You want me to love you?

Oh Avram Grant, we love Jose Mourinho more than we love you. Seriously.

You know why? It's simple. His winning mentality suited everyone.

Yours? Hmm...for lower league clubs, maybe yes. Premiership? Hell no.

Plus, he looks really good EVEN when he's moping. How many people do you know can mope and look good at the same time?

I was very pleased to see the fans at the Bridge chanting Jose's name. Even I caught myself chanting his name.

You know what Chelsea needs? They need The Special One. NOT YOU.

Oh, "Tell me, did you love your wife from the first meeting?" ?

There's such a thing called love at first sight. So it would consider as love at the first meeting. I am not stupid, just blind.

I don't care if it's a draw and our unbeaten home record is still intact. We haven't scored in the last four games. And you said we'd be playing entertaining football.

I really don't see how entertaining a goalless draw is.

Oh and Didier got sent off AND JT's injured? Brilliant.

I love my club.

God knows what will happen on Thursday against Valencia.

So, no, Avram Grant. I choose not to love you. I'd rather love Sam Allardyce instead.

*****

But of course, I am happy after this happened.

*stands on weighing scale*
"At least tell me I haven't gained a kilo or something"
*checks weight*
"OHMYGOD! I lost half a kilo"
*squeals with happiness*

Which means...I've lost 3.5 kilos.

*glee*

It's the only time of the year I love. Because I get to lose weight.
*is planning on how to lose more*

*****

"Rotiman got injured =( "
One nasty tackle, that one. And why do you like Rotiman so much? Don't you love Stevie G anymore?

"FREDDIE! UNDERWEAR MODEL!"
"Can see his CK undies or not?!"
Perverts.


I'm thinking of getting rid of a striker now. Not quite sure who, though.

P/S:"Eeks, 6 days more!". Honestly I have no idea why she's excited when I'm not.


Edited at 18:24:
OMG LEWIS!!! AND I WATCHED!!!

That boy is just so cute.
"I never said I was blaming myself"
Right on. Oh yes, two more races to go! Whee!!!
*jumps around like a mad leprechaun*

Oh, can I kill you with this?


The boy's hair. Oh God. Fernando Torres is so undeniably pretty. This is what i meant by wanting a lover who has hair like this when I sneak up on him in the morning when he's fast asleep.

No, no, I don't like Liverpool. Don't even try to sway me.

You only have to open your eyes.

The recent assignment had something to do about nerve gas. The first part was okay. However we got stuck at the second part.

Out of curiosity, I typed out the assignment question and decided to google it. I expected to find journals or articles, but look what I found.



I found this in Yahoo! Answers.

There were two answers, the first one hit the nail, but of course you can't cite it as it's not really a credible source.

The second answer was THE best.


*dies laughing*


Smart buggers.

*****

Today I just want to be a little lazy.

Is that alright?

I promise I'll get to work tomorrow.

*****

This is hilarious.


§γ£vïēŇ Яÿαη ΜμггαŸ says:
eh y cant u try to accept the beauty of ron?
§γ£vïēŇ Яÿαη ΜμггαŸ says:
i dun hate anyone ady now...
- r o w e n a - "QOTD: I think I peed in my pants" says:
i can't
- r o w e n a - "QOTD: I think I peed in my pants" says:
that's like accepting mawi
§γ£vïēŇ Яÿαη ΜμггαŸ says:
yeeeee
§γ£vïēŇ Яÿαη ΜμггαŸ says:
u cannot compare ron n mawi laaa
§γ£vïēŇ Яÿαη ΜμггαŸ says:
it's like rainbow n mud
- r o w e n a - "QOTD: I think I peed in my pants" says:
LOL

Crazy thing.

Mate and her analogies.

*****

I'm thinking of cake. Hmm...


Eh...I've finally seen how Mikel Alonso looks like. Yes, I'm beyond slow. He looks like Michael Owen a bit.

Of course, I like Xabi more. That stupid smirk.

Love is all that there's to do.

After spending 16 hours straight with Tomas, I won the war. You have no idea how pleased I was when I got it done by 1AM. The target was met, so was the word limit. The best part was that Tomas decided to be nice to me and not die on me.

And what did I do after sitting on my bum for the last 16 hours with the accompaniment of my long-suffering boyfriend?

I went for a facial and a manicure at Sothys in Bangsar Village 2. Eh, I deserve to be pampered a week early. Hmmph. The boyfriend deserved a rest too.

Before that, we stopped by at MPH, where I met my darling Scouser (I swear she's stalking me!). We scouted for our usual favourite kind of books: football biographies.

"EH!!! LOOK!!"
*screams excitedly and points to Steven Gerrard's biography*
"First face I see is his face"
"Not like seeing the gayboy's face right?"

Good point.

"Eh look, there's a book on Jose"
"See the title"
"All the Way Jose"
"Come see the pictures"

We flipped through the pages and looked at pictures. There was a pic of him hugging Lampsy and the caption read "The respect between players and the manager is mutual and inevitable". Something along those lines-lah.

Sigh.

Then we looked at the first page right after the cover, and we nearly died.

It was a pic of him posing for the Carling Cup. He had one hand on his face and he was smiling. Like a watch model. Oh he was wearing a watch too.

"I think I just peed in my shorts"
*chuckles*
"WTF! He's so bloody hot. He should be modelling watches-lah wei!"
"Brad Pitt is nothing compared to him-lah"
*drools*
*drools*

Great, we've been deprived of entertainment, hotness and talent in Chelsea. Avram Grant has nothing like what crazy-eyed dimpled man had. I daresay Alex Ferguson is better looking compared to Avram Grant.

=( I wonder what's he going to do next?

*****

I have been under immense stress that the person who normally does my facial said her hand hurt when she was massaging my shoulder.

And she said I lost weight too that she noticed my face is smaller. I lost 3 kilos already. Planning to lose more now.

And random note, I love my nails.

*****

I saw really nice (and pretty affordable) shoes in BV2! I'm thinking of going there on Tuesday, since I have a long break and all. What do you want me to do for three hours-lah?

But my heart's set on another pair of shoes I saw last Friday. It was a pair of purple flats with a hint of gold and orange on the ribbon. It honestly didn't make my feet fat.

Someone take me out please!

*****

Sometimes, a little apology goes a long way.

Something good happened today, it left me nearly in tears. But hey, one day at a time, right?

I'm pleased it turned out this way. I can't care less what that one person out of the five thinks of me. His opinions don't matter anyway.


When they let you down, love is all that there's to do.

*****

Guess what's my favourite word from Biopsychology?

Methylenedioxymethamphetamine.

That's the one word I can spell without referring to the textbook.

It is also someone's nickname. Cookies if you can guess whose nickname is that.


I'm going to rest now. Toodles.

Sleep peacefully now, my child...

On the first day of class, my Biopsych lecturer (I seem to have this disturbing love affair with this subject...help me) showed us a transparency of statements which were either true, false, or not known.

I learnt that dogs don't see things in black and white.

One of the statements that really caught my attention was "Continuous sleep deprivation can make you temporarily crazy".

I wanted to ask my lecturer if that was true because I wanted to advise someone to get sleep because she was trying to be Mrs. Christian Bale.

But sadly, I never got to find out if it was true or not.

But today, my Biopsych tutor told us that we had a sort of homework to do before the next tutorial (October 17th). We get to go on a sleep strike.

Okay, not a sleep strike-lah. He said we need to go without sleep for 24 hours, without coffee, alcohol, and soft drinks.

No coffee? Okay, can still survive.
No soft drinks? Okay, can still survive.
No alcohol? Okay, can still survive.

No sleep? This one's a bit difficult. I value sleep. A lot. Like cats. Did you know that cats sleep 14.5 hours a day?

Eh, the last time we went on a sleep strike was last year right? 28 hours, I think. Why did we do that again?

So, after speaking to my trusted Scouser (who at 4:30 this morning woke me up with a message that went "OI YOUR NANDO SCORED HATTRICK! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FALL ASLEEP?!"...see, early morning and people start swearing at me, horrible Liverpool fans), I'm going to conduct my sleep strike on the 6th of October.

12AM Saturday til 12AM Sunday.

Why that date? Simple.
This weekend is a definite no-no...need to study-lah okay.
The 13th is Hari Raya. Though I'm in no festive mood, I still would like to stare at the food. Chicken rendang!

So the 6th it is. Even if it is before my exams, I can try. Eh, I study better when I'm drowsy. No joke.

Anyone have any better ideas?

*****

What the fuck is this?

Dear Avram Grant, you shut the hell up and don't insult Jose. The man is a genius, unlike you. He's special and you're dull. There's a big difference.

Already the man's left Chelsea, leave him alone-lah. You consider the injury list. How do you expect to have a great game if 5 of our top players are injured? Lampsy, Didier, Wayne, Riccy and Ballack are all out.

20 minutes at Reading also okay-lah? At least we won. We've won 4-1 against West Ham with 10 men, and they were leading at half time.

You couldn't do that against Man U. You know why? Because you can't give inspiration to the players like Jose did. Eggs, bird flu, swans and mental hospitals included.

Now be quiet before I decide to be even more annoyed with you.

*****

I miss Rui now. Of all people. Sigh...why can't they at least have one pretty thing for me to like there?

Life goes on.

*****

Yesterday with a friend.

*sees keychain*
"What's this?"
"My birthday keychain"
"Let me see"
"Oh your birthday's coming soon...what is this? Advertising is it!"
*laughs*

Shameless advertising.


Currently listening to:
Billy Brown - Mika.

While it was all going according to plan, then Billy Brown fell in love with another man.

This song is so cute. Who knew anyone could sing about a family man falling in love with another man in such a happy tone?

My eyes are on you man but I'm a runaway train.

Okay, Jamie Scott is freaking addictive-lah. Damn.

I had the longest day. Yes, I know we only have 24 hours in a day, but I felt today was so long.

I was up until 2AM this morning trying to complete an assignment that was due at 5. Try battling your eyes that were already in its 'shut down' mode. Not easy, okay. I ended up falling asleep in front of the PC with a headache.

I decided to sahur at 2AM itself rather than going to bed and waking at 4, which only leaves me with 2 hours of sleep.

I needed more than 2 hours because I had classes from 9 until 6. Plus, I had to go early because we needed to put the final touches of the assignment.

I went to class today looking nothing short of a zombie. To top it off, the father told me this.
"On Saturday and Sunday, you acted like you didn't have any assignments to do"

It's a good thing I sit at the back, I didn't want him to notice my extreme WTF face.
"Do you think I sit in front of the PC doing nothing? I am so tired of people accusing me of things they know nothing about. I spent the whole of Sunday at the PC, I didn't even have time to read the papers! I didn't even watch TV until 11PM!"

I really hate it when people keep on arguing when they know they're not going to win it.
"You should realise that whatever the outcome of the game doesn't affect you. You should have continued doing your assignment"

Seriously. I sat from 10-5 doing my assignment. Then continued from 8-11. 10 hours in front of the PC. Do you want me to experience cell death at a faster rate or something? 3 hours to watch something I care about is wrong now-lah? I know-lah Tomas is my long-suffering boyfriend, it doesn't mean we have to stare at each other all day long. I'm pretty sure he's tired of seeing my face all the time.

What a good way to start the morning. A splitting headache, a nagging parent, and a serious bout of backaches. It feels so good.

I tripped a few times while walking, just because I was that tired. Either that or my stupidity struck. And I had to break fast early because I couldn't take the headache any longer.

"I broke fast"
"Where did you eat?"
"Wisma HELP. Why? You thought I ate at the main block?"
"Main block or not, you should have not eaten in public"

Right. See this.
If I had eaten in Block E, people would know and question too much.
If I had eaten in the main block, people would know and question too much.
So it was either Wisma HELP or the toilet. I am not kidding, I'm in no mood to joke around.

Honestly, people don't care if I fast or not, because most people assume I am Indian. So, at least that's not so bad but it's not that nice.

I don't know what's been bugging him so much until he has to impart his sarcasm on me. Heh...old people. I'm so annoyed but anyway...I'm too tired to argue-lah. Brain cells not working.


The only salvation of the day? Choki-choki. Thank you.

*****

Yesterday afternoon with the Liverpool fan and the Roo-Ronnie lover.
"The best looking manager in the Premiership is Rafa Benitez"
"No, it's Roy Keane"
"No, it's Alex Ferguson"
"He's old and wrinkly"
"Yeah!"

Crazy people. I still say it's Roy Keane because he does remind me a bit of Jose Mourinho. Only not as good looking.


Okay, the Panadol isn't working. I'm going to bed.

There's a hope everytime there's a sound.

You want to know what I think of the game? Heh...this could be either long or short. Depends on what the brain has in mind.

01. I hate Avram Grant. Like seriously. Even when Jose moped, he looked every inch of a sex god. Avram Grant...yuck. He looked scary. I am not kidding. The father says he looks like a hippopotamus that just came out from the swamp. He's not known for his subtleties. I can tell he misses Jose though.

02. True, they had fighting spirit. I don't deny that. But there was only one team dominating the game. There was NO one trying. You could see the only ones working hard were the defenders, mainly Ashley and Paulo. And this was way before the red card. They kept passing the ball to the opponents instead. Very frustrating, okay.

03. The referee was MY man-of-the-match. He practically ruined the game. Sending Mikel off for no reason (if at all he fouled Evra, it should've been a yellow card). Not ending the game when it was supposed to which led to the first goal. Don't get me started on the penalty. Even the father said it wasn't one. No one touched Saha. I may be blonde, but I'm not blind.

04. JT was lucky to not have been carded for trying to steal the red card from the ref. And you know what irritates me most? The fact he has not come out in public to say that he is NOT the cause of Jose's departure. If he cleared the air over the issue, it would make the fans believe in him. Keeping mum about it only proves that he had a hand in it. Which makes the father's argument about JT being all high and mighty ever since being given the England captaincy valid.

05. Shouldn't Rooney have been sent off? Bleh.

06. A draw would have been good.

07. You call that entertaining? Heck, if I wanted entertainment, I would have gone to watch a freaking circus.

08. Not only Avram Grant is ugly, he is also dull. His press conferences are so boring, it makes Kimi Raikkonen, who is known for the fact he slurs when giving his post-race interview and needs subtitles in English when he speaks, sound pretty decent. Scratching your nails on a chalk board would sound even better than that. I am being honest.

09. So Avram Grant...still think you're NO MAN's puppet? Well, newsflash! You're ROMAN's puppet. And what was he lauding Sheva for! And what was van Basten doing there! It's not like Robben or van Nistelrooy were playing in that game! Sven and McClaren? Okay, I get it, but Marco van Basten? There's no Dutch player in any of the side. Oh wait, Edwin van der Sar's Dutch. But still!

10. I want Jose back! I miss seeing his antics on the touchline. Not seeing Rui, Baltemar, Silvino and Andres made me sad. Avram Grant just sits there, looking all grumpy. Seeing only Steve Clarke protesting made me miss them more. And the long banner made me tear a bit.


I would say that Man U would've won, but not with the help of the referee. If the referee was fair and unbiased, they would've won or gotten a draw. They were quite lucky in getting the goals.


I have a bigger concern now. What if Didier is already fit, but he throws a hissy fit and refuses to play because he is still upset over Jose's departure and says he's not fit to play? Worse still, what if he leaves? What if Lampsy leaves too?

Life goes on. Hull City and Fulham next. God bless us all.

*****

At first I thought getting Gianfranco Zola as the new manager would've been great. But then I thought against it. I mean...he wouldn't survive under Roman. Roman wants a puppet on a string and Zola isn't one. I'd be happy to see Zola as Chelsea's manager but NOT when Roman's around.

*****

More woe. Great. Now Ronnie Rabbit wants to come to Chelsea.

You're really making me lose my patience now.

*****

I sold Xabi and Ryan Babel and bought Charles N'Zogbia and Fabregas.
Finally I have enough money to buy that young thing!

No worries, I will buy Xabi back when he's not injured. Eh, I promise. Before buying them, I had only two fit midfielders playing (Lampsy, Tomas and Xabi were all out injured...hmmph!).

Where got people play 5-2-3 formation?! One really weird formation-lah.

At least now got three fit midfielders not so bad-lah. And I got Fabregas now, after so long!

I'm going to get rid of a defender next. No, it's not Carragher. It's someone who is equivalent to him.

Take a guess, and I'll buy you cookies.

*****

The father told me something fairly interesting about Jose that made me jump up and down in glee. I can trust the father on things like this because he knows people who know people who know people who know people, but then again...

Well, at least the jumping up and down part was the only good part while watching the game.

"She's got the stalking all planned out. Wonderful"

And no...I'm not converting into a Liverpool fan. Hmmph.

*****

I am so tired and stressed. I have done a bit of my Biopsych assignment. But I still don't get it.

September, just end quickly. I want October to come fast because of my birthday random things. Shameless advertising.

*****

I've lost a good two kilos in the span of two weeks.

Wonderful.

*****

Eeks. Jamie Scott. Is. So. Cute.

*dies*

Fine. Blame me for my fangirling tendencies, but that song is so sweet. And it's my official alarm clock. "No wonder you never wake up when I tell you to"

I told you I'm honest, okay? I don't lie.

*****

P/S: I think I brought bad chi into the game. I was having a flu the whole night of last night.

We're still so young, desperate for attention.

I'm so stressed up. Haven't typed a single thing for my assignment due this Friday. Oh damn.

I feel like I've slacked off a bit this semester and I hate being a slacker because I am not one. This is crappy.

Sometimes I look back and see that I wasn't anything like this before.

The worst thing is, I know life is short, but I postpone things and do them tomorrow, as though I know there's a tomorrow for me.

It just upsets me that I have so many things to do, but I have so little time. So many wants, so many needs. So little time.

I need to get myself together and stop slacking.

Nerve gas agents, I'm going to beat you up!

*****

You know...we could come up with a book and end up being bloody rich.
"Random Blonde Moments That Resulted in Maths Equation on Life and Football Being Created".

True or not!


And currently, the best looking Premiership manager is Roy Keane. Well, at least according to me-lah.


Will watch the match later. I don't think I'd cry. I don't know. Will try not to.


Toodles.

Edit: I've finally typed my title page! Yay! Achievement of the day! Hello nerd, goodbye slacker!

I'm a dreamer waiting for the sun.

I'm feeling better now. Probably because there are no more tears left to shed or I'm being cynical again.

I still miss Jose, you know.

"You know, when Take That disbanded a few years ago, they had a hotline for the distraught fans. You'd think they'd have a hotline for you Chelsea fans who can'tget over Jose's departure?"
I knew I had a hotline in you lot, so thank you.

"What if he ends up in Spurs?"
Heaven forbid if he joins Spurs! Of all the bloody teams in the world.

I don't like his new replacement. He looks scary. Why can't they get someone like that Valencia manager? He's pretty fit and talented too. Even Klinsmann! Despite him and Ballack being close and all.

Sigh...even Schnitzel's not happy! WTF even he's not playing!

See how unhappy he is!

God bless us all.

*****

You can show every bit of arrogance to the mother, you tosser. But you know what?

When you have a slump, don't come to anyone of us asking for help. You can grovel at my feet for all I care, but you aren't getting any kind of sympathy from me or anyone of us.

And you know what? I'm only going to be nice to those who appreciate my help rather than help people who take me for granted.

I am done dealing with parasites. They bloody suck you dry until you can't even spell HELP straight.

*****

So, I didn't tell you what my GP said about my blood test yesterday.

He said there's nothing wrong with me. I told you I'm paranoid.

And I have a high Hepatitis B antibody count. The minimum is 10 mIU/ml.

Mine was 706 mIU/ml.

Bloody high, ain't it?

Oh, my blood type's not O. It's B+. Yerr...what is this? A few years back the doctor said my blood type was O.

Now it's B+! How can!

Strange.

*****

The world is full of hypocrites, my mother once said.

I still agree.

*****

Currently listening to:
When Will I See Your Face Again? - Jamie Scott and The Town.

When will you touch my life again?


I like this song. So beautiful. Yes, I'm mushy. What's your point?

Knowing what it comes down to, it just might be enough.

Even the British PM thinks highly of him.

It still hasn't quite sunk in. It's horrible. I did think he would be forced out of his job one day but not this early. I wasn't even ready.

He finally spoke to me properly and the first thing he said to me was:
"So how Chelsea now?"

The back pages of the newpapers carried the same headline. I was sitting in the car, listening to what he thinks of Roman and Jose. I hid the tears behind the shades. Very handy, yes?

Then I'll take you shopping, she told me. I did...but I looked confused. I walked aimlessly. Then, I decided to snap out of it. I went to look at hoodies and shoes. It relieved the sadness a bit.

My doctor says I am fine and that there's nothing wrong with me. I went to MTUC and during the interview, the man's last words were:
"Employers don't care about employees anymore, they care about shareholders"

And to which the father added:
"Employers treat their employees like furniture. When they're done with you they throw you out"

Just those two lines got me stuck in reverse. I can't be like this anymore-lah. I want it to end.
He's not coming back, no matter what happens.
We can only hope for the best.


I will leave you with this open letter I wrote to Jose Mourinho this morning.



Dear Jose Mario dos Santos Mourinho Felix,

Usually I never bother with the full names, but for you, I made an exception.

Initially when you first came to Chelsea, I wasn't pleased with the way Roman Abramovich treated Claudio Ranieri by sacking him at the end of the 2003/2004 season, and it kind of made me not like you much.

But as I saw more games (this is because I had no ASTRO before), I understood why you were called the Special One. You gave Chelsea their first Premiership title after 50 years in 2005. In 2006, you did it again, this time beating our closest rivals, Manchester United at home. I can't tell you how much I cried that night when we've won it. I cried three days in a row...it wasn't exactly a pretty sight, to tell you the truth.

I learnt how passionate you were about Chelsea. You gave the players constructive criticisms only to get the best out of them. You threw your Premiership medals to the fans in the Matthew Harding stand. You dirtied your expensive suit at Nou Camp when you were sliding on the pitch because you were elated at Didier Drogba's equaliser that proved that we never give up even in the dying moments. You intervened in the Carling Cup brawl because you don't believe that violence is the answer. You made me find some part of me to respect Eidur Gudjohnsen again, reminding me of his and other former Chelsea players' contribution to our 66 unbeaten matches at home record. You told the fans to keep our chins up and be proud of the players when we lost the title to Manchester United. That day we drew to Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium.

The last bit made me cry, because on that day I never cried, in fact I smiled and clapped for the players despite the fact I am a thousand miles away from London.

That was how much you made me a Chelsea fan.

When we won the FA Cup, the first person Didier Drogba went to search for was you. You made him stay at the club and it was the faith you had in him that made him stay and score 33 goals last season. An incredible feat.

You made John Terry captain...you decided on this because you thought it was important to have a captain who is English instead of a foreigner...which is why you made Frank Lampard the vice-captain. Look at how well the England internationals at Chelsea are playing. You made them.

When my mother broke the news to me at 9AM Malaysian time (2AM over there in the UK), I thought it was just a ploy to get me out of bed and told her to stop pulling my leg. She said she wasn't kidding. Immediately I woke up, scrambled to my PC and texted my friends stating how undeniably in denial I was. When it was confirmed, I cried so many times.

How could they do this to you? 6 trophies in 3 seasons! What on Earth were they thinking? To let you go was a mistake. They are slowly breaking my Chelsea family apart and it makes me sad to know that Steve Clarke and Frank Lampard have yet to sign a new contract, which could lead to more of my Chelsea darlings leaving.

I look at the smallest things and it reminds me of what you meant to the players, the fans and more importantly, to me. You made me believe in the never-say-die attitude and the fighting spirit. Everytime I am sad, I read my Chelsea autobiography book and smile. I watch the 2005/2006 Season Review DVD that I got as a birthday gift last year and smile. You make me smile.

I don't care if the fans booed you or the players. I don't care if you moan a lot. I don't care if Roman thinks you've not done enough.

I am still trying to grasp the fact you are no longer managing Chelsea. I can't accept it. It's too sudden...

You promised me and the other fans you'd stay until 2010. Great, I thought. I'd get to see him there when I'm doing my Masters in the UK after July 2009.

But you left. You left before I could even say 'hello' to you.

"You talked about cracked eggs and the next day he talks about cracked eggs. Is he secretly reading your blog?!"
I got that message on Monday night. I was crying when I saw it again last night. It goes to show how much I will miss you and your wit.

My tears are streaming down my cheeks now. I don't know when I will come to terms with this news. I can't even bring myself to read the papers or visit the Chelsea site. It's too painful. I can tell you that the overused word of the day was 'devastated'.

It is too much for me. I am not done. I still have much to say, but I can't because it makes me cry to think about the things I want to say to you.

I can be sure that whoever is poised to fill that spot of yours won't have it easy for him as he has a lot of work to do to emulate you and your feats. I doubt your shoes can be filled so quickly. Not even Fergie can do what you can do.

You made an impact on everyone, including me.

I wish you all the best in whatever you do next. I hope you are with Chelsea, in mind and spirit.

Remember, you're THE SPECIAL ONE.

You know what? Special doesn't even cut it. You're more than just special. And you know that very well too.

Farewell, my older version of Julian McMahon. The man who taught me what it's like to be passionate about things.

Thank you for the memories. It's been three wonderful seasons.

Yours truly,
-me-
A true blue.

*****

I'm done. But don't expect me to be all happy when I see you. Unless you have a sundae or some cookies to tempt me with.

My once happy Chelsea family is slowly breaking apart.


I'm not liking this.


Life goes on.


Song of the moment: How Do I - Lee Ryan.
So fitting.

This is the year I turn cynical 20.

I'm going to be 20 in another 2 weeks. If you're wondering what I want...get me the man's autobiography 'Anatomy of a Winner'. If you get me that, I'll be your slave for a year. Seriously.

I don't break my promises. Then again, I'm not that picky, buy me anything you please...as long it's not undies-lah okay.


This year, I've become somewhat cynical towards things in life.

The things I used to be so excited about before have now turned into dust.

Merdeka. Family. Happiness. Life. Love. Marriage. Promises.

Yeah, they've all turned into dust.

I'm glad I am...otherwise I'd still be the girl in the French plait who believes that life is a bed of roses.

I'm no longer that girl. I'm the cynical nearly 20-year-old.

*****

I was watching Curious George again. And I cried. Stupid monkey.

Because Ted's yellow outfit reminded me of the away kit of doom, which reminded me of Jose and Chelsea.

And I cried. Horrible okay, I cried watching a cartoon. What am I? 5?


"You talked about cracked eggs and the next day he talks about cracked eggs. Is he secretly reading your blog?!"
I cried again when I saw that message which was sitting pretty in my inbox for the last three days.


Every single thing I see triggers the worst kind of emotion and it makes me sad.

The medals he threw into the Matthew Harding stand.
The grass-sliding move in Nou Camp.
The 'keep your chin up' move at the Emirates Stadium.

Have you seen your manager do something like that?!

How can you throw all that away and let him go! 6 trophies in 3 seasons...pretty good feat right? Of course, we've not landed the Holy Grail of Europe yet...but still!

Why sack him before a crucial game?
Why?
Why?

And the worst part was, he promised he'd be there until 2010...which would mean I could've actually stalk him by the time I get to the UK (I'm only getting there after July 2009 anyway).

Now they've robbed me of that chance (random note, I accidentally spelt 'robbed' as 'robben' earlier)!

My Chelsea family is breaking apart.
This is beyond sad. Even Will Young can't save me.

I doubt his shoes can be filled. Not even Fergie can.

*****

There's a sundae in my fridge and it's calling me to eat it.

Which I will do in a bit.


Oh look, one new text received!
"I'll buy you roses, paint them red, then I'll take you shopping"

Yes, please! Why weren't you born a boy?!

I've got to be dreaming.

What do you do if you wake up one morning only to be told by your mother your favourite manager is leaving your favourite club?

You'd think it's a sick, cruel joke to get you out of bed and tell her not to be funny.

She says she isn't and she heard it in the news on the TV.

You go on to be in denial. You proceed to check various reliable sources to confirm the news. At the same time, you text a few friends who know how much you adore the manager, saying how undeniably in denial you are.

Then...you find that the...

News has been confirmed. He has left for good.

He left.
He left.
He left.
Your brain tells you.

Still, you're in denial. You refuse to let go that he's leaving because he made a promise that he wouldn't leave until 2010.

Yet, he left.

Why? You ask yourself a million times. Why has he left the club?


There's no manager that can make me smile like he does. Despite the moans and rants, I adore him.

Now he's gone. He's gone. And he may not come back.


If you'll excuse me, I'll be in the loo, crying my eyeballs out. As if not getting over number 16 was not enough, they do this to me.

If you want to read something happy, go click somewhere else.


Say it isn't so, tell me you're not leaving...
Say you've changed your mind now, that I am only dreaming,
This is not goodbye, I don't wanna start it over,
If you wanna know, I don't wanna let go...
So say it isn't so.


Dear Jose Mario dos Santos Mourinho Felix, I hope you're happy wherever you may be right now. I hope you're always with Chelsea, in mind and spirit. I'll try to be strong. It won't be easy, but I'll try. You get credit for trying, okay?

I've got to be dreaming. Someone just bloody pinch me in the arm and tell me it's a joke. Please.

Can we just rewind?

Hello all. Today I am fasting therefore I shall refrain myself from swearing or being tempted by pretty boys. It seems to be working...but then stupid Xabi came along and played piano in my dreams. Xabi, DON'T CORRUPT ME DURING THE NEXT 23 DAYS!

I am feeling much better now.

So anyways, I'm sure the nutcase would've told you about the random things that happened to me yesterday. So I'll explain them further.

I only had ONE blonde moment. Not two as previously stated. Don't tell lies.

"You think when I start fasting, I'll lose weight?"
"Yes-lah! You always do right?"
"Yeah, but do you think I'd lose weight in the chest area?"
*rolls paper up and hits my head*

Okay. I'm going blonde.


And no, the security guard did NOT hit on me. He was being helpful, especially since I didn't know where the toothpaste was (eh, I actually did but he thought I was lost so he decided to help) AND he got me a basket when I was carrying tubs of yoghurt and a bottled yoghurt drink WITHOUT a basket (oh wait...so THAT was blonde moment number 2!).


Yes, I nearly got run over by a BMW too. We were about to cross the road and there was slow traffic, and the BMW slowed down. We decided to cross the road since the cars weren't moving, but the car in front moved a bit and the BMW was about to go forward. We stuck out our hands to say "Sorry but thanks for letting us cross" but the driver decided to speed up and nearly run us over. And he honked at us for crossing.

So, now it's a crime for us to cross the road-lah! Honestly, just because you drive a fancy car, it doesn't give you the right to honk at people who are going to the shop to photocopy notes because they are studying and that education they receive will take them somewhere. I bet he had to when he was in college. Then again I could be wrong.

People have no courtesy. What in the name of Peter Crouch and hash browns are the "Kempen Budi Bahasa" for?


And the nutcase got me an Arsenal book. For once she's NOT swaying me to be a Liverpool fan. With a nice poster of Tomas. From now on, he shall be referred to as Schnitzel.

Haha!

Oh now that I've mentioned it...anyone wants a poster of Cesc Fabregas? You can have Arsene Wenger =p


Oh...and I hate myself for saying this but I cannot tolerate fickle people. You know, the ones who can't straighten out their priorities.

But then again, I am the ever patient and tolerant person who never says anything so I'm supposed to tolerate all this-lah right?

Dead wrong. I may seem quiet but I do mind it. If it's like once or twice, I can take it...but if you're going to be fickle ALL THE TIME, don't waste my time.


You can never win all the battles you fight.
How does it feel like to get a taste of your own medicine now?


Why am I so nice to people? It's not fake but it's just how I am.
Why am I answering my own question?


Sorry, I'm not fully awake yet. Oh seriously, a 1-1 draw? NOT HAPPY.

Guest blogger.

Hello everyone! I'm the Scouser she loves to call 'nutcase'. I'll be blogging for the 'thambi' today.

The 'thambi' is okay, if you must know. She's feeling a lot better after staring at half naked boys from Chelsea last night.

She looks happy especially since we bought lots and lots of yoghurt to eat (not only that, the security guard in Giant gave her the eye...ask her to elaborate tomorrow, I won't).

Plus, I think the thing that really made her happiest was this pic I showed her (well, I actually showed her more than just this pic, but I can't post them all).

Thank God she's NOT fasting. Would this count for making her 'puasa batal'?


She's happy. I can tell. Despite the fact she nearly got run over by a BMW and having two random blonde moments...she is happy.

I am happy when my 'thambi' is happy.


I'm done here. Will return soon one of these days...when she least expects it.

Bye bye.
~ScouserLysa~

You almost make me doubt I feel at all.

I find myself crying every other day, to the point it makes me think I'm suicidal. I am THAT close of having a breakdown that will eventually lead me to do something equally harmful to not only myself, but the people I care about.

I wish the blood test would reveal that I'm sick so that I can pin the blame on the ones who are causing the daily tear fest for making me this sick. I still haven't gone to get the results yet.

I came home from class where I found out I got 9 out of 10 for a quiz I didn't study for AND got a beautiful blue balloon from Biotherm, only to get hurt again, so I locked myself in my own room and listened to Will Young and cried until there were no more tears to cry. I had the three favourite girls to comfort me but still the tears wouldn't go away. It was that bad.

I only listen to Will Young when I am just sad and beyond depressed.

Read the bolded ones. They make better sense.

Leave Right Now

I'm here just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say...

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows
Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say..

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

Who Am I
Sometimes you know you push me so hard
I don't know how I feel
You almost make me doubt I feel at all

It's not as though I always listen
But there's just so much I don't hear
Maybe I'll never be what you want
I know that all you're asking for
Is a little place in my heart
But I don't find it easy to give

Maybe I get a little selfish sometimes
Why shouldn't I?
I used to say I love you
But would it make a difference this time?

And who am I to tell you that I would never let you down
That no one else could love you half as much as I do now
And who am I to tell you I'll always catch you when you fall
Well I, I wouldn't be myself at all
I wouldn't be myself at all, at all.

I always find a reason why I didn't put you first
It's not that complicated I know
I really hate it when you shake your head like this ain't gonna work
Maybe you'll never reap what you sow

I didn't want to do what everybody does
And hide the truth to find we never knew a thing about love
Cos this is real life, real love
And knowing what it comes down to
It just might be enough

There. I've said it. It's off my chest. I will be okay.

Besides, seeing Adrian Pasdar on the TV gave me something to drool and have a nosebleed over.

Oh and this! OMG...the things they do that make me love them over and over and over again! 25 HOT PICTURES! No naked bums-lah, nutcase!

And look at pic number 15. I cried. I got no tears also still can cry okay!

I love pics in black and white. I told my Legal Studies lecturer that I prefer black and white films compared to the ones in colour, and she said I am an interesting and unique person. Haha.


I'm okay. I have JT and the whole Chelsea squad to stare at now. So I will be okay!