Thanks for loving me. You're doing it perfectly.

This is my favourite picture of myself right now. To me, I only look pretty when I am looking funny; not when I wear make-up.

*****

It's my parents' 30th wedding anniversary today.


30 years is no joke.


They had their own share of ups and downs, tears and laughs, screaming and shouting; yet they stuck it out for over 38 years (they spent 8 years courting before eventually getting hitched).

People have been throwing brick after brick in their faces, yet they ALWAYS are there for each other. 2009 would be the shittiest year for them, but I admire the way they handled all the unwanted pressure and how they were there to support one another.

I love the way my father tells me "Child, you need to have more faith in your Chelsea winning the league" every single time I get a little frantic over their lousy defense or the lack of goals.

I love the way my mother talks about the people/things I love and teases me about them. "YA ALLAH, HE'S SO PALE! NO WONDER YOU CALL HIM 'JEMBALANG'!".

I love how my father knows Adam Lambert because he's in the papers AND that I supported him during Idol. Father, in case you haven't noticed, there is a man who supports Arsenal who was on Idol. His name is David Cook. I like him more than I like Adam, thank you.
"So you know Adam came in second. Who came in first?"
"Who cares?!"

I love how my mother tells me the most random jokes and immediately understand things when I mention certain things to her that other people may not get.
"OMG YOU'RE SCOTT!"

I love them both, sempiternally.

Pa and ma, I know I may not be the most intelligent person in the world or the best daughter in the world, but I try my hardest. I just want to say I love you both very much. Happy anniversary and here's to many more anniversaries in the future. I love you both for being together through thick and thin, and for just being who you are. I love you for everything you have given and done for us. Don't let any nutcase tell you otherwise.

*****

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I sincerely hope 2010 will be a kick-ass awesome year for us all!

The reason why I have 10 versions of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas?

It's because it was the first song that YOU sang to me. Even if we only had one and a half years to share stupid stories and fights and jokes and tears, this was the first song you sang on that evening you went carolling on Christmas eve some 9 years ago.

You sang it to me, for me.

Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow.

This line gets me so much. I wished fate allowed us to stay together, but things happen for a reason, no?

I love you. Merry Christmas, wherever you may be.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Hi.

Twitter was down, so I decided to come here and blog.


MERRY CHRISTMAS.
JOYEUX NOEL.
FELIZ NAVIDAD.


I will come back later and talk more about why I have 10 versions of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. Crazy, me? Psssh, where did you get that idea from?

High school never ends.

The weekend was AMAZING.

The karaoke/birthday celebrations at Red Box, The Gardens was AWESOME. We had an insanely good time singing and laughing. I forgot how much I loved cheesy songs once upon a time. We even unleashed our inner rockstars. Fun, rocking good times. I already miss them. This needs to happen again.

The birthday party was not what I expected it to be but I had a wicked good time (although at one point I did come out and told my dad flat out that "I AM BORED" because I had no one to talk to). I laughed at my uncles for discussing about why we should all support England during the 2010 World Cup, the Barclays Premier League, and bald men. I seriously find it more interesting to listen to slightly tipsy uncles talk than listening to their kids. Old soul, maybe? One of my uncles told me to eat up on some delicacies because "Once you get to London, you won't get this awesome stuff there". I am truly going to miss them.

The high school reunion was a success! I had so much fun meeting my friends, some of whom I have not seen for almost 5 years. We all look the same pretty much. Some of us got a little more girly than when we were in high school, but past that, we're pretty much the same people.

Which brings me to point something out. It was pretty evident that even at this reunion, most of us sat with our own races. I sat with everyone because I'm neither here nor there. I mentioned this in a lecture once, where we had to share our worst cultural bias experience. We sit with our own kind. I'm mixed, so I mix with everyone because it's not stated in any holy book that I must befriend my own kind. It was so glaring that most of them sat with their own kind, eating what they brought and not what someone from the other race brought.

My friends always said I was different (the good kind of different) and that I never judged them. I treated everyone the same way I expect them to treat me. I call someone a 'friend' not because of their race, but because of a certain kind of understanding we have.

I apparently have look 'everything'. I can look Malay. I can look Chinese (The guy who sells salad near my uni thought I was Chinese. HAHAHA WTF I so fair now kah?). I can look Indian. Heck, I can even look Portuguese (I am NOT related to Cristiano 'pansy face' Ronaldo).

Rojak. They're delicious.


I guess I am like this because my parents are different too. They could've married someone from their own race but they didn't. They chose each other and taught us (my brother and I) what diversity meant.


Still, that mini-incident could not take away my happiness during the weekend. I had plenty to celebrate about with people who are mostly different from me, but they will ALWAYS be the same to me.


Pictures from said events are up in my December 2009 album in Facebook.

It's a half-faith blessing, for the lessons I've learned and never deserved.

Firstly, I must apologise for not updating for almost a month. I was tied up with assignments and presentations and defenses.

Right now, all I can taste is...
FREEDOM.

I have OFFICIALLY graduated from university. On the 10th of December, I sat for my last two papers and I was done. Alhamdulillah. I feel like I can finally exhale that breath I was holding in for the last 4 years.

Now, I can get married kick back and relax, and find a job before I continue with my Masters.

Yeah. Life has been nothing short of amazing right now.


This year, I made some new friends along the way who are just amazing. Age is nothing but a number when it comes to friendship. I love them, they make me feel somewhat normal.

My uni mates have been with me along the way too. They made me taller in more ways than one for which I am eternally grateful to them for. I am going to miss your jokes and banters.

I discovered new music and reignited some old loves. I lost some people in my life. I almost found love.


This year proved to be trying times for my parents. I am not happy about the things they had to deal with (not going to lie, it hurt me to see them hurt too), but I am proud of them for handling them in the best way possible: logically and practically. I am just amazed seeing them. For those awful and hurtful things to be said/done to them, they held it together and sat down and worked it out. Together. They have stood by each other for the last 30 years (this does not include the years they were courting) through thick and thin; blood, sweat and tears; arguments and jokes; and most of all, love.

While everyone was going out celebrating Hari Raya, my mother cried. It pained me to no end to see her like that. I had to help all of us hold ourselves together and I promised her that I would NOT let anyone hurt her and that we smarties (our running joke) would stick together to kick asses.

I would take the bat for them. I don't care if people say I am too dependent on them (which, hello, is pretty baseless and illogical), I love them and they're all I have.


I turned 22 this year. This year, in my opinion was the best birthday I've had in years.


I overcame one of my biggest fears - holding a knife. I also learnt to cook. I cooked chicken rendang, beef rendang, kuah kacang and chicken curry. Yeah, I know. I am awesome.


I have bought a number of dresses this year. This amuses my androgynous self. I am nowhere near the definition of girly (I belch like a boy. I swear like a sailor. I am not even close to being prim and proper) so having dresses and other girly outfits amuses me. TERRIBLY.


I am so blessed for everything that has happened in my life and for all the lessons I have learned - good or bad. It only serves to teach me to be a better person.


The coming few days will be ridiculously full of events.
I have a memorial service to attend tomorrow.
On Saturday, I have a karaoke celebration at noon AND a birthday party at night.
On Sunday, the long-awaited high school reunion is happening.


My life. It is, in a nutshell, PERFECT.