Please forgive me.

Yes, this was me when I was young, skinny and annoying. Now I am old, fat and STILL annoying.

I was browsing through some old photographs with the only person in the world who can think of pervertish thoughts at 8AM.

Amidst all the squealing and random "OMG MY TEETH!" and "MY GOD, THE POSER!", tears streamed down my cheeks when we got to the old birthday pictures involving the relatives I am no longer in contact with.

And I thought to myself...did we all know we would end up not talking to each other? Did I ever imagine becoming such a bitchy and tarty cow as I am now?


How many of those wishes I made during my birthdays came true?


Did I grow up thinking I'd be a teacher? Or an accountant? Or even a singer?


Did everyone think I was going to grow up being all nice and sweet like sugar?


Did I ever imagine I was going to become fat and annoying when I turn 13 onwards?


The truth is, we all grow up. And in the process, we all change. The interests, values, beliefs and attitudes do. Change is painful and scary, my counselling lecturer said once.

When I look back at all that has happened, I realise that it is painful. It is scary.

So before the year 2007 draws its curtains on us, I would to apologise to everyone I've offended indirectly or directly while I was changing to be better or for some people, worse.

To everyone who have stood by me especially when times got tough, I love you all the same. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

To everyone who couldn't bear to watch me change to the point you want to beat me up with a hockey stick, I have changed. If you cannot handle it, it is okay. It's not a sign of weakness. Change is painful and it's entirely up to you to face it or escape it. I chose to face it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.


In case you're wondering what happened to this kid, she's still lingering around...somewhere. You just have to look harder.

Of mafia bosses, birthdays, and shiny things.

First off, apparently, I am NOT delusional. Seriously.

The father got a little too generous and bought me a white gold ring.


o.O

0.0

And when I kept lamenting on how pretty the shiny things were and how I can't afford them, his reply threw me off the chair. I am NOT lying.
"When your turn comes, I will buy for you, okay. You don't worry"

He is scaring me. I think he caught a flu bug or something and that's affecting his decision-making skills.

I am officially scared.

*****

I went to this funky 21st birthday party last night. Funky in the sense that the birthday boy looks like a mafia rempit king. Yeah-lah, I'm evil. What to do?

The entertainment was pretty funky too but loud. It was fun seeing the kids dancing. Haha.

And though there was alcohol, I didn't consume any because I'm good and I have a wonky tummy.

I told the mother that when the 21st arrives, let me get drunk.

Best conversation of the night.
"How old are you?"
"19"
*think after 10 seconds*
"Oh no, I'm 20!"

Classic.

I met the whole big Sentul 'drinking clan' (in other words, the father's buddies) and their kids.

This girl is so adorable I almost wanted to take her home with me. She's still tiny, this Ruth.


Don't mess with this kid. Amber Chia in the making, okay.


*dies at the cuteness*
No, that isn't my hand.


HAHAHA! Her two front teeth are missing.


Yeah, yeah I know. The one decent pic I have with her is ruined by my hair. Tiny hands!

She's actually very adorable in real-life, it's just that I have a lousy camera phone. Haha.


"Don't cut your hair! Let it grow!" says uncle. Does he think I live in North Pole ah?!

She's awesomely photogenic. She kept tapping my hand and pointing at my phone. Vain. And she thinks she's pretty. Hahaha!

And she can talk now! *squeals*

Yes, I like cute little kids. Got a problem with that?

*****

*88th minute*
"NOW ONLY HE PUT TOMAS ON, WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO IN 4 MINUTES?"
"Eh anything can happen, you know"
*sees him score*
"OMG HE SCORED!"
*gets text message from Scouser*
"Oi, shut up-lah! I can hear you from my brother's house!"

Liar, his house is in TTDI. Bloody far away from my house. I love you long time, you nutcase. You just know me. And boo to Nicky being sent off.



Sigh. Such a silly boy.

Am NOT commenting about Chelsea. NOT COMMENTING.

The gayboy missed a penalty.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(sorry mate, you know I hate him)


See you happy people soon. Will be away tomorrow. Big day-lah.

P/S: I swear Stevie G is starting to look like Xabi and it scares me. I'm going blind.

Move out of my way.

I probably am the only person who can fall asleep while replying a text message.

I came home and plopped myself on the recliner the instant I sat on it, and fell asleep within 5 seconds.


And I am going out later. OMG PEOPLE, LET ME REST, CAN OR NOT?

Someone seriously needs to tie me to a chair and makes sure that I don't try to escape.

Boo.

*****

Random nonsense so that SOMEONE doesn't think I've run off with a Russian billionaire without telling them.

"I don't like gold jewellery"
"Then what do you like?"
*puts on a confused look*
"What do you like if you hate gold?"
"Silver. White gold. Anything that's not gold"

I doubt if he's buying me any silver jewellery but I'd like to pretend that he is.

Talk about being delusional.

*****

After much deliberation, the father decided that we should drop the cartoon channels.

We're also looking at dropping the movie channels. But I have a strong feeling someone would go ballistic if we cancelled the movie channels.

Haha. She says I'm influential. I'm just a pain, not influential.

*****

I have a new love interest.

It's called 'cham'.

It makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the insides. Just like that dream we shall never speak of again. Ever.

*****

Off to bed now. Long day ahead later.

Remind me I need to buy a nice test pad and a 2008 organiser.


Oh, and more yoghurts. Shut up.

BITCHY IS ANNOYED!

No one is allowed to mentioned anything about the match. Period.

I am not upset over the result. Really-lah, why would I lie? I blame ugly Grant for everything including my wonky stomach.
Neither am I upset that I am fatter than miss prospective future. I need to be rake-thin soon.


I am horribly grumpy and bitchy because...

one channel is missing.



WHAT HAPPENED TO CHANNEL 731 ON ASTRO!!!!

Okay, they can take away Crime and Investigation.

BUT NOT BBC ENTERTAINMENT!

Now where am I going to get my fix of Doctor Who/David Tennant!


WHERE!!!!!


ANSWER ME!!!!!


Grrrr...they better put it back, I'm annoyed. If you're bloody parking ALL THE CHANNELS UNDER A COMMON CATEGORY AND THEN SAY IT'S NOT IN MY SUBSCRIPTION, WHY THE HELL PUT THEM THERE IN THE FIRST INSTANCE!

Hello, it's David Tennant, okay? I have a right to be annoyed like this.

David Tennant, the hotness.

Bitchy is annoyed and will NOT stop ranting about it until it gets fixed.

*****

That aside, I'm feeling good. I've been out and about, it's supposed to be my "rest and relaxation" week, but I've done everything but that. As a result of all those trips, I have a wonky tummy and aching feet.

All I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book in one hand, a tub of yoghurt in the other, and good music in the background.

That would be bliss.

Yesterday's trip to One Utama with the brother proved to be fruitful. I had four things in my "Things to buy" list that included a pair of jeans, a bag, shoes and a present. And I got them all without breaking the original budget set. I am extremely proud of myself.


It was between this and the Roxy bag. The latter lost because bitchy was skint. Haha.



New shoes!

Zebras, she calls them. Jealous cow.


I seriously think a skinny tie makes a man attractive *wolf-whistles*



And remember I said YSL's Young Sexy Lovely's scent is lovely?
Forget that.


Davidoff Cool Water for women is IT.
(I'm giving you a hint on what I want for my birthday next year. Now go on, save money on my present!)

*****

Why was Parkson playing OLD Westlife songs?

I was singing along to some of the songs while waiting for the brother to find his shirts (most of which didn't come in the size he wanted) and saw a boy who was 12 singing along to the same songs.

I felt like hiding in the toilet, okay. So embarrassed.


But I did hear You Give Love a Bad Name (the beatboxer's version =p) while walking along the corridors.


AND WHY IS STEVEN GERRARD'S FACE ALL OVER ADIDAS!

*sends a text message to Scouser*
"Bitchy, don't be jealous! Stevie's handsome"

Okay, I think I know why my stomach's in knots.

*****

I am going out again tomorrow.
I seriously need to be tied to my bed badly.

I want my Channel 731 back...I need my fix of Doctor Who and David Tennant.

=((((

I think I'll go to bed now. Goodbye.

We could be fishes in the deep blue sea.

Verdict: The Pavillion mall is HUGE. I think my feet would have fallen out of my body if they could.

I like YSL's Young Sexy Lovely EDT. The smell still lingers on my hand.

I wouldn't mind going there again.

I didn't buy J.Co Donuts. Crowded like hell! Didn't expect to see THAT many people there on Christmas day!

In fact, I didn't buy anything. I am broke.

By the way, I saw your dress from Coast. Uber sexy =)

There's always a next time.


BUT...

Guess what I did?


I went for a fish spa.

Get off my feet!!!

Seeing those little fishies crowding your feet was a bit icky. So, like a brave soldier that I am, I tried it. The parents and brother didn't want to. So I was alone.

People who feel icky about this can kindly skip this part.

They make you wash your feet first. And then, you dip your feet in. And that's when the squealing process begins.

The fishes eat the germs off your feet. And a bit off your calf. And it was ticklish, I was moving all over the place.

"Eh sit still, if not the fish will go away!"

Easy for him to say-lah! I'm the one with fishes surrounding my feet and he's telling me not to move.

WTF.

The fishes were mostly really tiny. They weren't so bad as the big ones. The big ones make you feel really ticklish and make you giggle because of the fact they tickle you like crazy.

After a few minutes of squealing and squirming around, I eased up a bit and kept quiet.

And then the couple next to me left, so I moved in a little. And more fish crowded my ugly Crouch-like feet.

*insert Akon's Lonely here*

And then my time was up. RM38 for 30 minutes. Quite an interesting experience, won't mind doing it again.

Kenko. Go there!

I survived!

Cheh, as if I went to war or something.


And after walking around Pavillion for 7 hours, I am going to walk around OneUtama tomorrow.

I am Superwoman. Muahahaha!


(And why are there SO many Freddie Ljungberg CK underwear ads outside Parkson? I couldn't stop laughing and the mother went "Eh that's Freddie right? So handsome!")


P/S: Still searching for rich, young, non-Roman Russian billionaire/oil tycoon. Hahahaha!

Look what I do to get him...

Warning: Post contains pictures that may not be suitable for children. You'll see why.

Told you. Kids, go away, don't be like this stupid cow who acts like a 5-year-old in real life.

Apparently I have a new nickname. It's called 'bitchy'. No idea why.

I don't know why the parents bought this. They probably think they're trying to be funny. Failed attempt.

As opposed to this T-shirt, I do follow rules even when I don't want to. Not always, anyway.


The nutcase who took this ought to be slapped. My music. Life.


Written in the midst of sticking post-its in the textbooks to the annoying pole-dancing and visually-challenged Scouser.

Studying during the break was so bad, there were times I cried. For no bloody reason. But messages like "MT will not like this" and "Hang in there! Now's not the time to give in!" at 3 AM, you know you won't be alone.


A girl can never have too many shoes. Or too little of it.


My source of happiness. The elusive After Eight mints and Dutch Lady yoghurts. Yum.


My secret cookie stash. I had two jars, but someone took one. And finished the whole jar. The idiot. THOSE WERE MY COOKIES! I DON'T CARE HOW LONG I TAKE TO FINISH THEM, IT IS MINE. I BLOODY PAID FOR THEM, OKAY? NOT YOU!

I think I need to buy myself a mini-fridge in my room so that I can hide all my food in the room so that thieves won't steal my food.

Yes, I am SO bitchy, especially when it comes to food.

And no, I only eat one cookie once in two days. That is how SLOW it moves.


More stupidity in the making. You nutcase, I blame you for this.


Just a short message to a certain someone =p

*****

Today was a good day. I saw Kalai K at the post office. And it reminded how much my 'family' means to me. How happy they make me whenever I was sad in school. No matter how annoying I was to them, they never left me out of the family =)

And the visits I made to random family friends remind me of what they mean to me.


I am happy.


And someone groped my ass. A woman, mind you.



I saw him play last night, and I cried. Not only did I miss him, it was really good to see him back in action after so long. Being injured and all, I missed him and his brilliance.

I want him back in Chelsea for Christmas. Wrapped in a blue bow, if possible.


In case I'm not here tomorrow, here's wishing everyone:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Trophy boys, trophy wives.

"Eh, did Nando do something to his hair?"
"I think he cut it"
"Finally!"

Upon closer inspection, it was found that...

AACK!!! FERNANDO TORRES STRAIGHTENED HIS HAIR!!!

*dies*


Okay, a guy can to anything to his hair BUT straighten it. IT'S JUST WRONG. Period. Does anyone remember the time when David James decided to straighten his hair? Wrong, I tell you. WRONG!

He is starting to look like Sergio Ramos!

Great, now we can't tell Nando, Sergio and Becks apart. Because we are bloody blind like bats.

Oh well, at least the father won't say "Eh you brother's hair is nice like Fernando Torres" anymore. Haha.

Still, Liverpool won and we say it's his hair that brought them luck. And maybe Benayoun's hair too, I like.

"Eh he got a haircut! It looks good!"
Yes, I got bored. Sorry.

Ah, Niko Krancjar. Can we keep him?

*****

"OMFG NICKY SCORED!!! NOT EVEN 10 SECONDS ON THE PITCH AND HE SCORES. I LOVE YOU, NICKY!!!"
Sent by an over-excited pole-dancing Liverpool fan who has paedophilic tendencies.


He looks like a chicken in this pic. Haha! Look at him leap! 0.0 SO TALL!


No reason. Shut up. Don't kidnap him.

Robbie missed the penalty. Bah. Though I did guess Almunia was going to save it.

Sorry.

*****

I got so happy when Clint Dempsey scored, because he was on my team.

But I left him on the bench.

I feel so stupid.

*****

I want to go to Newcastle.

Please.

I want to leave.

*****

If I could ever get a tattoo, this would be THE design. Love. Life. Loyalty.

Where would it be? My left wrist.

Lovely, yes?

How about it?

I want you to know my name.

Random stories of the past five days.

01. I HATE PEOPLE WHO WALK SLOWLY.
Especially in shopping malls. I went crazy over these two couples who were cuddling each other and walking like they owned the god-damn place! Old people with children are excused. Yes-lah, I'm being a cow. I just dislike slow-walking people. I actually shouted: "OMG I CAN'T BEAR SLOW-WALKING PEOPLE!!! MOVE!!". Heh, yes, contrary to popular belief, I actually DO have a low-patience level.

02. Congested trains are good ways for perverts to get touchy-feely with you.
Apparently, these few boys thought it would be fun to 'feel' people rushing to get out of the train. I heard one of them say "You got to feel them up, lucky you". WTF. Young retards finding pleasure from touching other people. Is this what society is coming to?

03. Old men think I have a sexy bum.
Yes. Apparently it was so sexy, the old China man wanted to touch it. In the bloody train! While getting out of the train, he wanted to touch my posterior, because EVERYONE was trying to get out to the bloody train which was packed like a can of sardines at 5:30 PM and like the young boys, this old man thought it would be a perfect time to get all touchy-feely. The mother saw it and pushed his hand away and gave him a death glare.

04. Someone wants to take up pole dancing.
Hahaha! Long story short: We blame Blake Lewis and track number 3.

05. Miss prospective future shares the same birthday with mate and Fernando Torres.
No fair! *pouts*

06. The father thinks my brother has hair like Fernando Torres.
O.M.G.W.T.F. *dies* IT IS NOT TRUE!

07. People assume I am STILL in school.
This uncle asked me "So what form are you in?". It is nice for a change to be seen as a young girl rather than being asked "Miss, do you have kids at home?" . It is flattering and it also further proves I'm NOT marriage material. Haha.

08. My cravings only happen when I am hormonally-balanced.
Shouldn't it be the other way around?

09. Audio Day Dream makes a great album to dance to.
True. Hence the pole-dancing drama. Haha.

10. It is fun to make fun of people who are contemplating marriage and also people who are already married.
You get to hear all kinds of weird things about them as a couple and pretty insightful things of marriage.

11. We can't tell the difference between Sergio Ramos and David Beckham.
How woeful. Hahaha, hey, it's not our fault those ProSoccer Dolls of Becks look like Sergio! Maybe we need to get our eyes checked.

12. I had fun tonight watching D'Arranged Marriage.
Hey, it's not easy for one man to play 9 characters with such great enthusiasm and perfect in detail (especially all the female characters), and dance like he's Shah Rukh Khan.

This is awesome.
Father: Not only will you bring shame to our family, you will bring shame to your dick!
Son: Shame to my dick?
Father: Yes, shame to your dick! If you divorce your wife, it only says one thing: You're gay. And do you know what they say about gay Indian men?
Son: No, dad. I don't. What do they say about gay Indian men?
Father: They sleep with other men!!!

Trust me on this, it's hilarious.

13. The brother eats like a chicken.
According to the father, the brother eats like a chicken. Yes, I know. I eat less than a rat, he eats more than a chicken. What terrible children the parents have. *shakes head*

14. I am not rich.
Just because I study in a fancy college, go for massages and facials, and shop in Bangsar for groceries, it doesn't mean I am filthy rich. I am a little irked at the fact that someone assumes I am rich. "Why don't you buy a laptop instead of a new PC?". First of all, I just bought my Tomas (monitor for the uninitiated) a year ago and it's still pretty. The only problem with my PC is that the CPU is being a bigger cow than I am. So, why splurge the money on things I want, when I can splurge it on things I need? Be practical, for the sake of hash browns.

15. The mother thinks some naughty people are going to kidnap Tomas (the doll, I mean).
I think she meant you. Haha.

16. I want Theodore.
Bloody cute thing made my heart melt. So bloody adorable. Can we keep him?

17. I slept at 8:30PM yesterday and woke up at 7:30 this morning.
Wow. The road trip took a lot of my energy. I'm surprised I slept that long. Shows you how knackered I am.


So right. I'm tired and I am going to bed now. Good night.

You and me, babe. How about it?

I am resisting the urge to gloat. Because I care.

Mini gloat-entry after this.

*****

We were out yesterday, we went to The Gardens and I went ballistic over the shoes there. Absolutely lovely.

It would be nice if this Christmas someone threw me money from the sky for me to buy things. Or Santa sent me a rich and young Russian billionaire who isn't Roman. Haha.

And I bought books. And CDs.

Sawdust (The Killers) and Audio Day Dream (Blake Lewis).
*stares at poster*
"THE ALBUM IS OUT!!!"
*jumps around*
"I swear when you come out, you regress to a five-year-old"

And this happened before the movie.
"Why does that look like Steven Gerrard?"
"IT IS!!"
*drools*
"Now we know why they couldn't beat Man U. They were drunk before the match!"
"HAHAHAHA"
*ignores and continues drooling*

Carra is sexy, by the way.

You're no better. Pot.

Next stop: Pavillion.

*****

I swear if Liverpool beat us in our own backyard, I would have thrown a bitch fit.

Liverpool 0 - Chelsea 2.


Goal number 99.


And yes, maybe his time is now.


=( Not happy Crouchy got sent off.


AND OMG RICCY IS BACK!!! He's been missed. Terribly.


Can you please stay at home and rest?!

The father's right. The drunkards.

*****

Mini gloat-entry over.

Random pics later. As in tomorrow.

Toodles, a road trip is up next.

Silence is golden, but I choose noise.

Remember the two kittens I named Mikel and Xabi (mate said to name them Xabi and Stevie)?

Well, I only saw Xabi. Mikel had been bought by someone =(

But I saw many other kitties! Pretty.

I want Mikel...

*****

I spotted this Dutch Lady yoghurt van outside this restaurant I was eating in.

*points*
"I am going to hijack that van!"

At that point, the van driver came back and drove off.

"NO!!!"

Hey, I could've gotten free supply of yoghurt, okay!

"But you can't drive"

Bitch.

*****

I have red marks on my back. They look fab. Seriously.

*****

Will be out today, hence the early morning update.


And can I just say this?


Audio Day Dream is F-A-N-T-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!


How many words does it take to say I'm through?

Of fishnets, hattricks, and ugly people.

You know you're in for it when old people start beating up younger kids. Shame on you! Want me to beat all of you up, is it! The only player who didn't get involved in the fight was Tomas. See, Librans are peace-loving creatures.

I actually cried seeing William Gallas during the post-match interview. Not when he scored the goal. Because he didn't gloat about scoring against his former club AND I miss him even more than before. How pathetic is that?

I know wherever Jose Mourinho is, he would have been laughing watching us play Arsenal. He would have been laughing at Roman Abramovich and ugly Grant and saying "I could've done better than you, bitch!". He certainly could have.

Yes, I can really imagine him smirking like this. Really.

I was a bit surprised to see Arsene Wenger not smiling/breaking into a grin during his post-match match interview. I mean usually when Arsenal win, he's happy but he tries to be subtle about it but marginally fails. I say he misses Jose. What do YOU think?

I don't feel sad that we lost to Arsenal and Man United. At least we didn't lose to Bolton, Middlesbrough or Reading (or teams in the bottom half of the table). Tragic, really.

You see, it is true. We play like rubbish without Drogba. I miss him. The team can cope without JT. I am being honest here. At one point, the phrase "Without John Terry, we are like jelly" had some truth to it. But now, if he doesn't play, it's okay. The team can play well. Better, in fact.

But if anything were to happen to Didier, Lampsy, Riccy and Carlo/Petr (they are ONE), Chelsea are in deep shit. I'm not slagging the other players off, but look, isn't it true?

I don't blame Petr for the goal. Ben Haim should've marked William Gallas better. People make it sound like Petr scored an own goal. I know he is ever reliable, yes. We all know that. But consider this. He just played on Tuesday. That was his first match since injuring his hamstring. He is human and he is allowed to make mistakes, okay. Don't make it sound like his brains went wonky and scored an own goal. Do you remember how he was injured in October last year against Reading and only to come back in January to let Liverpool score two goals past him in Anfield? It was his first game after coming back from being kicked in the head. Cut the man some slack-lah. Bloody pundits. It is partly his fault, but our defense is to be blamed, as well. He is only human, after all.


Like I said, I am happy we didn't lose to some club trying to fight the relegation battle. Losing to the top two teams isn't exactly a bad thing. Dropped points aside, we have hope. All we need is faith (am not liking the fact I'm being spiritual and religious about this).

But I blame Roman Abramovich, ugly Grant, fishnets, the abomination and William's mohawk. Damn it.

*****

And Rafa, put Crouchy on in the first half next time!

Ugh, and that gayboy really needs to be slapped. Honestly.

"OMG, you guys had ALL your players in the box and no one stopped Tevez from scoring!"

Eh, I counted. 11 players, including Reina. I told you, whenever the opposing teams have a corner, EVERY LIVERPOOL PLAYER ON THE PITCH WILL BE DEFENDING IN THE BOX. I am observant, but I don't drink teh o =p

Some sad person texted me from Anfield (bitch, you could've taken me along!):
"I'm coming home now and when I get back, I expect to see a bowl of curry laksa for me"

Tsk tsk. Poor thing.

*****

Carling Cup quarter-finals this week. Chelsea are playing Liverpool on Thursday morning. Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

Toodles.

P/S: Klang has THE best banana leaf rice meal ever. The rasam is awesome!
P/P/S: Guess who's got Blake Lewis' latest album, Audio Day Dream? It's fantabulous!