It's all wrong and it's not all right.

First, DC says he's going to have a concert in the Philippines in 2009.

Now, it's Michael 'goddamned Australian' Johns?

WHAT THE MOTHER-FLIPPING BASKET OF COOKIES IS HAPPENING HERE!


That's it. I'm moving out of the country next year.
*fumes*


Excuse me, I'm allowed to be a bimbo whenever I want. Deal with it.

Be my muse, please?

I feel like a failure at this point.

I don't know if I have lost my muse, but it didn't work for me last night and right now. It was working for me all the way until 9PM last night.

I will not talk about going to the prom, dresses and anything else in between until I sort myself out.

Mother-flipping basket of cookies, I've never been more disappointed in myself in my life right now.


Can someone please take me to Bangsar Village so we can have a lovely chocolate fondue session at Theobroma so I can drown my sorrows by eating chocolates and gaining extra weight?

Should I stay or should I go?

One more thing to do before Kyle gets the ink out on paper.
I think progress is being made =)
(told you I'd find something to name after him =p)


I am debating if I should go for our "An Enchanted Evening" prom.
I talked to my mother and she said it's alright for me to attend, considering this could very well be the last time I experience a prom here.

I have to play the bullshit card with my dad now too.

If he gives me the green light, I need to find a dress.
My mother told me that they both found lovely dresses for me while they were out in town today.


Hmmm...


Oh well, I want my company too. If they're going, I'll go too.


I asked May her thoughts and she says I should "kick the tomboy in me out for a day and embrace the girly side even if they don't have cookies". She thinks she's SO funny.

My other darlings say I should go, it wouldn't hurt me or flies either way.

Should I stay or should I go?

A broken back is only something if you did it saving me.

Remember last Wednesday I said I felt like a failure because I couldn't complete everything I set myself to start and finish?

I also was thinking.

I know. I think about things everyday. May thinks my metacognitive skills would scare Mr.Prospective Future away. Pfft.

What was I thinking about?
Growing up.

It all happened when on that fateful Wednesday morning, someone close to me sent me a text message asking me to set up a blog for her and her friends to flame another person. Intrigued, I asked more because I genuinely thought she sent it to the wrong person.

She told me she would text me again later in the night as she was heading out for school.

I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone about this, so I kept quiet and waited until she texted me back to assess my options and consequences of the actions I may take.

She texted me again that night and explained to me that she wanted me to create a blog about this person in her school that no one liked.

I said I'll do it and pass the details to her later.

But then, it hit me.

What the hell was I doing?

I am encouraging someone younger than me to instill hate towards another person?
I am telling people "Hey, you want to blog about this person you hate? Come let me help you set it up!".

I learnt from my past mistakes and said to myself at that moment "There's no way you are getting sucked back into this mess again, bitch".

I know you hate this person and so does half the school, but that is no excuse to start something as demeaning as this. Don't you think this may lead to damaging consequences to that girl you hate? Not only do you people hate her, you are inviting other people to hate her as well. And bless this girl, she may feeling horrible than she would already be feeling.

I sent her a text again asking her if her parents knew about what she was doing because:
01. I didn't want to get myself into the same situation I placed myself in a year ago.
02. I didn't want her to get into trouble as well.

Sure, I could create the blog and pass her details and whatever she chooses to do with the blog, it's her doing and not mine. I've washed my hands clean.

But what if one day someone (say her parents) finds out about this thing and she says that I did it...where does that leave me? What does that say about me?

It says that I am a bad influence.
It says that I tell kids it is okay if you talk bad about someone you hate by spreading bad things about them in blogs.
It says anything but the fact I am sleep-deprived, socially-awkward and obsessed about a random musician.

She replied me and said that her parents doesn't know (why am I not surprised by this revelation?).

I told her to talk to them and see what they say and get back to me (because I know her parents well enough to say that they would definitely advise her against it).

She told me that she would let me know and if I don't hear anything from her by the 7th, I am not to do anything.

I am just trying to find the right moment to have a conversation with her father to sort of warn him about this and to advise her against it.


A friend of mine was so surprised at what I said on my Facebook comment replies to her regarding the Chelsea-Liverpool match and all the hating of other teams (I told her to quit venting her hatred towards other teams for our loss, because she was publicly saying how she hated Liverpool and Man United. Yes, Liverpool fans, I defended your team to a person who hardly watches football but acts like she knows everything about it. Stop being mean to me already-lah) that she said that I have changed from the time I left school because when I was in school I used to be a bitch and slam all the teams except for my own.

I politely (I toned the sarcasm down because not many people get it) told her that as I grew up, I realised that there was no point in being childish as it made me somewhat stupid (I remember my lecturer saying this in class once, so I know I am not lying).


I grew an extra spine. It's called maturity.
No wonder my back hurts lately =(

When you get what you want, but not what you need.

I need a drink.
I need a break.

I need a statistics nerd to help me differentiate the many statistical tests available out there.

I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty and weightless
and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

Angel - Sarah McLachlan.



Okay, I've got my distraction already.

I think I better go find some peace in my sleep.
It's going to be a long Tuesday.


What a shocker, Roxanne. To think that I assumed your least favourite day was Saturday.
*rolls eyes*

OFF TO YOUR BED!
*kicks*

I see a red door and I want it painted black.

I have my back-ups. They are just awesome to the point I can't even tell you how much they tell me things just like they see it to shake me all night long.

All good things must come to an end. It wasn't like we lost to Spurs. That would have been just epically...TRAGIC.


I'm keeping the drummer boy for tonight. You can have him back tomorrow. I need him more than you do right now. And random question: He looks like Ryan Gosling, si?

I'm going to OD on lots and lots of songs that I can scream my lungs out to.

WHY IS IT NOT NOVEMBER 18TH YET?!

Thesis proposal, I'm sorry but my anger is about to be vented onto you.

Skizzy, come tell me a pirate joke now!

Oh the festivities have just begun. People are setting off fireworks already. I guess they're secret Liverpool fans. Hahaha!

See, I'm not running around like a wild hobo crying my eyes out! I'm as chirpy as Dolly Parton on helium!

Oh wait, that's someone else.
Ah, screw it, I am as chirpy as Dolly Parton!

New text message from DaveSC:
"Losing isn't the end of the world. Not having murukkus for Diwali is a far worse tragedy than losing the unbeaten record"
WTH DO YOU MEAN BY NOT HAVING MURUKKUS FOR DIWALI? WILL I BE DEPRIVED OF A MUST-HAVE DELICACY FOR THIS FESTIVE OCCASION WHEN I VISIT YOUR HOUSE?! DON'T TEASE ME!

He's right, it's like he knows how much not having murukkus for Deepavali would freak the hell out of me. It's like he's...psychic.

Oh well, I have got to get back to work. Until later, people.

Hush, be quiet. Hear me sing.

Skizzy, whatever happens tonight, we will always have each other.
And that pretty drummer boy *coughs*.

SHARING IS CARING, OKAY.

Here's wishing everyone DEEPAVALI NAAL VALTHUKAL.
May the festival of lights bring you joy, prosperity and love.

Don't forget to leave the light on. Sorry, I just had to.

I have a MASSIVE craving for mutton, murukku and tandoori chicken.

Until later, darlings. I'm editing my research proposal now while watching the match.

I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words how I feel.

I love to sleep. You know that.

I also love my room. If ever my room is not in the condition it's supposed to be (clean), I would refuse to sleep in it and start cleaning it at really odd hours of the day. Otherwise I will call myself a failure.

The problem that has been bugging me for the last 2 months is that my room is the room with the balcony. That is where we hang our clothes. People would come in and out of my room to hang their clothes and whatnots.

It used to be just my mother who would come in my room and hang clothes.

Now it's my sister-in-law.

My brother also comes in occasionally, to borrow my laptop.

My dad would come in to see if I was awake or asleep, so that he knows whether or not he should turn the modem off.

In the process, he would lock me in my own room.

Sometimes, my mother locks me in too.

So does my brother.

When I find myself locked in, I knock (more like banging in a violent fit of rage) on my door in hopes of it breaking it down.

Sometimes, if I wake up at an ungodly hour, say at 4 in the morning, I know my mother would be up and I'd call her and say "Hello, someone locked me in and I can't get out. Come up and open the door for me, please".

Sometimes, I think she does it on purpose. It's her way of saying "Stay in there. Stay out of trouble", I think.

Crafty mother.

Sometimes, it's the weekend or it's a day I don't have class/anything to do and all I feel like doing is sleeping just a few hours more.

Then my mother comes in to hang the clothes and after doing all that, she will sit at the edge of the bed and wakes me up to tell me random stories of something my father said or what she saw on the idiot box.

Sometimes I am fast asleep and she tells me to move a little because she wants to sit on the edge of my bed to fold clothes.

I keep hearing David Archuleta's Crush on the radio every single hour that I am awake, it's insane.

I know-lah I have like this SUPER MASSIVE crush on all the boys in the band (Shut up. Don't judge me, okay), but really, playing Crush to mark that is a little too much, don't you think?

I hate interrupted sleep.

I hate having eyebags.

I hate people coming in and out of my room.

I am beginning to hate that song.

I hate the fact I can't go back to sleep now.

You don't know how bad it feels.

I only went to sleep at 4:30 this morning after typing out the last thing: my research proposal. I could have sworn I saw my laptop screen swirling in pretty weirds circles.

It's not like I was procrastinating. My Internet connection loves to die at times when I needed it most. While it kept dying on me, I wrote it out on a piece of paper.

And that was just my suggested sample and sampling techniques. I couldn't do anything more than that.

This is for you, Streamyx, for making me unable to type out my proposal in time.

While completing this and my assignment, I told some people who were talking online with me that I wanted to drink vodka. Alcoholic kitty, tsk tsk.

I live in Jalan Vodka. Hahaha!

(Story behind this: My parents and I got bored on the way back from SJMC to KL, we started creating our own road names because of the whole "Jalan Alor, Jalan Kejora" thing and I told my mother that if they were to rename our road, it would be known as Jalan Vodka. If they named it Jalan Mawi, I swear to you I am moving out of my housing area. I don't lie)

I was too tired to even watch the Chelsea-Roma match. I thought that if I moved my ass an inch, I would have fallen on the floor and lie there until my mother wakes me up in the morning. So I sat there, relying on updates from Renny and typing my proposal out.

So when I woke up at 9 this morning, I was worried about meeting my supervisor. She's not scary, contrary to popular belief, but she is intimidating. Plus, this topic I'm doing, it's her forte. So no chance in hell to play the bullshit card, which is really my forte, to be honest.

11:30 swings by and I see my supervisor. The first thing she asked to see was the research proposal.

She said it was a very good proposal.

HOLY FREAKING BOCEPHUS-KU! WHAT? I spent like 45 minutes on that, not knowing what I typed in and all (I was seeing my laptop screen swirling in front of me, remember?) and she says she likes the fact I know what exactly what I want to do with my research and how in detail I went with the scales and what-nots?

Fan-freaking-tastic.

She did say she needs me to add in a few details and such, nothing major.

But still, when she was reading my proposal, I was expecting her to shoot it down to a T because I had no idea what I was typing out.

I'm just happy it turned out good. So now, I have one week to sort of rectify the proposal.

It paid off, just like you said. Thank you for staying up with me and entertaining me about other random road names (Jalan Lipas, Jalan Cham and Jalan Todi. Man, are we just that bored and random or what!).

My head hurts. I think I should go off to bed.

Until later.

Smile. It is your only weapon.

I don't feel so good. I'm been going in and out of sleep. I can be mistaken for a relative of the pandas or raccoons.

Today has been by far one of the most unfruitful days of my life.

There have been days where I just wake up and do nothing. That's fine, because I wanted it that way.

Today was different. I made plans for myself. Appointment with the cardiologist, finish up my career report (yes, miss, I am doing this for your freaking perusal since you think we all have no clue about what we want to do in life), and type out my research proposal.

I haven't completed any one of those things I was supposed to do.

You know how I feel?

I feel like a bloody failure. I am very upset with myself to the point I want to just get someone to beat me.

But random things like "For reasons unknown, my flat chest" and "I swear if they changed your street name to Jalan Eta Carinae, you would explode or implode. You would just 'plode' either way" and also randomly naming streets after food, animals, drinks (JALAN VODKA!), fruits and other silly things made me smile and laugh to the point my stomach still hurts.

Sigh. Back to work now. Wish me luck in completing my work.

Random picture for your viewing pleasure.

I'm highly embarrassed that my mother is so greedy.

*covers face in shame*

It's raining and I am hurting.

Remember I once had some trouble with my left knee two years ago? I had a bruised cartillage behind my left kneecap, which almost rendered me unable to walk a short distance or even do the things that made me happy like sports?

Yeah, well. It's back and the pain is as bad as before. I can't do anything without wincing in pain every 30 seconds. I hate feeling weak and I cried for a short while (say a minute).

At this rate, I'm thinking I might have to use a wheelchair in order to get around.

Sorry if I sound whiny and needy and all those things, I have a right to whine. Just when I thought this pain would go away and leave me alone, old wounds open up again.

You may think I am just a hypochondriac, but this pain I am feeling now, it's real alright. It's as real as the eyebags under my eyes.

I am relying heavily on Perskindol to reduce the pain.

If I don't update, well, you know where to find me. I'll be busy typing out my random assignments and research proposal and what-nots.
*whimpers in pain*

Until later.

My words they sing you their song.

Hello you.

Today, you would be 22 years and 2 weeks old.

You would have been, anyway.

There is not a day that I don't think of you. You know what they say, the first cut is the deepest. I always feel you watching me, in a non-stalker kind of way. Making sure I do the right thing. Laughing at my mistakes.

Sometimes, I think if you were still here, you'd say "This is the voice of your conscience speaking, you are not fat" to my face.

And I will half-mindedly say "I believe you".

I don't know if you know this, I have changed a little. You know what change does to me. It makes me afraid and awkward. But I deal with it just alright.

I am sure you must be immensely proud to hear that I do not use the violent approach of throwing things around when I am angry. Yes, be proud. Your little girl is much wiser now to know that violence doesn't cure cancer, solve problems or fix her financial situation.

I like rock songs more than I used to when I was 14. Shocker, I know. Oh well, I suppose a good change would do me some good. Not really into the whole pop-boyband stuff anymore. I'm too old and too cool for that now. Haha.

I know I am not speaking for myself when I say I miss you. We all do. Your wit and caring self is what we miss the most about you. Well, that and the fact you beat the crap out of my Hindi-speaking skills.

I watched the movie "Wit" a couple of weeks ago and I thought about you. Well, my initial thought was "Why in the world did I choose to wear my purple eyeliner today?". I only said that because I was sobbing thinking about what you went through. The pain of it all made me cry. So now I know better than to wear eyeliners to school in case my lecturers decide to show me movies that make me think of you which will make me cry.

My hair is longer now than what you'd remember before. It's way past my shoulders but above the lower back. I am resigned to be known as the 'langsuir queen' because one day I washed my hair and didn't dry it, and my dad thought that I just auditioned for the role of a vampire. Yes, you may laugh at me.

How are things with me? I'm doing good, not that great, but I'll survive. One more year until I graduate and then, what happens? I don't know. I may work, I may not...one thing's for sure, I will continue to study. Not just at a university level, I learn new things everyday. You never truly stop learning.

On a relationship front, I have been single for the last three years. Purely by choice. I'm not sad, I don't feel left out. I have other things to worry about like 'Will my hair be blue by the end of the season because of that bet?'.

I have so much to say but I will take forever just to do that. You know I have a tendency of rambling like an idiot before I finally come to my point because I get nervous and sweaty and all that when I have something important or random to say to you.

It happened again. Haha. Sorry.

I love you, sempiternally (favourite new word!). Nothing can change what you mean to me or the one year of happiness you gave me.

Thank you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I am sorry.
Take care.

I will refrain myself from saying 'goodbye' because it is so trite so I'll just end it by saying 'until later'.

ABYB,
-RH-

You won't feel so alone.

I AM BACK!

Excuse the lack of updates, I have been busy having multiple dates with my exam papers and textbooks.

I have discovered that I actually love the biological aspects of Health Psych. I love the brain, digestive system, respiratory system and components of the blood (and to think that I am haemophobic).

Oh well, you learn new things about yourself everyday.


Apart from that, Streamyx is being a bitch by not letting me do ANY work that needs to be done online at night. I guess it's just its way of making sure that I don't go astray from my schedule.

How thoughtful, Streamyx. That doesn't change the fact you are still a bitch, though.


November 18th is another month away (32 days, 4 hours and 44 minutes, but really, who's counting?). The fund is still open for your kind donations.

Yes, I am so horribly shameless. So what?


I finally got Andy working (I couldn't download iTunes, but thank God for things that don't fail like the ancient WinAmp). Thank goodness I wasn't greedy and asked my parents for the 16GB one. Haha.


My current favourite song would be Axium's Incarcerate. I mean, I've always loved it, but I have a renewed love for the song. This could possibly go into that list of songs that can move me to tears.


Sunday was fantastic. I had fun with the kids, playing ridiculous games and laughing like a hyena. The mini-family birthday celebration was good too. Someone actually spoke to me like I actually existed. I'm not jumping for joy or anything of the sort, but yeah, if you talk to me, I will do the same. Things are changing for the better, I guess. Grudges aren't meant to last forever, anyway.


Tough weeks ahead, I shall try to update as frequently as possible. See you lovely people soon.

Until later,
~RH~

Incarcerate, rest peacefully.

Dear FIA,

If you want a Ferrari driver to win this year's Driver's Championship, please just give the title to him already.

Do not make me waste my precious valuable time sitting in front of the idiot box while you get filthy rich from the money the TV companies.

I absolutely despise your corrupt and filthy ways of tarnishing the image of Formula One by blatantly practising favouritism and coming up with ridiculous rules and regulations.

Cheaters never win, neither do they prosper. Remember that. And karma's a pretty sassy bitch who'll bite your sorry derriere or wherever else it may hurt you most.


Highly annoyed by favouritism and double standards,
-TTG-

My list.

***For newer posts, scroll after this post***

Ten things I have to do:
01. Finish Personal I/O Portfolio Assignment.
02. Finish Cover Letter Assignment.
03. Come up with thesis proposal before the 23rd of October.
04. STUDY.
05. SLEEP.
06. Clean my room.
07. Get a haircut.
08. Get my keloid jab.
09. Print out assignments and proposal.
10. Save money.

Ten songs I listen to in the early hours of the morning that keep me up:
01. The World I Know - DC/Collective Soul.
02. Incarcerate - Axium.
03. Daytripper - DC/The Beatles.
04. Hours in Between - MJ.
05. Light On - DC.
06. Leave Behind - Axium.
07. Viva la Vida - Coldplay.
08. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler/The Dan Band featuring MJ.
09. You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC.
10. Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance.


Wish me luck with getting my work done!

I have two albums to look forward to in November! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I AM SO HAPPY!

There's a monkey on my back and he loves you.

I should be studying but Fishy sent me this to relieve our stress of studying our anatomy for the umpteenth time in the last three years of our degree. I thought it would be selfish of me not to share this with you.

This chimp puts most of us, especially me, to shame.


As for the bulldog, well, he fails. Haha.

And go watch THIS. Swear to God, they're the cutest things in the universe, even my right kidney exploded.

Oh well, I should get back to my books now then. Be sure to check out the other videos of Pankun and James. Equally hilarious and fun to watch.

Until later!

For your perusal.

Today, my lecturer told us that no one uses the term 'for your perusal' anymore.
That liar.

I do, okay. And so does...

Well, never mind. Skizzy knows who I'm talking about.


Anyways, for your perusal, I got yet another gift and card yesterday. This time around, it's from my lecturer cousin and his family.


If you know me, I am quite a pain when it comes to opening presents. I peel the cellophane tapes off so slowly and carefully to the point a snail moves faster than that. I'm trying to save trees, thank you!


-.-' As if the wrapper wasn't enough, there has to be a box. Let's see what's in it.



OMG. GOLD HEART-SHAPED EARRINGS. So pretty!

Okay, I know I said I didn't like gold things, but this has a hint of silver in it. So, it's entirely fine.


My niece handmade my card. So sweet, I tell you.


She spelt my name with an extra 'E', haha. The only other person who does that is my good friend, the concerned alcoholic.

"Why did you write 'have fun eating carrots' here?"
"You were born in the year of the rabbit right? And rabbits eat carrots"
"Ah...I see"

I am such a stupid person, okay. Don't judge me.


Thank you to my cousin and his family for the gift. I love it.


My trip to see my thesis supervisor proved to be fruitful. She was incredibly nice and supportive and to think I was afraid of her! I have to meet her again in another two weeks' time, which gives me some ample time to carefully write out my proposal =)

And oh, I'll be away for a week or so. Assignments and midterms galore...just in case you DO miss me.

Oh yeah, you know you saw it coming.

Wish me luck!

This is the time of my life.

This post shall be updated when someone else decides to be generous with gifts.

Excuse my cheesy title. My 21st was indeed the time of my life.

So what happened?
My best friend from secondary school called me up at midnight and lamented about the fact she has to wait until December to turn legal. It was incredibly nice of her to call me up from the library of her university since she was studying for my finals, she never fails to call me up at midnight on my birthday. We had a falling out for about a year in 2005 and I'm eternally thankful that we're back on good terms again.

After that, my 17 years and her cousin called me up and made an awful rendition of Light On and Crush, they were mucking up the lyrics! I couldn't help but laugh really loudly, which resulted in myself getting a slap from my mother for being too loud. Yeah, I got slapped by my mother a few minutes into my moments of being 21. Let's not talk about that because it makes the three of us feel horribly awkward. Thank you nonetheless, for being there and making me laugh to prevent the tears from rolling down and telling me what to do when it did and my pressure dropped.

Anyways, the whole morning of my birthday, I refused to see anyone. I made a dash to the bathroom, took a shower and headed back into my room. and stayed in there for what seemed like forever. I was bitter, okay. My birthdays in the past have never been outstanding, I always end up being miserable and grumpy. I came down only when everyone was ready to head out to visit my relatives. That was at 1:24PM, the time I was born, and my dad wishes me at only this time and not earlier or later than that. He wished me and the rest followed. I don't think I shook hands with my mother because I was very upset.

The first place we went to was my Mak Ngah and Mak Su's place. I have been craving for her chicken rendang (that's where my mother got her recipe from) and her kuah kacang. By far, the best kuah kacang ever. It so happens my Mak Su and I share the same birthday. We had fun teasing my Mak Ngah. Poor auntie. Haha. By this time, I felt better. Grumpy baby walrus was nowhere to be seen.

Then we headed out to my Mak Andak's house. We had a good laugh too.

After that, we went over to an old family friend's house. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing she forgot my birthday. Every year, she used to give RM100 in the birthday card she posted and that stopped for a while, and when my brother got married, she gave me RM100 too. One thing about this auntie is that she is super generous. Way too generous. She gave me RM50 as my duit Raya. I'm not so greedy-lah, I don't shamelessly tell people "It's my birthday today, give me extra money please". I am not so forward =/

Then we had dinner in Victoria Station in Medan Damansara. Every year my brother plans on calling the staff to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me (if you tell them it's your birthday, they sing for you), but it never materialises (because I don't fancy the idea of some random person singing happy birthday to me...unless of course, he is THE one and only David Cook).

I had fun, it may not have been a great birthday but I had fun regardless.

Anyways, let's take a look at the gifts and cards then, shall we?

This is what I got from my parents.


Say hello to Andy, my new iPod nano. So darn pretty, kan?

I'm not allowed to use him until the 18th because that when my exams will be over and done with.




This is the card the family gave me. Yes, my brother and his wife signed this card too. I'm their daughter too, apparently. Does anyone else think that my brother's signature looks like it says David instead of Rizal?

Aimee Lee Kit-Ee/woman with so many 'eees' in her name sent me a card. Next time, you use eagles, okay? Pos Malaysia fails us again.


Aimee ah, I showed my dad your card like you asked me to and he says he likes your handwriting better.
-.-' He says mine is all disjointed, something about it not being connected or written in cursive handwriting. I like my handwriting, okay, thank you.

This pretty box came from the mate. Randomly, I didn't know how to open the box and Yas said to pull the lid up and that's when we found out how to open the box. I am so stupid, I tell you.

What's inside, you ask?

No-lah, how can you fit David Cook inside there? You people are too imaginative-lah. So much free time, is it? Come do my assignment for me, please?

I squealed when I saw these things inside that pretty box.

Chelsea pencil box.

Chelsea mug. I so happy can die, thank you.
Thank you, mate! *hugs and squeezes you*

Skizzy, upon hearing the bad start to my day, found something that she knew would cheer me up.

"For you, on your 21st...you deserve this because you have to wait another 42 days for the album"

THIS = ONE DROOL-WORTHY BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER.

The revelation of THAT particular tattoo leaves me oh-so very happy I'm doing cartwheels now.

Oral fixation, much?

MY BOYFRIEND IS MY MUSE! HAHAHA! Thank God for that Guitar Hero advert.

Favourite photo ever.

I have come to a conclusion that this man is a robot manufactured by an evil scientist to render people speechless and seduce innocent beings into having horrible, horrible thoughts.

Yes, you have succeeded in seducing me, now quit the smirking already! Let me enjoy the remaining bit of dignity I have left in myself. Don't taunt me!

I love you, woman. I did get him on my birthday after all. HAHA!

Thank you so much everyone for the gifts and wishes through Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, online, LiveJournal, text messages, snail mail and e-mails. I love you all sempiternally. Here's to more birthdays and happy occasions.

Right, I'm exhausted and my double whammy of aches isn't getting any better so I better go to bed.

I like doing stupid things.

This would be one of those moments I'd like to emulate an ostrich and duck my head into the ground.

I swear I am like the most idiotic person in the world right now.

Okay, here's the thing. I sent in my request for Light On for FlyFM's Pagi Show Stopper last week (you send in your request as to what song should end the show that morning and they'll call you up at about 9:30 to 9:50). I remember this stupid message I wrote like "If FlyFM is all about the music, we Word Nerds are all about the love (as quoted by the man himself)". I know, I am very stupid when it comes to writing messages. Don't judge me!

Since they didn't call me last week, I assumed they wouldn't call me since other people would be sending in their requests and such.

Guess what happened?

THEY THOUGHT TODAY WOULD BE A NICE DAY TO CALL ME AND CALLED ME THIS MORNING. THE DAY AFTER MY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY. WHILE I WAS BATHING.

DAMN EPIC FAIL OF THE HIGHEST PROPORTIONS! ARGH!!!

I want to go and hide in the cave and die-lah please, can?

(more updates about my birthday like tomorrow or something...I'm having a double whammy of aches: toothaches and headaches, and it's almost midnight)

I'll keep being me.

Things I Have Learnt for the Last 21 Years of my Life

People come and go, people come and go.

When people go, memories remain and linger on.

When people go, there are new people who come into your life.

You make or break my day.

Half of the things I learnt in life are not from the four walls of my classrooms or lecture halls.

They come from daily conversations with everyone from different walks of life.


There is no distinct difference between what is and isn't normal.

The line that separates the two is slowly fading away.

The most honest and genuine people in the world are not you or me or even the most religious people.

We are all sanctimonious actors.


Time will slowly but surely heal wounds.

If you want to mend broken bridges, don't think there is still a tomorrow.
Tomorrow may be too little too late.

Seek forgiveness and give it to people who deserve it.


My taste in men changes not as often as I change my underwear.

My obsessions have changed too.
They changed for the better, I guess.


You don't like what I do, well, it's not about you.


When you feel like sing your lungs out to an old yet random song, just do it.
Do it with people you genuinely love and loves you unconditionally.


Love and get hurt. That's the only way to learn.

Get hurt, break bones, bleed it out. Learn from those scars. You don't have to pretend to be strong all the time.


There comes a point of time in our lives where we will have to overcome our worst fears.

There will be changes, nothing is constant.

The only thing that is actually constant is our death.


There is a newer and safer way to vent your anger than breaking things into smithereens.


Family never lets you down and leave a light on for you even when it's bright.

When they do, there are friends who will guide you back home.

When they both fail, sometimes, all you need is just time for yourself. Take a minute just to breathe, and think of everything you wanted...and what you got instead.


What I know I lack in, I try to make do with what I have.

I know the difference between 'want' and 'need'.


It is okay to go a little crazy at times. Just make sure you have people to get crazy with, that's where the fun comes in.


Your vocabulary expands as you get older.


Don't be afraid to take risks. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Don't be afraid to be wrong. Life is, after all, a learning journey.


Dance like a lunatic in public, even if people stare at you.


Smile like you mean it.


Be nice to the ordinary everyday heroes. They are everywhere, it's just that you are too ignorant to notice them and you take them for granted.


Size does not matter.


If I could go back to the past, I'd like to tell my 16-year-old self that "It's not cool to be a homophobic person. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality".


Make fun of yourself. Laugh at your silly mistakes. The only way to appreciate humour is not by laughing at others, but more of laughing with others.

Happy 21st Birthday, RH. Here's hoping you learn more things as the years go by.