I'm just human, pure emotion.

Finally, the floodgates have opened.

I finally cried at a funeral house. I am human after all. So much for being an emotionless robot all these years.

I don't cry at funerals or weddings. Everyone knows that.


Today was different. It was the first time I ever cried at a funeral house...it was weird to cry.

It was somewhat cathartic.



Maybe it was because the death came as a shock to everyone. Everyone I know who have departed died of a medical condition. This was the first time someone I know died in an accident, and he wasn't even driving. In fact, he never drove in his life.

Maybe what made it worse is that he was the father's best friend. Someone who was always there any time we needed help and who'd always let me stay at his place when the father had to go somewhere with him.

I woke up half an hour earlier than expected and the mother came inside my room to get to the balcony (my room is the room with a view) to hang the clothes. All she said was "You know, Uncle D passed away". All I wanted to say was "What the fuck?!" but no. I couldn't find the right words to say at that point. That's a bad way to start the morning.

It took us about almost an hour to comprehend what had happened and what was going to happen. He died on the spot at 5AM. I was still awake at 5. It is upsetting. And we got the news at 8. The father just sat there, for once he didn't know what to do. He was paralysed and numb.

His wife was distraught and in denial of what happened. No one expected it to happen.

I cried. For the first time in my life, I actually cried. I am very much human.

Throughout the 5 hours we waited there, a man was speaking loudly like he was the INVINCIBLE MAN. Like for fuck's sake, a man just died! Just shut the fuck up, will you? I don't give a damn if a shaman saved your life or whatever it is he did, just show some respect, okay? Someone just died and the last thing I need is to hear you talk rubbish and speculate the cause of his death and all.

Really, you go to the deceased's house to pay respects and people sit there and talk among themselves to discuss what really happened and why. I hate that. Pay your respects and say nice things about him, don't say things like "He was drunk" or things that are along those lines.

I am only hoping that the wife and his two kids stay strong for each other's sake. I can only say my deepest condolences and that I am always here.


Yes, world. I am upset. I finally realised I am human. I have finally cried.