Baby, believe me. It's only a matter of time.

Dear Frank Lampard,

If you want to leave, just do it already.
Don't make promises you can't keep.
For you, I will not weep.
I would if I was still 3.
Don't say "I love my people, I love my club" if you're not sincere,
So if you want to leave for Inter,
to rekindle that love affair with your ex-boss Jose,
I (and so will the rest of the world) will not stand in your way.
You're free to go,
I won't be fooled by your lies anymore.

Goodbye.

Very much not pining for you,
-me-


There. I have said it. Just go and stop dominating the backpages of my newspapers. Just go to Jose and continue with your sordid love affairs.

As seen in today's issue of the NST. Heh, even THEY can smell the love you two share.

Chelsea mean the world to me, so if you want to leave, go ahead. Go and be like Ronaldo, that pansy.

Just go, so that people would stop asking me "Eh your boy's leaving! Are you going to jump ship?".

Because I have half a mind to spray profanities on them.

Besides, I have a new boyfriend to make me happy.


That is my current wallpaper. The one that made someone go "HOLY MOTHER OF CANDLESTICKS, THAT MAN IS SEX ON TWO LEGS!". I swear, all of our conversations have some sexual connotations to it. I blame you, simply because I am innocent.


Random pic.

Whiskey coke and a slice of lemon.

"Woman, you eat cookies, you drool over cookie, now you drink cookie???! That's just wrong on all levels!"


Honestly, I can never have a proper decent conversation with you anymore.

Look out, baby because here I come.

I actually typed out a few posts, but they're all saved as drafts because I don't want them to be published yet due to some inexplicable reasons.

Sorry, I haven't been in the best of moods of late. I have been having nightmares, I'm too afraid to fall asleep lately.

*****

I swore I cried when I saw Kimi Raikkonen's car hit the back of Adrian Sutil's Force India car.
I was highly impressed with the way Adrian Sutil drove last night, he was up to fourth!
And to see him tear up after missing what could have been 5 valuable points...my goodness.
I felt like my heart was stabbed and sliced into pieces.

But, yay Lewis! After what happened, he won.

Two out of my three favourites won.

I shouldn't feel sad.

*****

SACKED.

Thank you.

Now let Jose go back to Chelsea so that I can stalk him when they come to KL in July, please.

*****

I have been busy doing things. I was trying to find a muse for my Human Personality assignment.

I was going to be absolutely lazy and decided to stick papers and pictures on my art block.

I am getting lazier now. Wow, what a shocker.
*rolls eyes*

Just because I have mastered the art of making chocolate chip cookies (or the art of loving thy kitchen), it doesn't mean I've found my creativity bone too.

BUT.

I have found my muse.

His name is David Cook.

*hears groans*

Shut up, I say!


No, I am not drawing his face! Oh my goodness, didn't I tell you I have no creativity bone in my body? Have you not been paying attention to me AT ALL?
Shame on you.


And uh, writing and pasting pictures all over his pretty face?
You must be joking. Why in the world would I do that? I am not crazy!



You'll see soon enough. I'll show it to you soon enough. After Friday. Haha.


I'll give you a hint.

I don't know anybody in this room and I'm not wearing pants.

Hahaha, you know this!

*****

My father is so random.

I started ranting to my parents about how this particular group who believe that the school uniform is too sexy (yeah, I know...WTF) were also the same people who thought Gwen Stefani's sense of dressing is too sexy (yeah, again, WTF...my mother thinks Gwen Stefani isn't that sexy).

Then suddenly, he talks about watching the TV after the news. He said he was watching some video clips, and then he saw one that really caught his attention.

"The song was really nice, I like the beat"
"Who was it?"
"Rihanna or something"
*stares at mother*
*stares at me*
"Umbrella?"
"NO! THAT SONG IS AWFUL! It's some Don't Stop the Music or something"
*starts laughing hysterically*
"Eh that's the song David sang right?"
*nods and continues laughing*

(You see, we were thinking that he was going to complain about how sexy the artiste's dressing was...he built up the story to a climax...then he goes and says "I like that Don't Stop the Music song". Way to ruin my expectations, uncle)

Great, now the image of my father watching the hipshaking version of that song is etched in my mind.

I need to get it out.


Currently listening to:
Get Ready - American Idol top 12 group medley.

Blue is the colour. Indefinitely.

I meant to post earlier, but I was too elated for words to say, all I did was cry.


Last week, I said I smelt Moscow. Today, I knew I wasn't wrong.

I woke up at 2:20AM with Michael Johns serenading me, telling me to "Dream On". I got to the living room with David (name has been changed due to constant whining of a certain member of society). I was alone.

I went to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee which the mother made (she asked me the night before if I was staying up to watch the match and if I wanted a pot of coffee).

I sat there with David on my lap, talking to Renny online. The match made me tense, at one point I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Didi missed a glorious opportunity to score and I started yelling loudly at the TV.

At that point, the father woke up and came down to watch the match with me. My screams woke him up =/

And then he started saying how much he wanted Chelsea to win because Liverpool ruined Arsenal's season (or something like that). That's a first.

And then the brother came down and headed straight for the kitchen. As soon as he came out of the kitchen, Didi scored.

The brother got mad with his team and ran off to continue sleeping.

Score: 1-0. Aggregate: 2-1.


Almost reaching Moscow. Or so I thought.

Nando Torres had to score for Liverpool.

Score: 1-1. Aggregate: 2-2.

I almost burst into tears because we were the better side, we deserved it. We were THIS close of Moscow and glory, I didn't want it to be taken away like that.

I feared a penalty shoot-out would seal our fate.

Renny and I began praying to Lampsy's mother to ask her to help our boys once more.

I got hungry and the father was happily munching on something, forgetting to offer me some of it. Hmmph. Stingy uncle. When I'm nervous I either eat or bite my nails, like crazy. So, that was how nervous I was.

And then, he starts talking about Arsenal and the what could've beens for them. Somehow I don't know where the January transfer season topic came into the picture. I love him, he's so random.

Thank God for extra time.

I honestly was sobbing when Lampsy took the penalty and scored it. I cried. He dedicated it to his mother, which was sweet and lovely. I just had to cry.

And then Didi scores another. I started sobbing. In front of my dad, which is VERY strange. I yelled "MOSCOW! WE'RE GOING TO MOSCOW!" out of pure elation.

Score: 3-1. Aggregate: 4-2.


Oh dear, I got scared when Babel scored for Liverpool a few minutes before the whistle was blown.

Score: 3-2. Aggregate: 4-3.

The final whistle was finally blown, and I have never cried this much for a football match. I was too happy.

I called my trusted 17 years also known as the eejit to say "This could be our year".

My Liverpool kawan told me hours before the match:
"No matter what happens during the match and which team wins, Man United must be stopped"

They will be. Moscow will be painted blue.

Blue is the colour, football is our game,
We're all together, and winning is our aim,
So cheer us on through the sun and rain,
'Cause Chelsea, Chelsea is our name.


I have to say I am sorry to my friends who support Liverpool, you all do realise I am a closet Liverpool fan so it means I care about you and your team.

And I got really mad at the commentator for saying that ugly Grant did what Jose couldn't do. What the hell was that about? This is the team Jose left him with (save Nicolas Anelka), they are STILL Jose's boys! NOT AVRAM GRANT'S!

DAMN YOU TO HELL, YOU STUPID COMMENTATOR!

Even the father said "Actually they don't really need ugly Grant to coach them, they have everything they know and learnt from Jose so they are capable of doing it on their own". See, I knew he had a soft spot for Jose after all.


MOSCOW. MOSCOW. MOSCOW.


Right, so can someone buy me a ticket to Moscow then? I can go hook up with my Russian spy/best friend there! Whee!

DONATE TO MY "LAWATAN SAMBIL BELAJAR KE MOSCOW" FUND GENEROUSLY, PLEASE.

I love my boys, I am so proud of them too =)

I love Chelsea FC, David Cook and toe socks. Not in that exact order.

Pain don't hurt.

Damn you, Michael Johns, you are making me deaf.

*sulks*

*****

So today, this little missy here paid a visit to the doctor. No, no, don't worry, she isn't ill. She went to see him for her monthly keloid-shrinking jab.

Her once MASSIVE (don't laugh, I know why you're laughing, but seriously, stop it!) keloid has now shrunk but it is still a little big.

As we all know, this 20-going-on-21-year-old-but-behaves-like-she-is-13 hates jabs. She can handle different kinds of pains, but not ones that involves needles.

On the way to the clinic, all she thought of was "Pain don't hurt" and she chanted it like it was her mantra of the season.

In between, she was busy texting her mate who was doing her assignments.

She got into the doctor's room and sat like a brave soldier and spoke to the doctor about life and other related matters while thinking of songs like Islands in the Stream (you HAD to bring it up), which was a different story by itself.

The usual routine began.
He then sprayed the liquid nitrogen. Next came the needle of doom, and for the finale, the stabbing jabbing of the keloid.

What usually was just 4 jabs to the keloid, turned out to be like 8 stabs to the bone (okay, not entirely true, but still).

Throughout the time she was stabbed incessantly with the needle, she softly chanted "Pain don't hurt" repeatedly. The doctor probably thought she was muttering profanities under her breath and continued.

Soon, her painful ordeal with the said needle of doom ended, and she left the clinic feeling relieved that it was over, but resumed chanting. She felt it gave her assurance.

The chanting resumed while she was having lunch, because that's when the pain began to kick in. She complained to her mate who replied with something so adorable it made her forget her pain for a bit.

She is feeling slightly relieved as she feels that her ears are deafened by the soothing voices of random people. She is also psyching herself up to forget her pain by chanting her mantra.

Pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt.

*****

The new baby is coming home tomorrow!

*yelps in excitement*

*****

Something to cheer myself up.

Kleenex pass! I have proof! And I told her, the world would be an awesome place to live in if more men were like him. I am not wrong. Just insane.


Hello, handsome. I want to say completely inappropriate things to you, but you are married. And don't be delusional, he looks nothing like the mad Jens Lehmann, okay? *shows fist*


The mother doesn't like your haircut. But who cares what she thinks (she adores the smaller David...mothers!), I think it makes you sexy.

*wants to say something completely funny but refrains self from doing so*

Oh and the studio version of Little Sparrow...damn. Awesome. Made me pee in my shorts.

Okay, now I need to shut up and rest. My arm's killing me!

Pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt.

Chant with me!



And Mateja Kezman, I miss you and you are right. We've lost the team spirit we had with Jose, but we won't give up.

Baby, it's all right now.

You know, for someone who is quite politically ignorant, I was relying heavily on updates of the elections through my good Liverpool kawan. I was out and about in town and most of the people I was out with were concerned with the election results (that would include the parents).

Cries of "Don't believe all this, it's probably just rumours" and "How do you know?" rang across the hall after the prayers.

For once, I didn't feel insignificant.


Apparently there was a fight in our constituency regarding some postal votes. Instantly, being a good sister, I called the brother and told him to stay at home. I was afraid of going home as well. Who would know if they would pelt us with rocks or sticks when we got home?

Yes, I have a very highly active imagination.


Am I glad for the results? Quite frankly, I don't even care. I choose to be ignorant of politics.

*****

I've got three words for you:
Bring. Back. Jose.


I've said it once, I'm saying it again. Bring him back. Ugly Grant is ruining my squad.


Oh and another 2 words:
HIDUP BARNSLEY!

I shall be rooting for them in the upcoming round!

"Oh well, look at it this way. Your club stayed the longest in the competition compared to ours. There's something you can be proud of"

Pfft. I was sure it was going to be our year again. What does ugly Grant do?

Put his first team against a lower league side, leaving out Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard.

You think just because you beat Olympiakos, you're that great-lah, is it?

Fuck you.


And WTF happened to the rugby team?! GRRRRRR...

I was expecting a repeat of the performance against France two weeks ago! Danny Cipriani shouldn't have been dropped from the squad! So what he went to the pub, not like he was behaving badly, heavily intoxicated or disturbing the peace, he was just giving his friend the tickets to the match! It is a little unfair.


I AM SO ANNOYED!


Mate's right. Elections are bad luck.

How many words does it take?

I had a very long rant planned up in my head since last night.
But something really changed my mind.

Reading about it just made me cry.

“I still feel Chelsea is part of me. I have Chelsea in my heart forever and I wish them only good things.

“I have been gone for five months and you wouldn’t get a bad word from me.”

Blues fans would welcome back Mourinho with open arms as they have never taken to his replacement, Avram Grant.

And he played down a link to Liverpool by saying: “I wouldn’t feel very comfortable coming back and working with another club after Chelsea.”

Why are you so god-damn gorgeous-lah? =(

Yes sir, come home. I will run across my neighbourhood naked if you come back. You have no idea how much you've been missed.

But please, before you come home...just don't kill us. Only Avram Grant.


Good things should be posted today, since it's Friday and all.


Rants are for tomorrow. Pergilah mengundi, jangan malas.



And oh Danny Cipriani, why? *shakes head*

I'll be the fly on your wall.

OHMYGODIAMSOHAPPY!!!

3-0!!!


Who says a wood and a lamp can't work together?


And oh. Que sera, sera.

*****

And quote of the day goes a little something like this.

"You were small, now you've blossomed"

Oi, pervert. I will complain to your girlfriend and she will whack the hell out of you.

*****

I had a minor problem with clothes yesterday. So, I gathered my fashion experts *coughs* and asked them to pick a nice red top for me.

And guess what? I picked this top that I bought when I was 12 and it fits.

Oh yes, I do not lie. It fit perfectly and made me look thin.

I don't like wearing red much because I look fat when I wear red.

This is a surprise.

*****

I have new shirts. And a damaged wallet.

-_-

*****

"Italy or Spain," Mourinho said when asked about his future. "Afterwards I want to go back to England and finally be national coach of Portugal."

There's still hope.

I believe.

*****

I'm feeling optimistic. I am watching Clocks! Random things like this remind me of our stupid conversations.


I just seem to have a thing for rocker boys and their guitars, don't I?

I have heard about your butterflies.

Quite randomly, I love taking pictures of the sky. Especially when the sky is this gorgeous.


Pretty, no?

I just don't get it when people call me crazy when I take pictures of the sky. Hello, if I take candid pictures of you looking like an illegal immigrant or looking drunk, then you are permitted to call me crazy.

Guess what? I ain't crazy, I'm the (AV) daydreamer.

Daydreamer what are you dreaming of?
Daydreamer what are you thinking of?
Daydreamer I wanna dream with you
And leave it all behind
I say welcome to the dreamtime.

*****

So, you want to see how my room looks like now, eh?

Not much to it...just randomly added some things in an attempt to make it nicer.

The room in full view.


Yes, I have a 45-year-old man's face plastered on my cupboard. And anyone wants that poster of Ryan Star? I have another one. Leave me a message, okay?


Chelsea book and DVD. Tissue box. Random charm dolls. Butterfly spinner. Hour glass. Random lips figurine. The Killers' Sam's Town wristband.


Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can. Do YOU realise how old this is?


Random stuff. Yeah, spot the odd one out and you get a special prize.


This is VERY old. My friend did this for our class. It was so pretty I didn't want to leave it there to be thrown away.



I only posted them up because they were pretty artistic. I'm not an alcoholic. I swear.


The dressing table.


Holy moley, BUTTERFLIES!


Study table with lots of random things. Like a mooncake box.


Guess where I stole this from?





MORE butterflies! Yes, I noticed the last one is pink. What's your point?


I love this. You can have Gabriel Gray. I want Peter Petrelli.

Now before you ask, how come I didn't put up Stevie G or Xabi Alonso on the door...this is to show what you mean to me.

Nah. Handsome Finnish dude. Who no longer drives for my team. I even found my "Massa rocks my world" thing. Hahaha, oh the things we did when we were young! There we were...sitting for PMR and we wrote "Kimi is so sexy!" in our textbooks. Haha.


Butterfly bubble blower. Open Mic Nite =) . The father's old office tag. He let me keep it for no reason.

Now all that's missing is a nice poster of Lewis Hamilton and Jonny Wilkinson. And Crouchy. Anyone willing to donate?


Oh yeah, anyone wants a BIG poster of Thierry Henry? It's really big. I can't put it up since I'm not really a big fan of his. So if you want, just let me know.

*****

Dear Lewis Hamilton,

Fuck those bigots. They have no lives and don't know how to spell. You're way better than that.

Can't wait for March! This could be your year. And be nice to Heikki, he seems like a rational, non-arrogant guy.

Very much supporting you,
-me-

Honestly, people. Get a life. Bloody racists should be marooned off to a deserted island and be allowed to do whatever the hell they want to do with their lives. Like making babies or chanting jibes at each other.

*****

I spent money on two earrings. Definitely worth it. The mother accidentally threw one of my earrings that I adored since it was a gift from a friend. I have no idea how anyone can see that shiny things are rubbish. And I lost half a pair of earrings in the train. Don't ask, I don't know how it happened.

And I am ever so tempted to buy shoes.


SAVE, WOMAN. SAVE MONEY.

Target of saving RM100 a month was met for the month of January. February's going to make me insanely broke, don't think I can meet the target.

Help.

Dead.

Hello Jose Mourinho,

Happy 45th Birthday. I miss you. Come home, will you?

Favourite quote for life:

For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football.

*****

We saw some cute kittens today.

"Can we keep them please?"
"I'll keep them and leave you here"
"Why should they get my room?"
"They cause less problems"
"You have to bathe them and clean up after them more than you have to do for me"
"Plus you have to feed them"
"Can we leave her here and take the kitty?"
-.-"

He wants to trade me for a kitten. WTF.

At least the mother wants to keep me because she loves me.

*****

I have to wear make-up later. Expect horrendous results.


I love that dress, but she says I should get something that plays down the boob size. WTF.

And I am bloody hungry. Bern, why in the name of Xabi Alonso did you show me that Cuppacakes site?!

Now I am sitting here, looking at all these lovely cupcakes. Cannot-lah like this. Surely I'll get fat and be grumpy when I put on weight.

So, NEVER EVER SHOW ME FOOD AT MIDNIGHT OR AFTER THAT. I'm supposed to be losing weight, so help with the cause okay and make sure I stick to it!


Hmmph. Evil people I call friends.

Of fishnets, hattricks, and ugly people.

You know you're in for it when old people start beating up younger kids. Shame on you! Want me to beat all of you up, is it! The only player who didn't get involved in the fight was Tomas. See, Librans are peace-loving creatures.

I actually cried seeing William Gallas during the post-match interview. Not when he scored the goal. Because he didn't gloat about scoring against his former club AND I miss him even more than before. How pathetic is that?

I know wherever Jose Mourinho is, he would have been laughing watching us play Arsenal. He would have been laughing at Roman Abramovich and ugly Grant and saying "I could've done better than you, bitch!". He certainly could have.

Yes, I can really imagine him smirking like this. Really.

I was a bit surprised to see Arsene Wenger not smiling/breaking into a grin during his post-match match interview. I mean usually when Arsenal win, he's happy but he tries to be subtle about it but marginally fails. I say he misses Jose. What do YOU think?

I don't feel sad that we lost to Arsenal and Man United. At least we didn't lose to Bolton, Middlesbrough or Reading (or teams in the bottom half of the table). Tragic, really.

You see, it is true. We play like rubbish without Drogba. I miss him. The team can cope without JT. I am being honest here. At one point, the phrase "Without John Terry, we are like jelly" had some truth to it. But now, if he doesn't play, it's okay. The team can play well. Better, in fact.

But if anything were to happen to Didier, Lampsy, Riccy and Carlo/Petr (they are ONE), Chelsea are in deep shit. I'm not slagging the other players off, but look, isn't it true?

I don't blame Petr for the goal. Ben Haim should've marked William Gallas better. People make it sound like Petr scored an own goal. I know he is ever reliable, yes. We all know that. But consider this. He just played on Tuesday. That was his first match since injuring his hamstring. He is human and he is allowed to make mistakes, okay. Don't make it sound like his brains went wonky and scored an own goal. Do you remember how he was injured in October last year against Reading and only to come back in January to let Liverpool score two goals past him in Anfield? It was his first game after coming back from being kicked in the head. Cut the man some slack-lah. Bloody pundits. It is partly his fault, but our defense is to be blamed, as well. He is only human, after all.


Like I said, I am happy we didn't lose to some club trying to fight the relegation battle. Losing to the top two teams isn't exactly a bad thing. Dropped points aside, we have hope. All we need is faith (am not liking the fact I'm being spiritual and religious about this).

But I blame Roman Abramovich, ugly Grant, fishnets, the abomination and William's mohawk. Damn it.

*****

And Rafa, put Crouchy on in the first half next time!

Ugh, and that gayboy really needs to be slapped. Honestly.

"OMG, you guys had ALL your players in the box and no one stopped Tevez from scoring!"

Eh, I counted. 11 players, including Reina. I told you, whenever the opposing teams have a corner, EVERY LIVERPOOL PLAYER ON THE PITCH WILL BE DEFENDING IN THE BOX. I am observant, but I don't drink teh o =p

Some sad person texted me from Anfield (bitch, you could've taken me along!):
"I'm coming home now and when I get back, I expect to see a bowl of curry laksa for me"

Tsk tsk. Poor thing.

*****

Carling Cup quarter-finals this week. Chelsea are playing Liverpool on Thursday morning. Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

Toodles.

P/S: Klang has THE best banana leaf rice meal ever. The rasam is awesome!
P/P/S: Guess who's got Blake Lewis' latest album, Audio Day Dream? It's fantabulous!

I thought you were special.

Dear Jose Mourinho,

If this happens, I know WHAT will or might happen next.

As much as I love you, don't take my sunshine away.

Very much speechless,
-me-

*****

WTF. Riccy is OUT FOR 8 WEEKS.

WTF. WTF. WTF.

Great. First, the captain is out. Then, it's our goalie, now it's one of the best defenders in the club.

WTF.

*****

The Arsenal fan at home is gloating. He's never gloated much.

Pfft. Damn annoying, okay. That's worse than hearing Liverpool fans making fun of Chelsea.

*****

As much as I want you back, I don't want to see you hurt yourself along the way.

*****

I'm going swimming tomorrow!

Hehehe!

Heaven ain't close in a place like this.

I have a strong chance of dying of extreme stress one of these days. A slow and less painful death.

Oh well, I've always dreamt of dying peacefully.

My feet hurt. My head's spinning. The monthly visit has come to screw up my judgment and all other things. I lack sleep and patience and tolerance. I have no time to watch the telly or reply messages in Friendster, MySpace or even Facebook. Okay...maybe not Facebook. You can't take my mouse away.

I haven't even go out and celebrate Eid like a normal person. Well, partly anyway...the mother has been ill since the day before Eid, so we couldn't go out anywhere.

The father planned to take us on a roadtrip to Seremban tomorrow, but then other things came up and therefore resulting in the father cancelling the trip. Bummer. Sigh...I'm so disappointed. Even when I broke it down to the father, he sounded really disappointed. I hate feeling guilty over this. I was so eager to finally get out of my own house instead of staying in there like a refugee for ONCE.Imagine making your own father disappointed-lah time and time again? For once you try to be nice and say "Okay, for you I will" one day, and the next day you go "Cannot go. Got project to do. My friend picked that day". WTFness in the highest order.

The next thing I'm going to say to him if ever he expects anything from me is "Don't ask. I live for today, not tomorrow or Sunday or Christmas". Rude, yes...but it's the truth. "I'm a bloody disappointment to everyone, so don't depend on me to say okay all the time and do it for you".

Ah well, there'll be more of these trips in the future. I can't be upset for things like this. But still I'm his little disappointment.

I haven't even bloody studied for my last mid-term paper this Saturday. I'm screwed, right. Tell me about it. And he thinks I'm all systems go. I've disappointed you yet again, father. Forgive me.


Hopefully, listening to The Killers would help ease the pain a bit.

Random note: The new pants I bought nearly fell to my feet just now. It was at my hipbone (above the thigh) just now and it was so uncomfortable to pull it up all the time. When I got home, some INTELLIGENT being yanked it down.

Bugger, I slap you, don't be sorry ah?

*****

Dear England,

Three words:

What.

The.

Fuck.

Very annoyed and in a horrible mood,
-me-


Heh, 2-1 down and that's when you decide to substitute players! Brilliant! Oh and next time, put Lampsy on for God's sake. If at all there's a next time, anyway. I don't bloody care if you think Stevie G or Gareth Barry made significant contribution to the last two games, just put him on. Not putting him on only justifies the boos and contradicts your statement of how talented and great he is for England. Even the father who hates his guts when he plays for Chelsea thought he should've started today! It's not easy to get him to say nice things about Lampsy like that honestly. He could've scored one too had you decided to put him on right from the start.

Oh, and thanks for making Jamie Carragher quit. I would've rather seen him play than Sol Campbell. Honestly.

AND FOR THE LOVE OF SHINY THINGS, PUT CROUCHY ON! Would it hurt you to put him on? He may seem to be quite unstable at times, but please. He has scored 12 strange goals (okay not all 12 are strange) in 21 games, so you could've at least let him play and try to score another strange goal!

I'm all for making Jose Mourinho the England manager. Who's with me?

And I say that you're just fine.

I was up at 5 for sahur. Yes, my sleeping time has gone absolutely wonky. Very horrible.

And I decided to watch Channel 711 (the things ASTRO do to make me die faster). They had the Ellen show.

And there was this 11-year-old girl who can hypnotise lizards and put them in outfits/poses.

All she did was just rub the lizard's belly and it would be hypnotised for at the most 30 minutes.

Seriously, a cicak whisperer?

*****

Today, my crazy Filipino lecturer (I have valid reasons to call him crazy) was talking bout some interesting facts he found out from a survey done by FHM.

**Warning: The results of the survey were not tabulated by me, it's just what I heard today in class. This post may contain pictures that are either suitable or not suitable for little children. I am merely doing this to entertain myself because I am tired and grumpy**

Apparently, males with the healthiest bodies come from Holland because they ride bicycles more than they drive.

Hmmm...let's see if this is true shall we?

Exhibit A:

*imagines him on a bicycle*
*starts sobbing for stupid reasons*

Errm...let's proceed to our next male specimen.

Exhibit B:

Lies! Lies! I protest!!! He drives!


Anyways, according to the survey, males from Italy have the worst bodies.

Honestly, this cannot be true.

How can ANYONE in the right frame of mind say they don't have the fittest body?! The hotness in Fabio Cannavaro won't be happy. No, not even Zambrotta or Pirlo.


Next...the Portuguese were the considered as the most nutritionally-adequate ones (okay, I am not remembering the whole categories because the class was at 9 in the morning...a 12-hour lapse doesn't help) because they eat fresh vegetables.

Exhibit A-D: Hmmm...okay. Makes sense.


Exhibit E: Makes perfect sense to me. Seriously.


Exhibit F: Oh yes, makes perfect sense, especially if spotted with exhibit E.


Exhibit G: Makes no sense. The pic is only here for the mate who tolerates my nonsense.


We move on to the Spaniards. Apparently, the Spanish boys are more stressed because they're religious.

Exhibit A: I guessed he's stressed.


Exhibit B: I think he's stressed, that's why he didn't score on Saturday.


Oh...apparently the Dutch boys are the ones who have more extra-marital affairs.

Hmm...this pic proves nothing. It's just here because I didn't know which other pic to put up.


Lastly, the Portuguese men have the most sex in a week.

Now we know the story with him and the escorts.


Moral of the story: Don't believe everything you read about surveys. Unless it's from a credible source, of course. Therefore, I strongly suggest for all of you to wait until I come up with my own reliable survey.

*****

I was about to fall asleep in class, when the lecturer decided to call my name loudly so that I can answer a question.

At times like this, I rue the fact that he knows the father and the brother.

I Am NOT ever going to plan to fall asleep in class again.

You want me to love you?

Oh Avram Grant, we love Jose Mourinho more than we love you. Seriously.

You know why? It's simple. His winning mentality suited everyone.

Yours? Hmm...for lower league clubs, maybe yes. Premiership? Hell no.

Plus, he looks really good EVEN when he's moping. How many people do you know can mope and look good at the same time?

I was very pleased to see the fans at the Bridge chanting Jose's name. Even I caught myself chanting his name.

You know what Chelsea needs? They need The Special One. NOT YOU.

Oh, "Tell me, did you love your wife from the first meeting?" ?

There's such a thing called love at first sight. So it would consider as love at the first meeting. I am not stupid, just blind.

I don't care if it's a draw and our unbeaten home record is still intact. We haven't scored in the last four games. And you said we'd be playing entertaining football.

I really don't see how entertaining a goalless draw is.

Oh and Didier got sent off AND JT's injured? Brilliant.

I love my club.

God knows what will happen on Thursday against Valencia.

So, no, Avram Grant. I choose not to love you. I'd rather love Sam Allardyce instead.

*****

But of course, I am happy after this happened.

*stands on weighing scale*
"At least tell me I haven't gained a kilo or something"
*checks weight*
"OHMYGOD! I lost half a kilo"
*squeals with happiness*

Which means...I've lost 3.5 kilos.

*glee*

It's the only time of the year I love. Because I get to lose weight.
*is planning on how to lose more*

*****

"Rotiman got injured =( "
One nasty tackle, that one. And why do you like Rotiman so much? Don't you love Stevie G anymore?

"FREDDIE! UNDERWEAR MODEL!"
"Can see his CK undies or not?!"
Perverts.


I'm thinking of getting rid of a striker now. Not quite sure who, though.

P/S:"Eeks, 6 days more!". Honestly I have no idea why she's excited when I'm not.


Edited at 18:24:
OMG LEWIS!!! AND I WATCHED!!!

That boy is just so cute.
"I never said I was blaming myself"
Right on. Oh yes, two more races to go! Whee!!!
*jumps around like a mad leprechaun*

Oh, can I kill you with this?


The boy's hair. Oh God. Fernando Torres is so undeniably pretty. This is what i meant by wanting a lover who has hair like this when I sneak up on him in the morning when he's fast asleep.

No, no, I don't like Liverpool. Don't even try to sway me.