I want you to know my name.

Random stories of the past five days.

01. I HATE PEOPLE WHO WALK SLOWLY.
Especially in shopping malls. I went crazy over these two couples who were cuddling each other and walking like they owned the god-damn place! Old people with children are excused. Yes-lah, I'm being a cow. I just dislike slow-walking people. I actually shouted: "OMG I CAN'T BEAR SLOW-WALKING PEOPLE!!! MOVE!!". Heh, yes, contrary to popular belief, I actually DO have a low-patience level.

02. Congested trains are good ways for perverts to get touchy-feely with you.
Apparently, these few boys thought it would be fun to 'feel' people rushing to get out of the train. I heard one of them say "You got to feel them up, lucky you". WTF. Young retards finding pleasure from touching other people. Is this what society is coming to?

03. Old men think I have a sexy bum.
Yes. Apparently it was so sexy, the old China man wanted to touch it. In the bloody train! While getting out of the train, he wanted to touch my posterior, because EVERYONE was trying to get out to the bloody train which was packed like a can of sardines at 5:30 PM and like the young boys, this old man thought it would be a perfect time to get all touchy-feely. The mother saw it and pushed his hand away and gave him a death glare.

04. Someone wants to take up pole dancing.
Hahaha! Long story short: We blame Blake Lewis and track number 3.

05. Miss prospective future shares the same birthday with mate and Fernando Torres.
No fair! *pouts*

06. The father thinks my brother has hair like Fernando Torres.
O.M.G.W.T.F. *dies* IT IS NOT TRUE!

07. People assume I am STILL in school.
This uncle asked me "So what form are you in?". It is nice for a change to be seen as a young girl rather than being asked "Miss, do you have kids at home?" . It is flattering and it also further proves I'm NOT marriage material. Haha.

08. My cravings only happen when I am hormonally-balanced.
Shouldn't it be the other way around?

09. Audio Day Dream makes a great album to dance to.
True. Hence the pole-dancing drama. Haha.

10. It is fun to make fun of people who are contemplating marriage and also people who are already married.
You get to hear all kinds of weird things about them as a couple and pretty insightful things of marriage.

11. We can't tell the difference between Sergio Ramos and David Beckham.
How woeful. Hahaha, hey, it's not our fault those ProSoccer Dolls of Becks look like Sergio! Maybe we need to get our eyes checked.

12. I had fun tonight watching D'Arranged Marriage.
Hey, it's not easy for one man to play 9 characters with such great enthusiasm and perfect in detail (especially all the female characters), and dance like he's Shah Rukh Khan.

This is awesome.
Father: Not only will you bring shame to our family, you will bring shame to your dick!
Son: Shame to my dick?
Father: Yes, shame to your dick! If you divorce your wife, it only says one thing: You're gay. And do you know what they say about gay Indian men?
Son: No, dad. I don't. What do they say about gay Indian men?
Father: They sleep with other men!!!

Trust me on this, it's hilarious.

13. The brother eats like a chicken.
According to the father, the brother eats like a chicken. Yes, I know. I eat less than a rat, he eats more than a chicken. What terrible children the parents have. *shakes head*

14. I am not rich.
Just because I study in a fancy college, go for massages and facials, and shop in Bangsar for groceries, it doesn't mean I am filthy rich. I am a little irked at the fact that someone assumes I am rich. "Why don't you buy a laptop instead of a new PC?". First of all, I just bought my Tomas (monitor for the uninitiated) a year ago and it's still pretty. The only problem with my PC is that the CPU is being a bigger cow than I am. So, why splurge the money on things I want, when I can splurge it on things I need? Be practical, for the sake of hash browns.

15. The mother thinks some naughty people are going to kidnap Tomas (the doll, I mean).
I think she meant you. Haha.

16. I want Theodore.
Bloody cute thing made my heart melt. So bloody adorable. Can we keep him?

17. I slept at 8:30PM yesterday and woke up at 7:30 this morning.
Wow. The road trip took a lot of my energy. I'm surprised I slept that long. Shows you how knackered I am.


So right. I'm tired and I am going to bed now. Good night.

You and me, babe. How about it?

I am resisting the urge to gloat. Because I care.

Mini gloat-entry after this.

*****

We were out yesterday, we went to The Gardens and I went ballistic over the shoes there. Absolutely lovely.

It would be nice if this Christmas someone threw me money from the sky for me to buy things. Or Santa sent me a rich and young Russian billionaire who isn't Roman. Haha.

And I bought books. And CDs.

Sawdust (The Killers) and Audio Day Dream (Blake Lewis).
*stares at poster*
"THE ALBUM IS OUT!!!"
*jumps around*
"I swear when you come out, you regress to a five-year-old"

And this happened before the movie.
"Why does that look like Steven Gerrard?"
"IT IS!!"
*drools*
"Now we know why they couldn't beat Man U. They were drunk before the match!"
"HAHAHAHA"
*ignores and continues drooling*

Carra is sexy, by the way.

You're no better. Pot.

Next stop: Pavillion.

*****

I swear if Liverpool beat us in our own backyard, I would have thrown a bitch fit.

Liverpool 0 - Chelsea 2.


Goal number 99.


And yes, maybe his time is now.


=( Not happy Crouchy got sent off.


AND OMG RICCY IS BACK!!! He's been missed. Terribly.


Can you please stay at home and rest?!

The father's right. The drunkards.

*****

Mini gloat-entry over.

Random pics later. As in tomorrow.

Toodles, a road trip is up next.

Silence is golden, but I choose noise.

Remember the two kittens I named Mikel and Xabi (mate said to name them Xabi and Stevie)?

Well, I only saw Xabi. Mikel had been bought by someone =(

But I saw many other kitties! Pretty.

I want Mikel...

*****

I spotted this Dutch Lady yoghurt van outside this restaurant I was eating in.

*points*
"I am going to hijack that van!"

At that point, the van driver came back and drove off.

"NO!!!"

Hey, I could've gotten free supply of yoghurt, okay!

"But you can't drive"

Bitch.

*****

I have red marks on my back. They look fab. Seriously.

*****

Will be out today, hence the early morning update.


And can I just say this?


Audio Day Dream is F-A-N-T-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!


How many words does it take to say I'm through?

Of fishnets, hattricks, and ugly people.

You know you're in for it when old people start beating up younger kids. Shame on you! Want me to beat all of you up, is it! The only player who didn't get involved in the fight was Tomas. See, Librans are peace-loving creatures.

I actually cried seeing William Gallas during the post-match interview. Not when he scored the goal. Because he didn't gloat about scoring against his former club AND I miss him even more than before. How pathetic is that?

I know wherever Jose Mourinho is, he would have been laughing watching us play Arsenal. He would have been laughing at Roman Abramovich and ugly Grant and saying "I could've done better than you, bitch!". He certainly could have.

Yes, I can really imagine him smirking like this. Really.

I was a bit surprised to see Arsene Wenger not smiling/breaking into a grin during his post-match match interview. I mean usually when Arsenal win, he's happy but he tries to be subtle about it but marginally fails. I say he misses Jose. What do YOU think?

I don't feel sad that we lost to Arsenal and Man United. At least we didn't lose to Bolton, Middlesbrough or Reading (or teams in the bottom half of the table). Tragic, really.

You see, it is true. We play like rubbish without Drogba. I miss him. The team can cope without JT. I am being honest here. At one point, the phrase "Without John Terry, we are like jelly" had some truth to it. But now, if he doesn't play, it's okay. The team can play well. Better, in fact.

But if anything were to happen to Didier, Lampsy, Riccy and Carlo/Petr (they are ONE), Chelsea are in deep shit. I'm not slagging the other players off, but look, isn't it true?

I don't blame Petr for the goal. Ben Haim should've marked William Gallas better. People make it sound like Petr scored an own goal. I know he is ever reliable, yes. We all know that. But consider this. He just played on Tuesday. That was his first match since injuring his hamstring. He is human and he is allowed to make mistakes, okay. Don't make it sound like his brains went wonky and scored an own goal. Do you remember how he was injured in October last year against Reading and only to come back in January to let Liverpool score two goals past him in Anfield? It was his first game after coming back from being kicked in the head. Cut the man some slack-lah. Bloody pundits. It is partly his fault, but our defense is to be blamed, as well. He is only human, after all.


Like I said, I am happy we didn't lose to some club trying to fight the relegation battle. Losing to the top two teams isn't exactly a bad thing. Dropped points aside, we have hope. All we need is faith (am not liking the fact I'm being spiritual and religious about this).

But I blame Roman Abramovich, ugly Grant, fishnets, the abomination and William's mohawk. Damn it.

*****

And Rafa, put Crouchy on in the first half next time!

Ugh, and that gayboy really needs to be slapped. Honestly.

"OMG, you guys had ALL your players in the box and no one stopped Tevez from scoring!"

Eh, I counted. 11 players, including Reina. I told you, whenever the opposing teams have a corner, EVERY LIVERPOOL PLAYER ON THE PITCH WILL BE DEFENDING IN THE BOX. I am observant, but I don't drink teh o =p

Some sad person texted me from Anfield (bitch, you could've taken me along!):
"I'm coming home now and when I get back, I expect to see a bowl of curry laksa for me"

Tsk tsk. Poor thing.

*****

Carling Cup quarter-finals this week. Chelsea are playing Liverpool on Thursday morning. Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

Toodles.

P/S: Klang has THE best banana leaf rice meal ever. The rasam is awesome!
P/P/S: Guess who's got Blake Lewis' latest album, Audio Day Dream? It's fantabulous!

Don't you want something more you can invest in?

NOTE: Footie rants and Crouchy post below this one.


I love Blake's new single. Super addictive. He sounds like Adam Levine. Hot, hot, hot.

And I love my music while I take down notes during lectures. Though listening to Madonna's Sorry makes me want to suddenly burst into random dance moves. Haha.

And this song reminds me about someone I wish to never hear from again (I'm glad I lost my old e-mail account, I wouldn't have to deal with this person's e-mails and chat messages). My insula cortex is highly activated when I speak of him. Bleh.

I am addicted to this song.

*****

I am telling you for the last time.

Get rid of the yellow away kit of doom.

See...look at how badly they were playing in it!

Can we please stick to the white away kit of holiness? And leave the black kit as the third kit?

Please. I'm half-blind, don't make me fully blind.

*****

Something rather random happened today.

I went to HP Towers to get some curry puffs because the mother asked me to buy some. And I was paying at the counter and the uncle was in a very good mood and decided to speak to me a bit more than usual.

"You have class now?"
"Yeah"
"Tomorrow's a holiday. How long is your holiday? Do you start back on Friday or Monday?"
"Friday"
*my college is very stingy when it comes to holidays...pfft*
"Oh...are you celebrating?"
*smiles*
"No"
*knows where this is heading*
"Oh...then, you are...?"
"I'm Malay"
"Oh...but you look Indian"
*smiles again*
"Sorry ya?"
"No, it's okay. A lot of people say that about me"

I then texted my Scouser about this and the reply made me cry.
"See, I told you. You have hope to marry Cristiano Ronaldo"

**refer to this entry to catch my drift**

Mortified, I told the mate.
"Mate! Just now I went to buy something from the shop and the man thought I was Indian. I told my stupid friend. She said I can marry Ronnie *cries*"

She's as evil as the Scouser.
"Oi, why are you crying? You are lucky to get married to Ronnie. I'll give you my blessings, don't worry"

My insula cortex is activated again, just by talking about him.

Yuck.

*****

Dear Tomas,

Why are you so fragile like glass?

I hope you're fit enough to play on Tuesday morning and at least score ONE goal.

Very much hopeful,
-me-

*****

The father is so hilarious.

*after a long conversation about Arsenal not having that many English players and random political issues (OMG, we talked about politics! That's a first)*
"Rosicky is what?"
"He's not English"
"Oh"
*dies laughing on the inside*

He doesn't care where his Arsenal players come from, as long as they play well (beautiful football, that's what he says), that's all that matters.

*****

Here's wishing the ones celebrating Deepavali:

DEEPAVALI NAAL VALTHUKAL!!!
HAPPY DIWALI!!!

May the festival of lights be a blessed one for everyone!

And here's to the 3Ms: murukkus and mutton curry and money! Fine...maybe not so on the money part...that was the only word that began with an 'M' I could think of.

Sign you up just to cross you off his checklist. "One more victim!"

OMGWTF, BLAKE LEWIS HAS A NEW SINGLE!!!

AND IT'S FABULOUS!!!

*****

Okay, back to reality now. I have loads of pictures to upload (yes, including the giant Tag Heuer ad) but I'm tired and cranky, so that will have to wait.

Oh and yes...my crazy Filipino lecturer is EVIL. Erect size WTF. Damn obscene.

*****

I don't get why random strangers keep adding me up in Friendster. WTF-lah. Leave me alone-lah, I'll only add you if you are a friend of mine or if I've met you through a friend several times. If I don't know you, don't expect me to add you.

And for the love of Peter Crouch and Fernando Torres, STOP SENDING ME HAPPY DEEPAVALI GREETINGS, CAN OR NOT?

*****

When you hear this at 6 in the morning, you'd be laughing too.

"Eh, you think Michael Chopra celebrates Diwali or not?"

That happened while I was watching the Man City-Sunderland match before going back to sleep.

"Did you realise Avram Grant shares the same surname as Hugh Grant?"
*10 seconds later*
"WTF!!!!!"

I swear I didn't realise this until she pointed it out. NO!
*wails*

Hmmph. Don't make me traumatised in the mornings, can ah?

*****

Currently listening to:
Break Anotha' - Blake Lewis.

He'll try to prove that his love is for you, just when you think he's changed his tune.


Yes, do you like it?

If I had the options.

I would have bought those red shoes.
I would have bought some earrings.
I would have bought that phone.
I would have bought tickets to see Shrek 3 also.
I would have bought that black heels that came in a perfect size 8.


But I don't care if I couldn't buy them.

I spent the whole day with my best friend of 8 years. I don't care. We held hands and laughed so much watching Pirates 3 (Hah! I'm no longer outdated!) and we laughed at this guy who was in the lift with us who started beatboxing (cheh, you think you're Blake Lewis ah?).

I enjoyed today so much and I wouldn't give anything for it.

Here's to more outings =)

Too tired to update with pictures. I shall do it tomorrow.


And I have class tomorrow =(

Saturday of all days! I could spend the day sleeping. But no, I have class with my Political Science lecturer and study about Alan Smith (Adam Smith) and Makelele (Machiavelli). Boo.

I shall go to class tomorrow with happy memories of today.

Prayer.

A little pissed off today, but hey, feel it, then let go. Right?

So anyways, I want you to pray with me.

I want to pray that I have no class next Wednesday at 10 so that I can watch the finale of AI. I know, I don't know how to sort my priorities. Turnips.

I am shocked with the results. It would've been better if Melinda and Blake were in the finals.

OMG BLAKE IS IN THE FINALS! 0_0

Shocking. Just shocking. And I didn't even watch the show yesterday. Ya-lah, I was busy being stalked by some tourist when I should've been at home watching American Idol (yes, I'm sorry, I have no life asides Heroes, Prison Break, Grey's Anatomy and that show...now that footie is no longer shown on TV, anyways).

Pray with me!

*****

"Your manager is arrested"
"For what?"
"Something to do with the dog-lah. Don't you read the newspapers?"
"I just woke up-lah!"
"Eh, those dogs are bloody cute!"
"Dog also want to bring in illegally. Stupid man"
"Eh, leave Jose alone, can? Have I mocked your gaffer?"
"Yes..."
"Well, I don't do that anymore now right?"
"I don't care. Moral of the story: Get managers like Rafa Benitez"
"Moral of the story: Run away while you still can before I hit you"


Eh, you and your nonsense. Stupid thing.

*****

I saw Paolo Nutini's "New Shoes" video on Channel V today.

I squealed. Stupid thing to do, but you ought to know me by now.

Mother trying to be funny.
"Is he wearing lipstick?"
"His name is Paolo Nut!"

This morning, while watching MCR's "I Don't Love You" video,
"Oh this is the song you were singing last night!"
**long story cut short, after dinner last night I was singing this in the car like I was high on booze**
"Are the people rocks?"
"They look scary"

She's not funny. Don't laugh.


Currently listening to:
Brown Spiderwoman @ Aima playing "I Don't Love You" on piano.

Me so very jealous she can play piano. Hmmph.
*pokes*

Anyway, I owe someone something. Promised her that I'll do it last night, but as usual, procrastination and paranoia go together, so nothing materialised.

Sorry. You can kick me if it makes you somewhat happy. I know YOU want to.

Nothing worth saying.

Drab draw. Scouser contemplating if Stevie/Xabi will kiss again in Athens, should Liverpool win the Champions League for the 6th time (Liverpool don't want to give Chelsea face...hmmph).


Isn't that lovely? Xabi/Stevie kissing. *mine originally, but mate photoshopped the original picture, so technically stolen from her yet it's mine*

Joe Cole getting hurt, Scott Sinclair and his metatarsal, JT nearly scoring. Rui looking rather sickly.


Who slapped Joe Cole??? Poor Joe. Those ManUre players are just jealous you're on my sexy list and they aren't.


Arjen talking to...?


Oh, he's talking to Petr! Those legs were blocking my view, is it my fault? There, does this answer your life-or-death question or not? And there's Rui, looking rather pale.


I know Petr and Lampsy were rested, but where was Lampsy anyway?

I don't know. I didn't watch the game. I had to heed orders from the parents. Gah.

Supposed to get a haircut today and do some side shopping, but the mother is, as usual, very stingy and says to hold on.

Father has decided to buy a new TV. But the TV he intends to buy is absolutely hideous. I still think Samsung LCD TV is sexy beyond words can say. But he doesn't like the brand much, so he has decided to stick with either Sharp, Phillips or Sony. Have I told you how much I detest the Sony Bravia? It's really ugly and fat, and I don't like.

Mother ate durian last night and the whole kitchen stank. Father tried to be funny and sprayed Baygon in the kitchen. Darn it, these people are trying to suffocate me.

Other than that, nothing much. Oh and Blake's safe. The mother woke me up at 6 by saying "Faster get up. We must see Blake!". Meh, I tell you this auntie. Always trying to be funny.

Money collected for the Stamford Bridge fund will be used for the "Lawatan Sambil Belajar ke Stadium Shah Alam" fund. Please, please, please come. I promise I won't kidnap any one of you.

I *promise*.

You do realise that I get credit for trying.



Go on. Say it. I look fat. And gay.

I want to be a vegetarian. But the mother in an attempt to be funny, said I should not be a vegan. Hmmph.

But then again, even plants aren't safe to be eaten. Sigh, I'm going to be a fruitarian. If you watched Notting Hill, you know what that would mean.

Lollipop.

The picture needs no words. It explains itself so perfectly well. Saying anything about it would just be an insult to anything portrayed here.

*****

Last night for no apparent reason, I cried. Haiseh, my kawan say I crazy.
I think she's right.

There are things in life that just don't make sense. The parents and a family friend were talking about things that, really, if you look at them closely enough, do not make sense.

Why would someone so well off need money to go to the North Pole/South Pole/wherever it is she is at? To look at penguins is it?

She is a lecturer. Doesn't teaching the future generation of Malaysia count for something you can take pride in?
Why can't that money be put to good use? Like treating sick kids with congenital heart disease or people who need money to undergo transplants? Every single day you see people in the papers, mostly kids, needing money for some operation. Whatever happened to all those medical funds people set up?

Excuse me, Stamford Bridge fund different okay. I set that fund up myself, not with the help from the public. Got quite a bit of money. Making progress, thank you for asking.

For what? Glory of being the first woman from South East Asia to conquer whatever pole it is you want to conquer?

Why are we so worried about promoting "Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita" when half the people in the country (I think it should be more than that) have no respect for anything like queueing up? Or swearing (if you are in front of my parents, don't swear, 'bitch', however is beyond acceptable). Eh, I have stopped swearing, but not cold turkey of course. Slowly but surely.

The point is, nothing in this world makes sense any more!

Even I don't make sense now.

*****

Mate, I want to give you a big fat hug. I hope your lover's okay and I wish him the speediest recovery possible. I'll pray for him to recover fast and I will make sure that JTFL and Blake Lewis (who, unfortunately, is in love with Chris Richardson) pray for you too.

Lightning strikes twice. Blardy hell. God is playing tricks with us by testing our faith. Hmmph.

Told you nothing makes sense any more.

*****

And my mother just decided to be funny and eat a piece of her durian. And the whole kitchen reeks of durian.

And guess what? She placed the rest of it in the freezer.


Right next to MY stock of dark chocolates.

0_0


I am going to go all out and try to make people ban durians for good.

My poor chocolates now smell and taste like bloody durians.
*wails*

*****

Currently listening to:
Lollipop - Mika.

Sucking too hard on your lollipop, love's gonna get you down.


Mika is mad, but I like him.

Lalala.

My friend, the Liverpool fan was right.
It's a Milan-Liverpool final. Are you secretly psychic or something?

I'm not gloating but I would like to say I'm sorry to the mate, for being me (as in saying the wrong thing at the wrong time). You know I can be like that all the time. Sorry.

To the ex, I am going to hug you too.

So the whole "Who's better? Ronaldo or Kaka?" thing is no longer playing around in everyone's mind right?

The "brown Spiderwoman" sent me an SMS saying that "I dreamt that they lost 5-0. Haha, did that happen?".

Crazy thing. I sayang you lots, you know? Brown Spiderwoman. HAHAHA!

*****

This random guy I was chatting with suddenly said that Chelsea 'kena belasah' by Liverpool.
*'kena belasah' means getting whacked/trounced/whipped/insert whatever word that means the same*

So I asked him how on Earth could losing on penalties be considered as being as 'kena belasah'?

So he said the score was 4-1, so it counts as being 'kena belasah'.
And guess what? He's a ManUre fan.

*insert Nelson Muntz's cynical laugh*

Moral of the story:
Drink Dumex. That will teach you to pick faults with me. And make you smarter. (according to the brown Spiderwoman-lah)


*Look at them. So adorable and all. Especially JT and Lampsy and SWP, so tiny. It's okay, I still love you*

Like a very good Chelsea fan once said:
Hell hath no fury like Chelsea fan scorned.

*****

Oh...yesterday was horrible. I was sick and when I got to my aunt's house, my stomach started to hurt. Badly. So I slept in the room and when I woke up I was sweating.

So we came home and I continued to sleep. Woke up in time for American Idol (the mother thought I didn't want to see it because I was too busy mourning the loss...I wasn't mourning-lah oi!).

And let me show you something.

Yes, the bugger decided to dye his hair black. And boy, does he look hot or what?

And at that strange moment in time, I told the mate he looks like Lampsy.
She said I was really insane.

Got, okay? The eyes. The hair...maybe.

Maybe I am delusional.

0.0

*****

Currently listening to:
Billy Brown - Mika.

Then, Billy Brown fell in love with another man...

OhMyGod this song is so fun! Haha! The words are just so cute. Mika is amazing-lah. Haha.


P/S: Oi, you play the piano so well. If MCR needs a pianist, they should look for you. It sounds really good wei.

Short note.

*Chelsea won. 4-1. No last minute goals, thank you.
*My MC100 paper was okay, but the essay part...
*I was fangirling someone. No no, not a footballer or musician [we'll come to that later]. Someone-lah.
*Oh, my tutor knows we think he's cute. Seriously vain.
*I want to marry Blake Lewis. Mate, don't steal! Share can, steal cannot!

SOMEONE I know said I have a thing with people's hair. Apparently I like swishy-swashy hair. I think she's blind.

Oh where were we? Oh yes, Blake. I have short-term memory, forgive me please.


So, when he was in the bottom three, mate and I obviously got very jumpy-lah. I tell you, if JT fall down also we will somewhat panic.
So then, in the spirit of fangirlism, we wanted to give him a big, fat hug just to comfort him.

My mum said he'll be saved. True enough.

Then he wiped Lakisha's tears. I honestly don't know why she was crying when the sissy left.
0.0


He has very nice fingers. Oh, did I mention I like people's hands?
I wish I was in her shoes.
*starts crying*

Fangirl mode just went sky high.

And yes, we contemplated kidnapping him and marrying him. And doing rather unmentionable things to him [well, me only actually]. Haha.

*****
Seeing him wipe her tears made me remind myself of someone who used to do that for me.

Still does it.

The only person I know who'd always say I'm not stupid even when I've done the most ridiculous things in the world.
The only person I know who'd make fun of me but supports whatever I do.
The only person I know who'd just listen to my rants regardless of how many times I've talked about it.

Last week, when I was down to the point that I felt as though I dug my own grave, he pulled me out of it.
He wiped my tears and told me that I was not wrong in doing what I did.

I don't understand what's so fascinating about my hair to him. I just told him I was planning to cut my hair like Victoria Beckham and he protested.
I don't understand why he's always saying I am not fat. I just told him I'm going on a diet and he told me that he wanted to poke my eyeballs. Oi, I'm the one who pokes people. Not you.
I don't understand why I know I can count on him even the situation is bad. I screwed up big time and he's always there not to scrutinise, but to empathise.

I heart you.

*****
Meh, I've been single for far too long. I need someone.

If you're anything like Blake Lewis [or if you are him, for that matter], it would be an advantage.

Haha.