Straddle the line, in discord and rhyme

Warning: This post contains profanities and excessive rants about stupid people. If you are under 17 and feel queasy about profanities, you know what button to click.

If there is one thing I cannot stand currently, it would be wolf-whistling.

Or cat calls. Or anything that is equivalent.

Why does it annoy the hell out of me?
Because I find it absolutely offensive and rude.

See, if you want to call someone (especially me), DO NOT FUCKING WHISTLE.

My mother gave me a name so use it please. Even if you pronounce my name wrongly, I will not hate you.

Say you don't know my name, call me 'Miss'. Not 'kakak' okay? I will kick you.

BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO NOT WHISTLE/TAP THE TABLE/SNAP YOUR FINGERS WHEN YOU ARE CALLING ME!

I cannot stand it. Even when my mother taps her fingers on the table to call me, I start ranting like a mad woman.

The rudest thing I've ever seen is when someone starts snapping their fingers when they want to get their attention. Oi, don't you think those people deserve some amount of respect? You treat them like dirt and they might be less than hospitable with you. Trust me, the horrors of knowing people who work in the food industry and the things they do when they have customers from hell is one good reason to be nice to them.


And you know how when a guy sees a girl and he starts whistling at her?

DO NOT EVER FUCKING DO THAT TO ME.

I will give you the finger. No joke.

I was walking back to college after buying a drink when this van passes me by and the driver looks out of the window and looked at me with a smug grin across his face.

And then he stops.

I had a half a mind to turn around and use the other route back to college.

But I walked on. I have a right to take that route and that sad story of a man can't stop me.

Guess what the fucker did?

He whistled at me.

I ignored him and he kept on doing it.

Middle fingers, as if on cue, comes alive and stays upright.

Excuse me, I find it so degrading when a man does that.

What am I, a piece of meat? An object of your lust? Not a person with some degree of dignity?

Didn't your mother teach you manners? You're such a disappointment and disgrace to your family, you know?

I am no juicy piece of meat (woman, if you value your life, it's best if you kept your lips sealed). So when you ogle and whistle at me, it makes me feel embarrassed and stripped of any kind of dignity I have in me.

So don't ever whistle at me unless you want the finger.

*****

My mother is too funny.

"Wake up!"
"I'm up already"
"Germany beat Turkey 3-2"
"I know...Sylvien texted me"
"Oh she did?"
"Yeah, and she always feels like she's talking to a wall when she's watching the match and I'm fast asleep. I feel like a bad friend"
"Haha"
"You know Turkey played really well, they should be proud"
"You know what Sylvien said about the match?"
"No. What?"
"She said there was a blackout in the stadium"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"It's such a shame that they weren't wearing glow-in-the-dark jerseys like the Chelsea ones. They could pass to one another and trick the opponents"
*dies laughing on the bed*
"Why are you laughing? I'm being serious, okay?"

And you wonder why I am quite random.

*****

I think I am going to have a fever.

No, no. Not Cookie fever-lah. I may be madly in love with the man, but I don't think the Cookie fever has continued past May 21st.

I have a flu right now. I've been sneezing non-stop the whole day.

Magic rainbows don't help cure the flu, do they?