Won't you please help me?

I miss football.

I miss rugby.

I miss my friends.

*****

My father is so random.

Yesterday at the mall, he went to the pharmacy to ask for this ointment but they only had one that was mixed with steroids so he didn't buy it.

"Can you imagine they mixed it with steroids?"
"Yeah, I can't buy that"
"If you bought and ate it, you'd grow boobs!"
"Brooms?"
"Boobs!"
*keeps quiet*
*after 5 seconds*
"Oh..."
*starts laughing*


This evening, we were outside in our lawn and I have this tendency to compare the size of our palms and fingers together. So I started comparing the size of our feet.

"Eh, our feet are the same size!"
"Yes, but my feet size are 8 and a half"
"Mine's 8"
O_O
"Really ah?"
"Yes"
"My right foot is 8 and a half, my left is size 8"
"Eh, got such thing ah?"
"Ya"
"You know those white shoes you recently bought?"
"Yes?"
"I can fit into them"

My mother is always complaining to people about how she gets my shoes and not the other way around.

Damn it, why can't I grow at least an inch taller?!

*****

I'm almost done with my playlist. Shall post it up here tomorrow.

*****

One more year til this madness is done with.

One more year and I'll be leaving on a jet plane.

One more year.

*****

I suck in being a girl because I do not possess ladylike qualities people like.

I like sports. I sometimes belch like a boy. I am not stick-thin. I hate make-up and pink things. I can't cook to save my own life (I don't think someone can get by eating cookies for the rest of their life). I rather sleep than do anything. I like dinosaurs and cars and books more than dolls.

But you know what?
That's alright, I like myself the way I am. Your approval isn't needed.


Currently listening to:
Creep - Axium.

Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want...
You're so fucking special, yes you are...
I wish I was special.

I used to, anyway.

We're tossing pennies, making wishes to make it right

Do I regret saying no?
NO.

It's amazing how much I've changed. I remember when I was a kid, every time my dad would pick a dress and I would absolutely hate it with a burning passion (I don't do pink very well, thank you) and he'd go on and on about how nice I'd look in that dress and everything else. Just to evoke some sense of guilt in me so that I'd give in and get it.

This is the moment where I tell you that I'm falling apart,
and I'm stuck in reverse between the same damn lies.

I know, I give in easily to please people. It's a weakness of mine, I sort of wear it on my sleeve too much, as some of you might have already seen.


It's something I am proud of at times, not most of the times.

I hate to be the one who obliges to requests.

"Do you want this?"
"If you like it, take it"

I don't want something because someone says it looks nice on me.
I don't want something because I am forced into it.

It seems like lately, all I do when I buy something, is to see if I can use it for the future.

Or whether it is something I ought to have at this present moment.

That's exactly how I felt with that necklace.
I didn't want it nor did I need it.

Even if I was not in such a crappy mood, I would have said no as well.

Heck, you wouldn't believe what my dad said after I picked a red handbag which was:
01. multi-functional,
02. nice,
03. affordable,
04. practical, and
05. simple.

He told me "That bag is so cheap and looks so plastic-like. How about this one?".

The bag he showed me was RM300.

Like, hello. I am still in school, I don't own a credit card and I don't really see myself carrying a bag THAT expensive unless I am (a) married or (b) working.

I don't bloody care if it's the Malaysian MegaSales and it's at a slashed price or whatever.
I don't bloody care what people think of me already. I am already in everyone's bad books.
I don't bloody care anymore.


I don't want it.

All I want is to improve my lack of vocab to improve my standing in Facebook's Word Challenge.

Or just let me just listen to MY song and go "Sigh...perfect" at it like a little school girl with a mad crush.


For the people who taught me to scribble lyrics at the footnotes of any notes I take down AND tolerates my random moments of spazzing out when Magic Rainbow comes on the radio.
You two understand me like how a penguin recognises fish.


Currently listening to:
Optimistic to a Fault/Better Never Than Late - David Cook.

Not sure which is the title, apparently it's the latter and if this is on the upcoming album, I will be pleased as punch and vodka. The blog post title comes from a line from the song, by the way.


Hold on, someone wants to say something.


Hi, I am the friendly Scouser, any one of you who has a guy friend who is single and looking...please hook him up with my darling Roxanne.

I cannot take her undying obsession for David Cook and anything associated to him. It kills me slowly.
Oh God, she just spazzed out while listening to Magic Rainbow.

For the sake of my sanity and yours, if you want her to stop talking about him, PLEASE FIND HER SOMEONE TO LOVE AND EVENTUALLY MARRY.

Thank you.



Oh, you bitch. Now you know how I feel when you talk incessantly about Steven Gerrard. Don't listen to her. You know me better.

There is no four leaf clover, try again.

Today was fucking awful.

Yes, be surprised. I swore.

I don't want to talk about it.

I am skipping dinner because I am not a happy camper.

The low blood pressure symptoms are back. Oh joy.

I cried too much in one day. I had a breakdown. Wah, I sound human for once-lah kan?
*roll eyes*


Listening to this song just hit me. I never paid much attention to it, it wasn't one of my favourite songs.

But today, I realised how this song is exactly the summary of my fucking feelings today.

Hold - Axium
Takes a number, stands in line
'cause he doesn't feel like himself
And he's always played the wallflower
just cared for a sense of self
He plays on in spite of everything
disillusioned by his right
What makes it all go away
when you can't put up a fight, can't put up a fight?

Oh, but it's okay to breathe
your worries away
when everything and everyone try to lead you astray
Hold your own, hold your ground,
hold to life when you're down,
and always believe that there's a way back home

She's waiting on the answer,
a way to let them know
The thought of someone else inside her,
and the fear begins to grow
Warm tears feed dry hands
as she falls to the ground
It's strange how sadness presents itself
when there's no one around,
there's no one around

Oh, but it's okay to breathe
your worries away
when everything and everyone try to lead you astray
Hold your own, hold your ground,
hold to life when you're down,
and always believe that there's a way back home.


Judge me all you want. But you want to know something?
We're all fucking actors in a play on a stage.

Don't you dare think you are higher than me because between you and me, there's not much of a difference really.

We are all innocent.