love magic rainbows and dancing leprechauns, this song feels a little out of place.
(The voice that captured America, OMG HAHAHAHA!)


May, if you can see this, I DID IT FOR YOU!

Short review/comment on the songs on the album.
01. Declaration: I love the song, it makes me want to dance or even scream along while I'm in the car.
02. Heroes: It is what it says it is. I've always said that my heroes are the random ordinary everyday people around me, and this song song echoes my sentiments to a T. Oh these heroes come and go, you're still standing.
03. Light On: My mother's favourite song (I'm only saying this because she knows how to sing this more than Crush). I remember getting all excited because "OMG NEW SONG!" but then, I don't feel a thing for it now. I don't like it, I don't hate it.
04. Come Back to Me: One of my favourites. I can imagine if this becomes a single, it would've have a weird yet cheesy theme to it. I don't know, lately I just find myself annoyed about predictable music video themes.
05. Life on the Moon: I love this song. I know it's about him and the whole Idol rollercoaster ride, but in our lives, we have come to a point in our lives where an event took place and changed you. This line "I'm alone in this crowded room" in particular, reminded me of my high school memories of being discriminated for having mixed blood.
06. Bar-ba-sol: You want a kind of rockstar swagger off the album? THIS SONG IS IT. The drums and guitar on this are just fantastic. This is the kind of song you want to play when you're pole-dancing or even thinking about stripping to (I am merely quoting my shameless Skizzy).
07. Mr. Sensitive: This song is about him. I wasn't crazy about this song at first, but after a couple of spins, it grew on me.
08. Lie: My favourite track right here. Really, really heartbreaking song. I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart.
09. I Did It For You: I like the catchy chorus, but that's about it.
10. Avalanche: This song took a while to grow on me, I have to say I like it.
11. Permanent: I love this song so much I skip it almost every time it gets played. This song is personal to me and I find myself crying to it almost all the time (hence the skipping). I feel like the more I listen to it, the more I become emotionally attached to it and because of that, the song loses its meaning.
12. A Daily AntheM: I like. Would you sing my song at the top of your lungs?
13. Kiss on the Neck: Eh, what's this? Secret bonus track 8 minutes after A Daily AntheM? I love it! The song is full of swagger, that's why. May and I maintain that this song is about vampires. Skizzy thinks it's about someone else.
14. Time of My Life: I still act like a giddy school girl when I hear this song, no lie. However, like I said before, this song is so out of place among the other songs on the record. Feels a little...off.
15. Breathe Tonight [*Wal-mart bonus track]: May knows what I think of this song, therefore I will not say anything.
16. My Last Request [*iTunes bonus track]: The only song that saved me while waiting. It's Dave favourite song and he says it reminds him of me. Hmmm...

I should be studying instead of being here. Until later!

Can you breathe tonight?

Because we grew up to this band, we found it highly amusing to see them dance like that.

Watch it because I said so it's freaking hilarious.

Some things NEVER change.


Randomly, mate/my champion asked David Cook in this live chat (yes, we joined the chat because we were bored and it was also our way of telling him we do not have the album) if he watched soccer. He said he watched it occasionally and his favourite teams were KC Wiz and Arsenal of the English Premier League.
Fantastic. He knows football. THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE OMG. He is ten kinds of awesome for knowing an English team and also for not mentioning Manchester United as his favourite team because if he did, May, Nisha and I would have knocked some sense into his head.
Now he and my dad can have intelligent discussions about Arsenal and their players and their style of play. But my dad doesn't know who David Cook is.

My dad bought an Arsenal shirt for himself but gave it to my mother in hopes of making her ditch the Devils and supports the Gunners. She wore it once when she ran out of clean clothes to wear and in the same week, ManUre lost. She blamed the shirt brought her bad luck.

"Ma, since you're not going to wear the T-shirt anymore, can I have it?"
"What for?"
"I want to give it to my TV boyfriend if he comes here. He is an Arsenal fan, after all"
-.-"
"I'm going to make him pay for it"

I better go to bed. Long day tomorrow. Rawr.

Your fairy tale couldn't get much worse.

Earlier, I was eating a piece of murukku while listening to 'Permanent' (Yes, some lovable being gave me the link to download the songs. I HAVE THE PRECIOUS! That doesn't mean I WILL NOT BUY THE ALBUM!).

Bad idea.

I remembered how he joked about marrying me one day.
"Roxanne, some years from now when I propose to you under a star-lit sky, instead of putting the ring in cakes and seeing you choke to death, I'd attach it to a murukku"

I laughed at him for saying such a ridiculous thing because let's face it, there was no way he was going to get a ring through a piece of murukku.

He dared to dream, that young man.

That was 7 years ago. A year after that, he passed away.

Of course, the first cut is the deepest. There's not a day I don't think of him, sometimes I even see him in my sleep, talking to me.


Sometimes I think that if he were still alive, I doubt if he would still be with the person that I am now.


Listening to 'Permanent' just made the floodgates break loose. At one point of the song, I had to go out of my room, hide in the toilet and have a good cry.

I just miss him, that's all. The song hurts.


Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry.

I'll take you just the way you are.

I created a new rhyme in my slightly unwell state of mind.

My heart is like a map,
my nose is like a tap.

Okay, I know. Lame attempt in making you people laugh. Jeebus, you people are so hard to please!



I'm feeling alright, albeit my nose is a little stuffy (but the good part is that it's no longer running like a tap).

It was a little funny telling people how cold I felt when they were literally melting under the sweltering heat.


We had an online meeting and I mentioned that I heard the newest Boyzone (WHAT? THEY'RE STILL AROUND?!! HAHA) song and we began reminiscing the good old days of our younger days.

We look back now and cringe at little random things like "OMG TO THINK WE REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE LINE! I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME!!!".

It's nice to know no matter how far apart we can be at times, we can always be geeks and talk about this and other random things when we get back.

My dad once said that he and another man became friends through strange circumstances.

Three of the best friends (including the one who has passed away) started out being enemies with me. Years went by and we became friends under really strange circumstances.

I feel blessed that we're friends. They may corrupt me and all, but I love them.

When we were young, we had crushes, strange tastes in music, and random interests.

Now, we still have all those things and more. We have that bond between us. We know when the other isn't feeling too good. We know what makes the other tick. We know what pisses the other off.

We know what we know.

10 years down the road, we can watch random things like this and laugh, because it just makes us reminisce the times we were at that age and the crazy things we'd say or do for someone on the telly we fell in love with.

Thank you for making me better and taller in more ways than one.

Friends sempiternally.

My words they sing you their song.

Hello you.

Today, you would be 22 years and 2 weeks old.

You would have been, anyway.

There is not a day that I don't think of you. You know what they say, the first cut is the deepest. I always feel you watching me, in a non-stalker kind of way. Making sure I do the right thing. Laughing at my mistakes.

Sometimes, I think if you were still here, you'd say "This is the voice of your conscience speaking, you are not fat" to my face.

And I will half-mindedly say "I believe you".

I don't know if you know this, I have changed a little. You know what change does to me. It makes me afraid and awkward. But I deal with it just alright.

I am sure you must be immensely proud to hear that I do not use the violent approach of throwing things around when I am angry. Yes, be proud. Your little girl is much wiser now to know that violence doesn't cure cancer, solve problems or fix her financial situation.

I like rock songs more than I used to when I was 14. Shocker, I know. Oh well, I suppose a good change would do me some good. Not really into the whole pop-boyband stuff anymore. I'm too old and too cool for that now. Haha.

I know I am not speaking for myself when I say I miss you. We all do. Your wit and caring self is what we miss the most about you. Well, that and the fact you beat the crap out of my Hindi-speaking skills.

I watched the movie "Wit" a couple of weeks ago and I thought about you. Well, my initial thought was "Why in the world did I choose to wear my purple eyeliner today?". I only said that because I was sobbing thinking about what you went through. The pain of it all made me cry. So now I know better than to wear eyeliners to school in case my lecturers decide to show me movies that make me think of you which will make me cry.

My hair is longer now than what you'd remember before. It's way past my shoulders but above the lower back. I am resigned to be known as the 'langsuir queen' because one day I washed my hair and didn't dry it, and my dad thought that I just auditioned for the role of a vampire. Yes, you may laugh at me.

How are things with me? I'm doing good, not that great, but I'll survive. One more year until I graduate and then, what happens? I don't know. I may work, I may not...one thing's for sure, I will continue to study. Not just at a university level, I learn new things everyday. You never truly stop learning.

On a relationship front, I have been single for the last three years. Purely by choice. I'm not sad, I don't feel left out. I have other things to worry about like 'Will my hair be blue by the end of the season because of that bet?'.

I have so much to say but I will take forever just to do that. You know I have a tendency of rambling like an idiot before I finally come to my point because I get nervous and sweaty and all that when I have something important or random to say to you.

It happened again. Haha. Sorry.

I love you, sempiternally (favourite new word!). Nothing can change what you mean to me or the one year of happiness you gave me.

Thank you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I am sorry.
Take care.

I will refrain myself from saying 'goodbye' because it is so trite so I'll just end it by saying 'until later'.

ABYB,
-RH-

This is the time of my life.

This post shall be updated when someone else decides to be generous with gifts.

Excuse my cheesy title. My 21st was indeed the time of my life.

So what happened?
My best friend from secondary school called me up at midnight and lamented about the fact she has to wait until December to turn legal. It was incredibly nice of her to call me up from the library of her university since she was studying for my finals, she never fails to call me up at midnight on my birthday. We had a falling out for about a year in 2005 and I'm eternally thankful that we're back on good terms again.

After that, my 17 years and her cousin called me up and made an awful rendition of Light On and Crush, they were mucking up the lyrics! I couldn't help but laugh really loudly, which resulted in myself getting a slap from my mother for being too loud. Yeah, I got slapped by my mother a few minutes into my moments of being 21. Let's not talk about that because it makes the three of us feel horribly awkward. Thank you nonetheless, for being there and making me laugh to prevent the tears from rolling down and telling me what to do when it did and my pressure dropped.

Anyways, the whole morning of my birthday, I refused to see anyone. I made a dash to the bathroom, took a shower and headed back into my room. and stayed in there for what seemed like forever. I was bitter, okay. My birthdays in the past have never been outstanding, I always end up being miserable and grumpy. I came down only when everyone was ready to head out to visit my relatives. That was at 1:24PM, the time I was born, and my dad wishes me at only this time and not earlier or later than that. He wished me and the rest followed. I don't think I shook hands with my mother because I was very upset.

The first place we went to was my Mak Ngah and Mak Su's place. I have been craving for her chicken rendang (that's where my mother got her recipe from) and her kuah kacang. By far, the best kuah kacang ever. It so happens my Mak Su and I share the same birthday. We had fun teasing my Mak Ngah. Poor auntie. Haha. By this time, I felt better. Grumpy baby walrus was nowhere to be seen.

Then we headed out to my Mak Andak's house. We had a good laugh too.

After that, we went over to an old family friend's house. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing she forgot my birthday. Every year, she used to give RM100 in the birthday card she posted and that stopped for a while, and when my brother got married, she gave me RM100 too. One thing about this auntie is that she is super generous. Way too generous. She gave me RM50 as my duit Raya. I'm not so greedy-lah, I don't shamelessly tell people "It's my birthday today, give me extra money please". I am not so forward =/

Then we had dinner in Victoria Station in Medan Damansara. Every year my brother plans on calling the staff to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me (if you tell them it's your birthday, they sing for you), but it never materialises (because I don't fancy the idea of some random person singing happy birthday to me...unless of course, he is THE one and only David Cook).

I had fun, it may not have been a great birthday but I had fun regardless.

Anyways, let's take a look at the gifts and cards then, shall we?

This is what I got from my parents.


Say hello to Andy, my new iPod nano. So darn pretty, kan?

I'm not allowed to use him until the 18th because that when my exams will be over and done with.




This is the card the family gave me. Yes, my brother and his wife signed this card too. I'm their daughter too, apparently. Does anyone else think that my brother's signature looks like it says David instead of Rizal?

Aimee Lee Kit-Ee/woman with so many 'eees' in her name sent me a card. Next time, you use eagles, okay? Pos Malaysia fails us again.


Aimee ah, I showed my dad your card like you asked me to and he says he likes your handwriting better.
-.-' He says mine is all disjointed, something about it not being connected or written in cursive handwriting. I like my handwriting, okay, thank you.

This pretty box came from the mate. Randomly, I didn't know how to open the box and Yas said to pull the lid up and that's when we found out how to open the box. I am so stupid, I tell you.

What's inside, you ask?

No-lah, how can you fit David Cook inside there? You people are too imaginative-lah. So much free time, is it? Come do my assignment for me, please?

I squealed when I saw these things inside that pretty box.

Chelsea pencil box.

Chelsea mug. I so happy can die, thank you.
Thank you, mate! *hugs and squeezes you*

Skizzy, upon hearing the bad start to my day, found something that she knew would cheer me up.

"For you, on your 21st...you deserve this because you have to wait another 42 days for the album"

THIS = ONE DROOL-WORTHY BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER.

The revelation of THAT particular tattoo leaves me oh-so very happy I'm doing cartwheels now.

Oral fixation, much?

MY BOYFRIEND IS MY MUSE! HAHAHA! Thank God for that Guitar Hero advert.

Favourite photo ever.

I have come to a conclusion that this man is a robot manufactured by an evil scientist to render people speechless and seduce innocent beings into having horrible, horrible thoughts.

Yes, you have succeeded in seducing me, now quit the smirking already! Let me enjoy the remaining bit of dignity I have left in myself. Don't taunt me!

I love you, woman. I did get him on my birthday after all. HAHA!

Thank you so much everyone for the gifts and wishes through Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, online, LiveJournal, text messages, snail mail and e-mails. I love you all sempiternally. Here's to more birthdays and happy occasions.

Right, I'm exhausted and my double whammy of aches isn't getting any better so I better go to bed.

Words will never take my place, when you know why I'm leaving.

I am still alive, thank you for asking. I just didn't feel like there was a need to update the last few days.

I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I just needed some time for myself because I felt like a big change was coming in my life. A really good change, and usually when changes happen too fast for my liking, I tend to put life on pause to evaluate the situation. If you know me like a book, you'd know that I hate drastic changes. I can take changes well, just not the drastic ones. I need to learn, I know.

Do not assume things just by reading the things I type in the first paragraph like what my father's former English teacher used to do when he marks his students' essays (if your first paragraph is up to his standards, you'll get 50/100...if not, you get a ZERO). Read word-for-word, even if I have a tendency to sound like a deranged fangirl.

I am shallow at times, I know. That does NOT make me completely brainless or stupid.


Saturday was, by far, one of those days I felt like I have truly exhaled and not feel asphyxiated at all. I had fun with my extended family. You cannot imagine what it felt like to be in my shoes, counting down the hours to my impending death before the dinner took place. It turned out the exact opposite when I got there and plopped my sorry derriere on the chair. I found myself smiling, laughing, camwhoring and doing rather silly things. It was like all of us were a family again. To be the queen of all things corny and cheesy, I shall use a line of my so-called favourite song and say that I had the time of my life.

Things are going well with me. I feel good that I have stuck to my schedule like I promised myself that I would. So, au revoir, senorita procrastinator. Hah.

Light On is a song that speaks to me in more ways than one. Every single time I hear it, I feel like there is a different meaning attached to it. I have a few meanings attached to that song as well. Personal ones, to be exact. I know a lot of people either do not like him and his guts OR the song, I don't care too much. As far as I know, I love the song and I cannot wait for the album.

There is another week until I turn 21. Not only am I getting older, I also am getting wiser. Yes, my wisdom tooth is growing fully now. I cannot smile, eat, laugh, talk or sing much without flinching in pain. I consider that as a birthday present to myself. Being wiser and smarter. Hah.

Eid is in another two days time and I personally am not ready for it. I feel like I'm not in the mood to celebrate Eid. All of us haven't fully recovered from the wedding events and what-nots. I know I haven't gotten the full rest I really need. Besides that, even if I only have classes from Tuesdays to Thursdays, most of my classes are in the evenings and I have assignments and my thesis paper to worry about. I have tonnes of things to do and so little time. What's worse is that my midterms are also around the corner and I have to study. Sigh.

I will not be updating anytime soon, so I'm going to wish everyone SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN; and HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

The next update will probably be the obligatory birthday post. Well, that's what I think, anyway.

Try to leave a light on when I'm gone, something I rely on to get home...

Until later =)

Confessions.

I am still on hiatus, just not for now. I am here because I just want to let this out so bad:
I love my mother, so much I am writing a letter I know she will never read.

Dear ma,

Maybe two years from now, I will be flying off to stalk pretty boys or study or as we both are very well-known for being multi-taskers in the family, I might do both. Maybe for a week you will come with me because you want to tell frumpy grumpy fat man Fergie how unbelievably dashing he is to you.

You have never ever judged me for what I do. I could be very frank with you and yet you tell me like how you see it. You are by far, one of the strongest persons I have ever come across or have the privilege of knowing. I now understand how it is to be in your shoes when someone's temper flares. When I was young, I always took his side because I was just too young to understand and comprehend things. Now, the more I see it, the more I felt like beating the young me for most of the times that I was being cruel to you and only being nice to you when I want something. I am sorry I took you for granted then, it was never my intention to hurt you or add on to the hurt you were already feeling.

As the years passed after you retired, we've grown closer and we understood each other better. You would tolerate my undying love for random famous boys yet you will always say I am crazy. There aren't that many mothers I know who will call their kids up at 4 in the morning to say things like "Oh hi, your Chelsea boys are winning 2-0, come down!" or even "Oh hi, Ellen is interviewing David Cook now. Come down!" like what you did this morning. At that point I was thinking, "I wonder if other people's mothers are like her" because most mothers I know either don't know about their children's objects of affection, know but don't care about their children's objects of affection, or pretend and ignore about their children's objects of affection.

But you. You tell me about who's on the TV and make it a point to tell me about what you saw and how hilarious it was. You will watch football matches with me and laugh at the most random things possible, like someone being tackled or being carded by the referee. We have our secret codes and silly glee faces ever. We share too many stories together, in fact we share a lot of things together. Except for a sense of direction, for which mine beats yours into a pulp.

When I first listened to Light On at 4AM today, all I ever thought about was how much the last couple of days were emotional for me. I watched the movie Wit and it made me cry to think about the pain and suffering two people closest to me had to go through when they were battling cancer. I was just 13 and 15 when they passed away. Again, I was too young to understand things. At 13, all I thought of were studies, dressing up, boys, boybands and other silly, insignificant things. Not cancer. Or death.

After a couple of rounds of listening to it and concluding how much I love it albeit sounding a little overdone at the chorus part, you came in and I asked you what you thought of it. You told me you were feeling sleepy and will tell me once you feel more awake. It then struck me that the words to this song are exactly how I feel for you when I leave KL. I know that's only going to happen in two years time, but like you know, I like to think about rather strange and random thoughts about the past, present and future. This had to be one of those thoughts. At the same time I was thinking about this, you said "This song started off so slowly at first...but as I keep on listening to it, I feel it's very touching and I enjoy it".

I then told you "When I leave two years from now, play this song so that it will remind you of me and all the things I've done. The times I have countlessly irritated, annoyed and pissed you off. The times I have cried to you when I had no one else to talk to or when I fell sick because of my blood pressure sinking rock bottom. The jokes and the silly things we would do together, like scribbling your refusal to donate to my 'David Cook album fund' on my whiteboard. The times you would call me so early in the morning to tell me some boy I like is on the telly. The things or food I buy for you from wherever it is I went to. Leave the light on for me when I go, okay?".

All you said was "I will. I definitely will play this song to think of you". I started crying because I finally understand this song. The song has different meanings attached to it. This is how I see the song for me: it's how I feel about leaving people closest to me, especially family members.

And guess what, ma?

It's you who is closest.

You came and laid down with me on my tiny bed after listening to the song a gugillion times (Sorry bout that, I had that on replay) and you knew I was crying and you told me "It's okay". You fell asleep soon after and I continued crying, thinking about our relationship. It's not exactly a pretty one, ma. I feel so horrible for some of the things I have said and done to you, I feel I am not worthy of your love.

I am truly sorry for the times I snapped back at you.
I am truly sorry for the times I ignored a request from you.
I am truly sorry for the times I have been an ass to you (which, of course, occurs most of the times, I guess).

I am truly sorry.

Last week, when it seemed like everyone in the house hated me, you saw the tears in my eyes and all you said was "Chin up, no point in being upset over idiots like them". You never sympathised, you empathised with me. I know how squeamish you get when people hug you, but you gave me a hug that I could never pay back in cash. It felt so good and relieving and I felt like I could just exhale once again.

We will always have our jokes, our tears and fights, and guess what, ma?

I love you sempiternally. I know I don't tell you this as often as I should, but I really do.

You make me an extra pot of coffee when I am pulling an all-nighter to study or complete my assignments.
You wrap all my books and even charge me for it, but I don't mind paying 50 cents per book wrapped, it's my way of giving back for everything you have done for me. It's not much, I know, but it's the least I can do.
You say the most random things because you know how much it will cheer me up on the most awful day possible.

I just want you to know that you are probably the most awesome mother any girl can ever have. Not many mothers I know watch everything I watch on the telly or make an attempt to be interested in the things I like, or even tell me "EH WAKE UP! LAMPARD JUST SCORED! COME DOWN NOW!" at rather weird hours of the day.

I just sayang you too much it hurts to think I'll be leaving you here soon.

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

Just leave a light on when I'm gone for me, okay? You won't feel that alone if you do that. There's the option of MSN too, but yeah. "What goes up, never comes down", haha! Only you'd understand this along with me, ma. No one else comes close. Nothing else compares.

I love you.

Lots of love, hugs, kisses and magic rainbows,
~R~, your daughter.

I just had to let that out because it is how I feel not only right now, but maybe for a long time.

I'm not going to be back here to post any time soon. I still am trying to figure out how to deal with the good changes in myself that I am facing, as you would've read in my earlier post.

Sing it with me.

Dear Dang Sylvien @ mate,

I hope you haven't melted after seeing Michael Phelps' abs of steel.

Where are you? Why are you hiding from me? Are you secretly posting up that ugly gayboy's poster you took down recently and not telling me?


No longer convinced my house is possessed,
-me-

*****

So yes, I know I was being paranoid. My house is not possessed.

Are you happy I confessed to being paranoid already?

We should throw a party.

*****

Has the world not seen enough of Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers?

I feel like turning my TV and radio off when I hear all their songs. Maybe it's just me.

I was practising my guitar yesterday and this old Westlife song was being played on the radio. It made me cringe thinking "I used to listen to this and love the music they make, oh my God". I must add that I still remember the words to that cheesy song. Shameful but true. And I hate it when I go to Parkson in OneU, they play the same Westlife album over and over again. I mean, isn't there another CD they can pop in? I'd be shaking my head everytime I go there and my mother knows all too well.
"I'm not asking them to play the other half of you-know-what-I-call-them. Just play something different"

Maybe if I was 10 or something, I'd believe that the world revolved around Miley Cyrus, High School Musical and the Jonas Brothers and idolise them sempiternally. But sadly, I am not 10, but 20 and horribly old.

I guess we just go through a phase in life where we get exposed to different kinds of music. I like the different genres of music except maybe a bit of techno and Japanese music. I find the resurgence of old boybands highly amusing too. Take That is fine because eventhough their music sounds very, very morose, I can tolerate that.

Do we still get to call them boybands since they are old in their mid-30s and they are no longer considered as boys?
Then again, manband would sound very odd.

We all go through a phase where we experiment the different kinds of music there are out there. I listened to rap when I was 13, then I started listening to rock music when I was sixteen or so (rock became a huge part in my life when I turned 18), but pop played a major part of my life because I grew up with that music (Michael Jackson was one, he was after all, the King of Pop).

If you asked me now how much of pop music I listen to, I'd tell you that it's a very limited playlist when it comes to pop. Well, maybe it's because all my pop songs are stashed in my dead PC. Haha.

But still, I cannot take it when all I hear on the radio are these artistes that come out from the Disney Channel. I don't like the Jonas Brothers because they made a remake of this song I liked called Year 3000 from Busted (I blame May for all the Brit music influences in my life). The original song itself is hilarious, but then they changed it and I didn't quite like their version.

Yes, I realise I am rambling so I might as well shut up.

*****

Say what you want about Magic Rainbow, but the more I hear it, the more I like it. Contrary to what Skizzy said earlier in one post about my hating the song, I like the song a lot more than I used to, it's sort of grown on me.

Go on and make fun of me. I dare you.

*****

My mother is so amusing it makes me cry thinking about next year or the year after that.

I know she'll come with me (she wants to stalk old grumpy frumpy Fergie) and all, but still. The thought of leaving home does scare me.

Almost everyday, she will come and ask me "Do you have a boyfriend?" and everytime I say no, she says "You will tell me when you have one, right?".

One day, while waiting for her to pick me up, I was just talking to a guy friend of mine who was also waiting for his parents. Almost two hours after we came home, she came into my room and asked me "That guy you were talking to just now...is he your boyfriend?".

-.-' Every guy I talk to now is my boyfriend-lah, is it?

"No, he's a guy who is my friend whom I see as an older brother. That's it. Ma, don't worry, if I do have a boyfriend, which will be very much later in life, I will tell you first, okay? And I will bring him home to meet the both of you instead of having a shotgun wedding"

She laughed and nodded. She knows my take on my brother's wedding so it's all good.

But she does not think my boyfriend is sexy (this came after a long and lengthy conversation about Avril's concert being postponed or cancelled or whatever that's going to happen to it, and what would happen if the said boyfriend wanted to come here).

How dare she say that. Hmmph. Boo her.


And today she was surprised that my phone bill was less than hers. Mine went down by a whole 50%.
"How can that happen? It's a miracle. What did you do?"

Just got to love her.


I need to get back on my guitar now. Toodles.

The moon and the stars were the gifts you gave.

I was cleaning my rack which is temporarily in my father's room and I saw some notes that made me laugh and cringe and cry all in one go.

All the stupid inside jokes and random crushes from high school.
All the hidden meanings of the things people who still matter to you after so many years wrote in your books/notes.
All the silly letters I used to write to YOU about "DID YOU SEE THE F1 RACE LAST NIGHT? OMG MASSA IS SO CUTE!" and "ALEX YOONG BOLEH! MALAYSIA BOLEH!".

Waves of nostalgia hit you and all you want to say to those people are just words of gratitude and love.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

*****

I was watching Benji the Hunted the other day on Disney Channel. I couldn't help but squeal looking at those cougar cubs and the dog.

I swear I almost cried when one of the cubs got taken away by the eagle.
Aiyoh, you pansy...a cub gets eaten also you shed tears. Drama drama drama -.-'

I was told by a few people who were watching it with me that I was EXACTLY like the black cougar cub.

*after seeing the black cougar cub trying to scare the big bear*
"OMG XANNE, IT REALLY IS LIKE YOU!"
"How so?"
"See it goes acting like a hero trying to scare the bear which is a lot bigger than him, but then the bear freaks him out and it runs away and hides in the bushes. It's so like you when you're picking a fight with me"
"That's a lie and you know it!"
"Okay, fine, but did you see the part it comes out of its home? It's so mischievious and stubborn like you!"
"That part of it is true. I know I'm cute like the cougar cub"
"Who said anything about you being cute now huh?"
"Oh. You, Skizzy, are dead"

But in all seriousness, the little black cougar cub is a bit like me.

May, is that a sign or what?

*****

Yesterday, I found out that I stole a book from my old high school library.

Okay, I didn't exactly steal a book. I just didn't return the book I borrowed from the library in 2003 or 2004.

I am a bibliomaniac.

*****

Aimee, I know why the first card I sent you didn't reach you.

My mother used a 20 cents stamp instead of a 30 cents one.

Epic fail -.-'

(How do I know of this? The card got sent back to my house and they circled the stamp)

FAIL.
FAIL.
FAIL.

*****

Skizzy, help me. I think I'm going to hell with all the squealing I'm doing.

It's not even funny anymore, it's driving me crazy!


HELP!

Your aura is incredible.

Okay, I saw something completely wonderful on YouTube, it made me squeal like an idiot.

Then again, maybe I am one.

To Skizzy the Scouser, you know what I mean. Are you convinced, by the way?

*****

Remember this post?

Yeah well, my mother has a reply to that.


See? Even my mother doesn't want to donate for a good cause.
*wails*

I am trying to come up with a brilliantly ingenious plan to steal money from people seek donations for my fund.

*****

The Russian mafia queen is back and she didn't even tell me!

I miss her and I can't wait for this weekend!

I am tired, but we're putting up some final touches for the gifts and such. There will be photos of stupid people doing stupid things.


On the downside, I think I have a sore throat and slight flu.

Of all the times to fall sick, now?

*trying to sound sarkie in the best Mr.Burns' voice possible*
Excellent.

Make it up as you go along.

Hello world. I haven't run off to Timbuktu or Bali and married someone.

I was resting. I have been online but just too tired to update or even make a short recap of the wedding on Sunday.

The point is, I am here now, after constant pestering by my pole-dancing Scouser, ready to give you a recap of the things that transpired on Sunday.


We all went to bed at 2AM that Sunday morning, all of us were supposed to wake up at 6, since we were leaving home at 8.

Guess who brilliantly turned off the alarm once it rang at 6, only to wake up at 7:15?
(no cookies shall be given if you guessed it right, just a pat on the head)

So yours truly ran out to the bathroom and bathed like it was her last bath and her life depended on it (which was actually the truth).

I put on make-up without looking like a drag queen. I was rather surprised that I looked somewhat decent in make-up.

As you can see, I put on very minimal make-up, I didn't want to end up looking like someone smashed a cake in my face.

I felt very left out when I saw my family donning blue outfits and I was in a green one. Oh well, I like sticking out like a sore thumb. It's what I do best.

But the outfit was so loose, it almost fell off. Don't tell me I lost so much weight in the span of three weeks okay? Freaking impossible.

So, eventually we left at 8:30AM because part of our entourage to Seremban were delayed by the MRR2 problem. On the way to Seremban, it rained. It was raining on my brother's wedding day.

So I grumbled to Mr. 12AM pillow talks about it and he said "God's blessing the wedding, 'hujan rahmat' right?". He was right, I knew it, just that I didn't expect it to rain that much.

I texted my 17 years and asked if I'd see a magic rainbow later because of the rain.
"Woman, don't try to be funny with me"

We were escorted to another house so that my brother could change into a new set of clothes. After that, we went to the mosque for the nikah ceremony.

The imam asked my brother a lot of random questions, it kind of annoyed me. And you know what was worse? KIDS. There were kids running all over the place while I was trying to get decent shots of the ceremony. I almost gave them my death glare or hit them, but I decided against it because I didn't want to leave an infavourable impression on my in-laws.

Suddenly out of nowhere, this huge spider jumped onto my brother's lap, I actually jumped about too because I was scared. It was massive, not the size of a tarantula, but still!


He recited the 'lafaz nikah' in one breath, and they were pronounced husband and wife.






The newlyweds.

Then, my brother and his new wife sought blessings from all that were present including myself.


My father claimed he didn't cry. I believe him.



My mother and the newlyweds cried.
"Why are you crying?!"
"I'm happy"

If I'm happy, I laugh...and that's what I did.



New extension to the family =)



New family and the KL entourage. Perempuan Melayu terakhir, much?


After the ceremony in the mosque, my father, my brother and I went over to the other house for him to get dressed into his other outfit. I wanted to freshen up and see if my gayliner was smudged, and there was no mirror in the house. So I did the next best thing: take a picture of myself and see if there was anything wrong.

At that point I was being vain, my father walked into the room and caught me in the act. I had to explain myself and he understood. Out of curiosity, I asked him a question.
"Did you cry just now?"
"No, usually fathers don't cry when their sons get married, but they cry when their daughters get married"
"So say if I get married, will you cry?"
"Of course, I will!"

Aww...I feel loved. He loves me.

I told my parents not to cry at my wedding, I told them to laugh. They say I'm crazy. Pfft.


Then, we were whisked off to the bride's house for the next ceremony.

This is where I get to bless the couple on the dais. It was done quite haphazardly, the DJ called people to bless the couple in such a random order. He called me to bless the couple but at the same time called a few other people to bless them. I actually didn't want to do it because of the way the DJ was calling out the people to bless the couple.

But eventually, I did bless the couple. Again, it was just a matter of not trying to make a bad impression on the bride's side of the family.

I met an old schoolmate of mine who apparently works with my sister-in-law. Small world, eh?
"OMG HI!"
"HI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"THIS IS MY OFFICE MATE! WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
"THAT'S MY BROTHER!"
"OMG SMALL WORLD!"
"WE LIVE IN THE SAME AREA BUT OF ALL THE PLACES TO MEET?"
"FAR OFF RIGHT?"

I got a little excited seeing a familiar face besides my family, that's all.

We ate and talked, along the way, one of my dad's closest friend's daughter sang for the couple four times (because the DJ insisted she sang). During the second song, my cousin dared me to give her a flower, sort of like a groupie.


Of course, I obliged. Hey, who's going to provide you something to laugh about huh?

Then, the bride and groom started posing for the photographer. Goodness, did we have a laugh over the poses or what!

"Enough of the poses-lah, it's so ridiculous"


I think she wanted to say retarded but she didn't want to offend the photographer.


My niece asked me politely about when will I get married.
"When David Cook comes to KL and proposes to me"
"When I find the right person to get married to"

Sensible answer, right?

Great, now everyone wants to know when and who I am going to marry. My mother already has plans to use the recent hantaran boxes when it comes to my wedding and they've even covered my wedding car (but that itself requires a special entry of its own because the story is too funny).


Before we went back, we got lots of food to take back home; a goodie bag filled with bunga telur, potpourri, and other things; muffins; and God knows what else.

Oi, it was like Hari Raya Aidilfitri, my birthday, Deepavali and Christmas come early!

We had no space in our car to keep the things (what with the hantaran and all). We had to squeeze ourselves into the car.

My father is so hilarious. He went up on the dais and sat there holding the bouquet, and yelled "Oi, doesn't anyone want to take my picture?" and we all couldn't help but laugh and I told my mother to go up and sit next to him while I took the photo for them.

At least he remarried the same lady he got married to 29 years ago and not someone new.

My mother and brother hugged each other before we headed back home.
"Eh, don't cry ah. No drama and tears now"

More pictures HERE and HERE. Too lazy to upload them in my Photobucket account. If you have Facebook, go see the pictures there.

*****

My brother just got back home from Seremban (usually, the groom stays at the bride's place for a few days before their reception in the groom's place) and knocked on my door just to tell me he's home.

He saw some boxes of the hantaran in my room and saw a particular box and asked me what's in there.
"This is your wedding ring box. Here, you can keep it"
*panics and checks ring finger*
"Shit!"
"You left your ring?"
"I LEFT MY RING IN SEREMBAN!!!"
"You stupid idiot!"

God, that is quite fun, calling him an idiot.

You've been married for two days and you've forgotten the ring.

MAJOR EPIC FAIL, DEAR BROTHER OF MINE.


MAJOR.

EPIC.

FAIL.