Warning: Fangirly tendencies up ahead.

I know I speak non-stop about people I love and that pisses (most) people off.

But these videos had me in tears.




Because what I have ALWAYS wanted to see happen, FINALLY HAPPENED.


I know. I sound so fangirly to the point my friends think that my MAIN personality trait is being a fangirl (but you've got to admit, being fangirly GOT ME SOMEWHERE AND SOMETHING ANYWAY).

BUT LOOK AT THAT VIDEO. IF YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND WHY I AM TYPING THIS ALL IN CAPS AND HOW THIS MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME.

These people mean the world to me. I love their music and also their personalities. I have seen, heard, and touched one, while I have spoken, heard, and seen the other.

That moment is something you CANNOT trade for anything in the world.

Not even for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen tickets.

Ever since David did Baba o'Riley on American Idol, all I said to my 18 years was "Hello, it would be epic if they toured together" because like 2 years before David Cook walked into my life, Ryan Star was my hero AND he also sang this song on Rockstar: Supernova (and got eliminated after that but let's not go there now). She scoffed at the idea.

Fast forward to a couple of months later. They are on tour together, sharing the same stage night after night. No one listens to me, as usual.

How do you expect my inner fangirl to NOT go crazy seeing them together?


And seeing that...I have no words.


I am sorry, all I have are just happy tears.

He didn't stand a chance, they said.

You know you're getting old when kids complain to you saying that three theatre screens in a shopping mall are not enough.

When I was 5, there was only one movie hall. My first ever 'going to a movie theatre' moment was watching the first Aladdin movie in some part of Central Market.
I didn't even care if we only had one movie hall in that area.

We never truly are thankful for what we have, are we?


I have a picspam for you! People with slow Internet connection (I'm looking at you, May), you might want to skip this. I wouldn't want to kill you by making you wait for pics to load.

Patience is not my strongest suit. I am horribly impatient.

Strangely enough, when I had to wait 73 days for this album, I learnt that patience and I could be best friends after all.

So bloody worth the wait.

*glee* VERY MOTHER-FLIPPING BASKET OF COOKIES KIND OF HAPPY, THANKS FOR ASKING.

Inside the booklet.







(this is proof that I bought him HAHA)


Skizzy thinks this looks as demonic as the eye tattoo on his wrist. This is not so bad as compared with the eye tattoo, okay?


Track list.


Love. That is all I have to say.


Time of My Life doesn't fit with the rest of the album. Seriously, as much as I love magic rainbows and dancing leprechauns, this song feels a little out of place.
(The voice that captured America, OMG HAHAHAHA!)


May, if you can see this, I DID IT FOR YOU!

Short review/comment on the songs on the album.
01. Declaration: I love the song, it makes me want to dance or even scream along while I'm in the car.
02. Heroes: It is what it says it is. I've always said that my heroes are the random ordinary everyday people around me, and this song song echoes my sentiments to a T. Oh these heroes come and go, you're still standing.
03. Light On: My mother's favourite song (I'm only saying this because she knows how to sing this more than Crush). I remember getting all excited because "OMG NEW SONG!" but then, I don't feel a thing for it now. I don't like it, I don't hate it.
04. Come Back to Me: One of my favourites. I can imagine if this becomes a single, it would've have a weird yet cheesy theme to it. I don't know, lately I just find myself annoyed about predictable music video themes.
05. Life on the Moon: I love this song. I know it's about him and the whole Idol rollercoaster ride, but in our lives, we have come to a point in our lives where an event took place and changed you. This line "I'm alone in this crowded room" in particular, reminded me of my high school memories of being discriminated for having mixed blood.
06. Bar-ba-sol: You want a kind of rockstar swagger off the album? THIS SONG IS IT. The drums and guitar on this are just fantastic. This is the kind of song you want to play when you're pole-dancing or even thinking about stripping to (I am merely quoting my shameless Skizzy).
07. Mr. Sensitive: This song is about him. I wasn't crazy about this song at first, but after a couple of spins, it grew on me.
08. Lie: My favourite track right here. Really, really heartbreaking song. I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart.
09. I Did It For You: I like the catchy chorus, but that's about it.
10. Avalanche: This song took a while to grow on me, I have to say I like it.
11. Permanent: I love this song so much I skip it almost every time it gets played. This song is personal to me and I find myself crying to it almost all the time (hence the skipping). I feel like the more I listen to it, the more I become emotionally attached to it and because of that, the song loses its meaning.
12. A Daily AntheM: I like. Would you sing my song at the top of your lungs?
13. Kiss on the Neck: Eh, what's this? Secret bonus track 8 minutes after A Daily AntheM? I love it! The song is full of swagger, that's why. May and I maintain that this song is about vampires. Skizzy thinks it's about someone else.
14. Time of My Life: I still act like a giddy school girl when I hear this song, no lie. However, like I said before, this song is so out of place among the other songs on the record. Feels a little...off.
15. Breathe Tonight [*Wal-mart bonus track]: May knows what I think of this song, therefore I will not say anything.
16. My Last Request [*iTunes bonus track]: The only song that saved me while waiting. It's Dave favourite song and he says it reminds him of me. Hmmm...

I should be studying instead of being here. Until later!

Can you breathe tonight?

Because we grew up to this band, we found it highly amusing to see them dance like that.

Watch it because I said so it's freaking hilarious.

Some things NEVER change.


Randomly, mate/my champion asked David Cook in this live chat (yes, we joined the chat because we were bored and it was also our way of telling him we do not have the album) if he watched soccer. He said he watched it occasionally and his favourite teams were KC Wiz and Arsenal of the English Premier League.
Fantastic. He knows football. THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE OMG. He is ten kinds of awesome for knowing an English team and also for not mentioning Manchester United as his favourite team because if he did, May, Nisha and I would have knocked some sense into his head.
Now he and my dad can have intelligent discussions about Arsenal and their players and their style of play. But my dad doesn't know who David Cook is.

My dad bought an Arsenal shirt for himself but gave it to my mother in hopes of making her ditch the Devils and supports the Gunners. She wore it once when she ran out of clean clothes to wear and in the same week, ManUre lost. She blamed the shirt brought her bad luck.

"Ma, since you're not going to wear the T-shirt anymore, can I have it?"
"What for?"
"I want to give it to my TV boyfriend if he comes here. He is an Arsenal fan, after all"
-.-"
"I'm going to make him pay for it"

I better go to bed. Long day tomorrow. Rawr.

Your fairy tale couldn't get much worse.

Earlier, I was eating a piece of murukku while listening to 'Permanent' (Yes, some lovable being gave me the link to download the songs. I HAVE THE PRECIOUS! That doesn't mean I WILL NOT BUY THE ALBUM!).

Bad idea.

I remembered how he joked about marrying me one day.
"Roxanne, some years from now when I propose to you under a star-lit sky, instead of putting the ring in cakes and seeing you choke to death, I'd attach it to a murukku"

I laughed at him for saying such a ridiculous thing because let's face it, there was no way he was going to get a ring through a piece of murukku.

He dared to dream, that young man.

That was 7 years ago. A year after that, he passed away.

Of course, the first cut is the deepest. There's not a day I don't think of him, sometimes I even see him in my sleep, talking to me.


Sometimes I think that if he were still alive, I doubt if he would still be with the person that I am now.


Listening to 'Permanent' just made the floodgates break loose. At one point of the song, I had to go out of my room, hide in the toilet and have a good cry.

I just miss him, that's all. The song hurts.


Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry.

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart.

Me: Robbie Keane is made of epic fail.
Brother: Come on, Liverpool!!! Score some more!
Me: Eh, don't be so greedy, can or not? You're already a goal up, what?
Brother: *in a slightly whiny tone* But I want us to have 5-0 scores.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

He envies my boys and their mad scoring streaks.

Cheh, what's the point of that? We always lose on freaking penalties, even with teams of a lower division.

So bloody ridiculous.

Big Phil Scolari needs to train them on how to take proper penalties. Like, seriously.

We can have epic 5-0 wins and all, but drawing and being tossed out on penalties is something that may happen too.

I don't like that alternative much.


I'm watching the match now, and earlier, Scolari angrily showed the "3-0" scoreline with his fingers and made a 'pushing forward' motion with his hands to the boys.

He wants more goals.
-___________-""""""""""""""

I have no words. DON'T BE SO GREEDY, CAN?

Until later. Why is it so cold now?

Don't say a word, I'm okay with the quiet.

I am done with the week of mayhem.
*throws confetti*

I must have been really tired and sleep-deprived, I slept from 4:30PM until 9.

I know. I sleep like a log. Be champions!


I was going to sleep again at 11:30. Nicely tucked in bed, I shut my eyes tight.

But some inconsiderate shit head spoilt it all. He kept honking for over an hour and a half. I have no freaking idea why he did it but it was just plain rude.

It's fucking midnight, sane people are trying to sleep. For once I decided to join the society of the sane by sleeping early, but look what you did.

You've relegated me to community of the undead.

He's stopped already, thankfully, but I can't go back to sleep now because I can't fall asleep with a horribly angry head.

*breathes deeply*


Okay. Let me bore you with random conversations.
Random conversation 01: the best friends in McDonalds'.
"So you agree to Theobroma Tuesday?"
"Theo Walcott?"
"WTF"
"THEOBROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
"Oh, that"
"Yes, that"
"So you're up for it?"
"Yes"
"Awesome"
"So alright, what's the plan?"
"Hmm...Plan one: eat at Fish and Co. Two: eat at Theobroma. Three: buy the shoes with the snake skin print (if it's still there) at Novo. Four: get album. Five: insert earplugs"
"Huh? Earplugs? What for?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"What is?"
"We're getting earplugs for ourselves because we know you will start squealing once you exit Rock Corner with that CD in your hands"
"We want to take precautionary measures to prevent ourselves from going deaf due to incessant fangirly screams"
"HEY!"
*smacks arms*
"True facts, baby"

Random conversation 02: the mother.
"I went to eat in KFC earlier"
"Yerr...so unhealthy. I expected better from you"
"It was one of those days-lah I felt like eating something from KFC!"
"Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier. While I was eating, they played Light On"
"Did you think of me or not?"
"Of course I did!"
"Awwww! You love me! I love you too!"
"I was thinking about how you'd spazz out and start singing or screaming hearing it"


Seriously, do I squeal/scream really bad?

Anyway, I am seriously in love with the drummer boy and his hair. WTF ARE YOU SO PRETTY?



Sudah Tuesday ke belum?
*gets twitchy*

I will speak in Bahasa Malaysia tonight.

Ke hadapan May yang disayangi,

Apa khabar kawanku? Kami berempat di sini sihat-sihat sahaja. Diharapkan saudari May juga sihat.

Di sini, kami berempat ingin memberitahu May suatu berita penting. Pada Selasa minggu hadapan, iaitu 18 November 2008, kami akan mengadakan lawatan sambil belajar ke Bangsar Village. Tujuan lawatan ini adalah untuk menjamu hidangan coklat yang pelbagai, mengenang kembali zaman kanak-kanak kita, berbual-bual mengenai hal kehidupan masing-masing, dan membeli barang-barang keperluan.

THEOBROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEOBROMA. TOLONG KATA YA.

THEOBROMA. COKLAT. MMMM...SEDAP.

THEOBROMA. KASUT. BISKUT. APA LAGI AWAK MAHU???


Tolonglah setuju dengan cadangan untuk mengadakan lawatan ini untuk bergosip dan bergurau dan membeli barang keperluan harian (tolong jangan menafikan ayat ini, saya akan tamparmu). Kami sangat rindu ketawa and gurau sendamu.

Jawapan anda sangat kami hargai.


Yang benar, jauh and merinduimu,
Skizzy, Della, Roxanne, dan Dave.


Tamatlah sudah warkah blog ini yang sangat berwarna-warni. Sekian, salam maklum.

**Please excuse my atrocious attempt of writing in Malay. The last time I wrote such wonderful Malay was when I was in high school, which was like, 4 years ago? And I hardly speak Malay at home unless I'm speaking to my sister-in-law since she speaks to me mostly in Malay**

I'll take you just the way you are.

I created a new rhyme in my slightly unwell state of mind.

My heart is like a map,
my nose is like a tap.

Okay, I know. Lame attempt in making you people laugh. Jeebus, you people are so hard to please!



I'm feeling alright, albeit my nose is a little stuffy (but the good part is that it's no longer running like a tap).

It was a little funny telling people how cold I felt when they were literally melting under the sweltering heat.


We had an online meeting and I mentioned that I heard the newest Boyzone (WHAT? THEY'RE STILL AROUND?!! HAHA) song and we began reminiscing the good old days of our younger days.

We look back now and cringe at little random things like "OMG TO THINK WE REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE LINE! I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME!!!".

It's nice to know no matter how far apart we can be at times, we can always be geeks and talk about this and other random things when we get back.

My dad once said that he and another man became friends through strange circumstances.

Three of the best friends (including the one who has passed away) started out being enemies with me. Years went by and we became friends under really strange circumstances.

I feel blessed that we're friends. They may corrupt me and all, but I love them.

When we were young, we had crushes, strange tastes in music, and random interests.

Now, we still have all those things and more. We have that bond between us. We know when the other isn't feeling too good. We know what makes the other tick. We know what pisses the other off.

We know what we know.

10 years down the road, we can watch random things like this and laugh, because it just makes us reminisce the times we were at that age and the crazy things we'd say or do for someone on the telly we fell in love with.

Thank you for making me better and taller in more ways than one.

Friends sempiternally.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired.

As if waking up with a toothache and a fever, and my dad's trusty Carlo (Yes, I named my dad's car, that doesn't make me crazy) breaking down on Tuesday; Chelsea losing on Wednesday; and my slipping onto the tiles of my college on Thursday weren't enough to mark my miserable week.

I am now unwell. My nose is like a running tap. It's disgusting. The fever is coming and going. I am downing Panadol tablets like a crack addict. Panadol soluble tastes awful, by the way.

My immune system just HAD to go down on me a few days before to an important week.
(no-lah, it's not THAT highly auspicious week yet)

I have three assignments/campaigns to do next week. I need to get my slides done by tonight so I can send it to my group members.

Damn perfect timing to get unwell, right?

My mother told me to go to bed and take the day off.
Easy for her to say that.


You know what? Screw it.

I'm going to watch this and teach myself to play the song.


Oh yeah, this should be fun!

I am not a slut, Cheongsam Lover.

Hello all, in case I don't post anything interesting here for your perusal anytime soon, it means two things.
01. I am tied up with assignments. I should be free by next Friday. My next assignment is due in December, but still.
02. I am experiencing a triple whammy of pains. Headaches, toothache and the latest, a muscle sprain.

How did the last one happen? Funny story, really.
Well, okay. It's not even the slightest bit funny.

I initially had to go to college at 12, but since Fishy said she thought of coming early at 10 to discuss our assignment together and my mother had a doctor's appointment, so I thought I would go early to college.

I reached there at 8:45 and shook my parents' hands and left. As I reached the lobby, the lift that was going up was about to close. The cleaning lady who at that time was mopping the floor, told the person inside to hold on as she saw me approaching the lift. I walked a little faster because I didn't want the people inside the lift to wait for me.

And I slipped.

Like I stepped on a banana skin.

And fell.

And landed on the right side of my body.

I sat on the floor, wincing in pain, using everything in me not to cry. I sat there, not so much in pain, but more of in total shock. It took a while for me to realise that I slipped.

As I fell, the only thing that went through my mind was "Please let me not fall on my posterior and hit my head hard on the floor. I don't want to be a vegetable so young in life!".

People just stood there stunned. No one helped, not even the security guards (I'm going to cease seeking their help from now on). Well, one girl did come out of the lift and carried my jacket for me -.-'

I was just rubbing my thigh when I got to the floor I wanted to go to. I hesitated to call my mother because she would tell my dad and being the hypochondriac he is, he might just ask the doctor to stab me with needles just to confirm that I was fine.

But I called anyway.

I told her what happened and asked her what to do next since she had a fall two weeks ago, which gave her left thigh quite a bad bruise.

I almost cried while texting the mate and she came up to check up on me, lamenting my 'not-so fantastic' week. I was grateful for that.

It was horribly difficult to sit for 30 seconds without whimpering in pain. All I felt like doing was walk around and just stand.

I just did not want to sit.

I don't think I broke a bone (I joked with Skizzy that "I think the fat surrounding my thigh absorbed the impact most so my bones were spared". She obviously didn't find that statement amusing, judging from the tone of her voice). It's a little swollen and tender but otherwise, nothing damaged.

I will be fine. Trust me.



Oh, thank you Adrian for this.

Dear CheongsamLover,

You are a sick human being.
Do you realise how much you have degraded those girls?
Do you even realise how they would feel if they knew their photos and the comments you made regarding their dressing (or the lack of it, as you claim)?

Tight headscarves? What in the world? Now, it is a sin to wear headscarves the way one is most comfortable with?

Holy Bocephus! I didn't know that!

What anyone chooses to wear if their prerogative, not yours. You do NOT own them.
It makes them comfortable in their own skin to dress the way they do. You do NOT get to judge them.
This is, after all, a free country. We have a right to choose what we wear. YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY IN THAT.

Women are not meant to be objectified like pieces of meat. We are much higher than that, we have feelings, thoughts, ideas and the likes. Do you think I would enjoy knowing that people can take pictures of me, post it up on their blogs and call me a slut? I would be dead humiliated to be objectified in such a manner that derogatory.

If you have qualms about people's dressing, you should ignore it. Walking away and not saying a word is sometimes, the best thing to do. By the looks of it, judging from my limited knowledge of Islam (I am sanctimonious, after all), I would say that you are no worse than a rapist or a man who commits incest. You take pictures of these innocent women (I do not know them well enough to say they're innocent, but they are not to be blamed for his actions) and post them up in your little blog.

Clearly, I would state that you are committing a sin.

Multiple sins, to be precise.

Seems to me like you actually ENJOY these girls and their so-called slutty dressing.

You condemn these women who wear so-called skimpy outfits for earning a living. At least they are working to earn a living, unlike you, who actually spend time taking their pics and posting them up. Definitely the work of a highly bored and jobless man.

Grow up, get a life, and get off these women's cases, especially about their dressing.

Very bitchy, annoyed, and mostly in pain,
-TTG-

P/S: My boyfriend would like to say a few words too.


How very true.

You can drive me around.

I'm freaking out right now, it has all ended.


Lewis Hamilton is the new world champion.

The race was indeed a nail-biting one (quite literally, I could've bitten my fingers off).

At the moment I thought, it was all over for him, I cried.
Then, by some divine intervention, Timo Glock's car slowed down and Lewis finished fifth.

Just where he needed to finish to be world champion, should Felipe finish first.

I cried.
(yeah-lah, I like to cry a lot WTF)

I felt really bad for Felipe Massa. I've always liked him ever since he was at Sauber Petronas, and to see him cry after hearing his dream of becoming the world champion just shattered like that made me feel bad too. He handled his post-race conference like a man. He wasn't as whiny as another former world champion I know. He controlled his emotions so well and said "I know how to win and I know how to lose". Kudos to him for showing maturity and grace.

Nicole Scherzinger was at the race, in the pit lane. She was jumping up and down and hugged everyone when he was declared the champion. Such a supportive girlfriend.

(I'm not being sarcastic-lah OMG. Why are you people being mean?)


My week has been fantastic. For this, Vodkat and I would like to celebrate.
*brings out bottles of alcoholic beverages to mark fantastic week ever*

Final note: Farewell, David Coulthard. It's been fun having you around in Formula One. May you enjoy the world of retirement.

I'm being very biased and annoying here, so go away.

Why, hello there, top spot of the league table. Nice to see you again. Did you miss me?

I know I did.


Hi Chelsea boys, thank you for the five goals. How did you know that would cheer me up from my miserable week?


Frank Lampard scored with his head again for his 100th Premier League goal?

Nicolas Anelka's first hattrick for the club and his first at home?

Alex's first goal for Chelsea and the 1000th Premier League goal for Chelsea?

Wow, I'm impressed at these records! *throws confetti*

Joe Cole certainly made a huge impact in that match, I'm glad to see him back from injury.

Anyway, thank you again for putting this huge grin on my face.



Hey David, what do you mean "Stay Tuned for Monday's Surprise"?

Does it mean we're getting the video premiere of the single?

Boy, I have three things to say to you:
01. Don't tease me. I hate being teased.
02. About damn time, don't you think?
03. DON'T TEASE ME.



Lewis is going to bag the title and spoil the Brazilian samba party. Just stay calm, alright, Lewis? I should be telling myself to calm down because I'm panicking like crazy, it's ugly.


Want to meet the idiot of the season?

Say hi to Robin van Persie, kids. That shoving/head-butting he did to the Stoke City goalkeeper was totally uncalled for and unacceptable. Frustrated or not, that was no way to react. It's like he was possessed by the spirit of a ninja or something.
My mother said that he could be my new client besides Wayne Rooney and come to me for counselling sessions. She thinks she's SO funny.

I am a Hull City fan because I want a stuffed toy tiger, they're so adorable! because they are a fantastic side. 1-4 down to come back and score two more goals to make it 3-4. I was secretly hoping they'd pull a Spurs, but alas, that never happened. I'm proud of them nonetheless.


I feel good because I got my work done this weekend.


Life is good. Vodka kitty (also known as Vodkat) wants to celebrate with me as well.

Be my muse, please?

I feel like a failure at this point.

I don't know if I have lost my muse, but it didn't work for me last night and right now. It was working for me all the way until 9PM last night.

I will not talk about going to the prom, dresses and anything else in between until I sort myself out.

Mother-flipping basket of cookies, I've never been more disappointed in myself in my life right now.


Can someone please take me to Bangsar Village so we can have a lovely chocolate fondue session at Theobroma so I can drown my sorrows by eating chocolates and gaining extra weight?

When you get what you want, but not what you need.

I need a drink.
I need a break.

I need a statistics nerd to help me differentiate the many statistical tests available out there.

I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty and weightless
and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

Angel - Sarah McLachlan.



Okay, I've got my distraction already.

I think I better go find some peace in my sleep.
It's going to be a long Tuesday.


What a shocker, Roxanne. To think that I assumed your least favourite day was Saturday.
*rolls eyes*

OFF TO YOUR BED!
*kicks*

I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words how I feel.

I love to sleep. You know that.

I also love my room. If ever my room is not in the condition it's supposed to be (clean), I would refuse to sleep in it and start cleaning it at really odd hours of the day. Otherwise I will call myself a failure.

The problem that has been bugging me for the last 2 months is that my room is the room with the balcony. That is where we hang our clothes. People would come in and out of my room to hang their clothes and whatnots.

It used to be just my mother who would come in my room and hang clothes.

Now it's my sister-in-law.

My brother also comes in occasionally, to borrow my laptop.

My dad would come in to see if I was awake or asleep, so that he knows whether or not he should turn the modem off.

In the process, he would lock me in my own room.

Sometimes, my mother locks me in too.

So does my brother.

When I find myself locked in, I knock (more like banging in a violent fit of rage) on my door in hopes of it breaking it down.

Sometimes, if I wake up at an ungodly hour, say at 4 in the morning, I know my mother would be up and I'd call her and say "Hello, someone locked me in and I can't get out. Come up and open the door for me, please".

Sometimes, I think she does it on purpose. It's her way of saying "Stay in there. Stay out of trouble", I think.

Crafty mother.

Sometimes, it's the weekend or it's a day I don't have class/anything to do and all I feel like doing is sleeping just a few hours more.

Then my mother comes in to hang the clothes and after doing all that, she will sit at the edge of the bed and wakes me up to tell me random stories of something my father said or what she saw on the idiot box.

Sometimes I am fast asleep and she tells me to move a little because she wants to sit on the edge of my bed to fold clothes.

I keep hearing David Archuleta's Crush on the radio every single hour that I am awake, it's insane.

I know-lah I have like this SUPER MASSIVE crush on all the boys in the band (Shut up. Don't judge me, okay), but really, playing Crush to mark that is a little too much, don't you think?

I hate interrupted sleep.

I hate having eyebags.

I hate people coming in and out of my room.

I am beginning to hate that song.

I hate the fact I can't go back to sleep now.

You don't know how bad it feels.

I only went to sleep at 4:30 this morning after typing out the last thing: my research proposal. I could have sworn I saw my laptop screen swirling in pretty weirds circles.

It's not like I was procrastinating. My Internet connection loves to die at times when I needed it most. While it kept dying on me, I wrote it out on a piece of paper.

And that was just my suggested sample and sampling techniques. I couldn't do anything more than that.

This is for you, Streamyx, for making me unable to type out my proposal in time.

While completing this and my assignment, I told some people who were talking online with me that I wanted to drink vodka. Alcoholic kitty, tsk tsk.

I live in Jalan Vodka. Hahaha!

(Story behind this: My parents and I got bored on the way back from SJMC to KL, we started creating our own road names because of the whole "Jalan Alor, Jalan Kejora" thing and I told my mother that if they were to rename our road, it would be known as Jalan Vodka. If they named it Jalan Mawi, I swear to you I am moving out of my housing area. I don't lie)

I was too tired to even watch the Chelsea-Roma match. I thought that if I moved my ass an inch, I would have fallen on the floor and lie there until my mother wakes me up in the morning. So I sat there, relying on updates from Renny and typing my proposal out.

So when I woke up at 9 this morning, I was worried about meeting my supervisor. She's not scary, contrary to popular belief, but she is intimidating. Plus, this topic I'm doing, it's her forte. So no chance in hell to play the bullshit card, which is really my forte, to be honest.

11:30 swings by and I see my supervisor. The first thing she asked to see was the research proposal.

She said it was a very good proposal.

HOLY FREAKING BOCEPHUS-KU! WHAT? I spent like 45 minutes on that, not knowing what I typed in and all (I was seeing my laptop screen swirling in front of me, remember?) and she says she likes the fact I know what exactly what I want to do with my research and how in detail I went with the scales and what-nots?

Fan-freaking-tastic.

She did say she needs me to add in a few details and such, nothing major.

But still, when she was reading my proposal, I was expecting her to shoot it down to a T because I had no idea what I was typing out.

I'm just happy it turned out good. So now, I have one week to sort of rectify the proposal.

It paid off, just like you said. Thank you for staying up with me and entertaining me about other random road names (Jalan Lipas, Jalan Cham and Jalan Todi. Man, are we just that bored and random or what!).

My head hurts. I think I should go off to bed.

Until later.

It's raining and I am hurting.

Remember I once had some trouble with my left knee two years ago? I had a bruised cartillage behind my left kneecap, which almost rendered me unable to walk a short distance or even do the things that made me happy like sports?

Yeah, well. It's back and the pain is as bad as before. I can't do anything without wincing in pain every 30 seconds. I hate feeling weak and I cried for a short while (say a minute).

At this rate, I'm thinking I might have to use a wheelchair in order to get around.

Sorry if I sound whiny and needy and all those things, I have a right to whine. Just when I thought this pain would go away and leave me alone, old wounds open up again.

You may think I am just a hypochondriac, but this pain I am feeling now, it's real alright. It's as real as the eyebags under my eyes.

I am relying heavily on Perskindol to reduce the pain.

If I don't update, well, you know where to find me. I'll be busy typing out my random assignments and research proposal and what-nots.
*whimpers in pain*

Until later.

My words they sing you their song.

Hello you.

Today, you would be 22 years and 2 weeks old.

You would have been, anyway.

There is not a day that I don't think of you. You know what they say, the first cut is the deepest. I always feel you watching me, in a non-stalker kind of way. Making sure I do the right thing. Laughing at my mistakes.

Sometimes, I think if you were still here, you'd say "This is the voice of your conscience speaking, you are not fat" to my face.

And I will half-mindedly say "I believe you".

I don't know if you know this, I have changed a little. You know what change does to me. It makes me afraid and awkward. But I deal with it just alright.

I am sure you must be immensely proud to hear that I do not use the violent approach of throwing things around when I am angry. Yes, be proud. Your little girl is much wiser now to know that violence doesn't cure cancer, solve problems or fix her financial situation.

I like rock songs more than I used to when I was 14. Shocker, I know. Oh well, I suppose a good change would do me some good. Not really into the whole pop-boyband stuff anymore. I'm too old and too cool for that now. Haha.

I know I am not speaking for myself when I say I miss you. We all do. Your wit and caring self is what we miss the most about you. Well, that and the fact you beat the crap out of my Hindi-speaking skills.

I watched the movie "Wit" a couple of weeks ago and I thought about you. Well, my initial thought was "Why in the world did I choose to wear my purple eyeliner today?". I only said that because I was sobbing thinking about what you went through. The pain of it all made me cry. So now I know better than to wear eyeliners to school in case my lecturers decide to show me movies that make me think of you which will make me cry.

My hair is longer now than what you'd remember before. It's way past my shoulders but above the lower back. I am resigned to be known as the 'langsuir queen' because one day I washed my hair and didn't dry it, and my dad thought that I just auditioned for the role of a vampire. Yes, you may laugh at me.

How are things with me? I'm doing good, not that great, but I'll survive. One more year until I graduate and then, what happens? I don't know. I may work, I may not...one thing's for sure, I will continue to study. Not just at a university level, I learn new things everyday. You never truly stop learning.

On a relationship front, I have been single for the last three years. Purely by choice. I'm not sad, I don't feel left out. I have other things to worry about like 'Will my hair be blue by the end of the season because of that bet?'.

I have so much to say but I will take forever just to do that. You know I have a tendency of rambling like an idiot before I finally come to my point because I get nervous and sweaty and all that when I have something important or random to say to you.

It happened again. Haha. Sorry.

I love you, sempiternally (favourite new word!). Nothing can change what you mean to me or the one year of happiness you gave me.

Thank you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I am sorry.
Take care.

I will refrain myself from saying 'goodbye' because it is so trite so I'll just end it by saying 'until later'.

ABYB,
-RH-

For your perusal.

Today, my lecturer told us that no one uses the term 'for your perusal' anymore.
That liar.

I do, okay. And so does...

Well, never mind. Skizzy knows who I'm talking about.


Anyways, for your perusal, I got yet another gift and card yesterday. This time around, it's from my lecturer cousin and his family.


If you know me, I am quite a pain when it comes to opening presents. I peel the cellophane tapes off so slowly and carefully to the point a snail moves faster than that. I'm trying to save trees, thank you!


-.-' As if the wrapper wasn't enough, there has to be a box. Let's see what's in it.



OMG. GOLD HEART-SHAPED EARRINGS. So pretty!

Okay, I know I said I didn't like gold things, but this has a hint of silver in it. So, it's entirely fine.


My niece handmade my card. So sweet, I tell you.


She spelt my name with an extra 'E', haha. The only other person who does that is my good friend, the concerned alcoholic.

"Why did you write 'have fun eating carrots' here?"
"You were born in the year of the rabbit right? And rabbits eat carrots"
"Ah...I see"

I am such a stupid person, okay. Don't judge me.


Thank you to my cousin and his family for the gift. I love it.


My trip to see my thesis supervisor proved to be fruitful. She was incredibly nice and supportive and to think I was afraid of her! I have to meet her again in another two weeks' time, which gives me some ample time to carefully write out my proposal =)

And oh, I'll be away for a week or so. Assignments and midterms galore...just in case you DO miss me.

Oh yeah, you know you saw it coming.

Wish me luck!

This is the time of my life.

This post shall be updated when someone else decides to be generous with gifts.

Excuse my cheesy title. My 21st was indeed the time of my life.

So what happened?
My best friend from secondary school called me up at midnight and lamented about the fact she has to wait until December to turn legal. It was incredibly nice of her to call me up from the library of her university since she was studying for my finals, she never fails to call me up at midnight on my birthday. We had a falling out for about a year in 2005 and I'm eternally thankful that we're back on good terms again.

After that, my 17 years and her cousin called me up and made an awful rendition of Light On and Crush, they were mucking up the lyrics! I couldn't help but laugh really loudly, which resulted in myself getting a slap from my mother for being too loud. Yeah, I got slapped by my mother a few minutes into my moments of being 21. Let's not talk about that because it makes the three of us feel horribly awkward. Thank you nonetheless, for being there and making me laugh to prevent the tears from rolling down and telling me what to do when it did and my pressure dropped.

Anyways, the whole morning of my birthday, I refused to see anyone. I made a dash to the bathroom, took a shower and headed back into my room. and stayed in there for what seemed like forever. I was bitter, okay. My birthdays in the past have never been outstanding, I always end up being miserable and grumpy. I came down only when everyone was ready to head out to visit my relatives. That was at 1:24PM, the time I was born, and my dad wishes me at only this time and not earlier or later than that. He wished me and the rest followed. I don't think I shook hands with my mother because I was very upset.

The first place we went to was my Mak Ngah and Mak Su's place. I have been craving for her chicken rendang (that's where my mother got her recipe from) and her kuah kacang. By far, the best kuah kacang ever. It so happens my Mak Su and I share the same birthday. We had fun teasing my Mak Ngah. Poor auntie. Haha. By this time, I felt better. Grumpy baby walrus was nowhere to be seen.

Then we headed out to my Mak Andak's house. We had a good laugh too.

After that, we went over to an old family friend's house. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing she forgot my birthday. Every year, she used to give RM100 in the birthday card she posted and that stopped for a while, and when my brother got married, she gave me RM100 too. One thing about this auntie is that she is super generous. Way too generous. She gave me RM50 as my duit Raya. I'm not so greedy-lah, I don't shamelessly tell people "It's my birthday today, give me extra money please". I am not so forward =/

Then we had dinner in Victoria Station in Medan Damansara. Every year my brother plans on calling the staff to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me (if you tell them it's your birthday, they sing for you), but it never materialises (because I don't fancy the idea of some random person singing happy birthday to me...unless of course, he is THE one and only David Cook).

I had fun, it may not have been a great birthday but I had fun regardless.

Anyways, let's take a look at the gifts and cards then, shall we?

This is what I got from my parents.


Say hello to Andy, my new iPod nano. So darn pretty, kan?

I'm not allowed to use him until the 18th because that when my exams will be over and done with.




This is the card the family gave me. Yes, my brother and his wife signed this card too. I'm their daughter too, apparently. Does anyone else think that my brother's signature looks like it says David instead of Rizal?

Aimee Lee Kit-Ee/woman with so many 'eees' in her name sent me a card. Next time, you use eagles, okay? Pos Malaysia fails us again.


Aimee ah, I showed my dad your card like you asked me to and he says he likes your handwriting better.
-.-' He says mine is all disjointed, something about it not being connected or written in cursive handwriting. I like my handwriting, okay, thank you.

This pretty box came from the mate. Randomly, I didn't know how to open the box and Yas said to pull the lid up and that's when we found out how to open the box. I am so stupid, I tell you.

What's inside, you ask?

No-lah, how can you fit David Cook inside there? You people are too imaginative-lah. So much free time, is it? Come do my assignment for me, please?

I squealed when I saw these things inside that pretty box.

Chelsea pencil box.

Chelsea mug. I so happy can die, thank you.
Thank you, mate! *hugs and squeezes you*

Skizzy, upon hearing the bad start to my day, found something that she knew would cheer me up.

"For you, on your 21st...you deserve this because you have to wait another 42 days for the album"

THIS = ONE DROOL-WORTHY BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER.

The revelation of THAT particular tattoo leaves me oh-so very happy I'm doing cartwheels now.

Oral fixation, much?

MY BOYFRIEND IS MY MUSE! HAHAHA! Thank God for that Guitar Hero advert.

Favourite photo ever.

I have come to a conclusion that this man is a robot manufactured by an evil scientist to render people speechless and seduce innocent beings into having horrible, horrible thoughts.

Yes, you have succeeded in seducing me, now quit the smirking already! Let me enjoy the remaining bit of dignity I have left in myself. Don't taunt me!

I love you, woman. I did get him on my birthday after all. HAHA!

Thank you so much everyone for the gifts and wishes through Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, online, LiveJournal, text messages, snail mail and e-mails. I love you all sempiternally. Here's to more birthdays and happy occasions.

Right, I'm exhausted and my double whammy of aches isn't getting any better so I better go to bed.