I was forced to do this.

Note: I was forced into doing this, because I was not allowed to do something else. Stupid woman.


Dear Steven Gerrard,



As much as I think you're not as hot as my Lampsy or JT.
As much as I think you and Xabi belong to each other and should get married.
As much as I think you should persuade Michael Owen to come back to Liverpool for my MO-lover of a best friend.
As much as I think you sound horrible when you're singing when you are drunk in a pub.
As much as I think you are as paranoid as my beloved Captain Marvel when it comes to socks and shoes.

I am still very much human and I respect you for your heroics for Liverpool and England. Therefore I would like to wish you a very HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY.


May you and Xabi be blessed eternally and stay together forever.


Nah, happy? After all those messages online and through SMS, I have finally done your "STEVEN GERRARD'S BIRTHDAY POST". Now you can leave me alone and go bother someone else (like your boyfriend, for one).

*****

Am terribly upset and feeling screwed up. The past three days have been shitty. Broken shoe. Food poisoning (blasted chickens!). No Business Law anymore and food poisoning (blasted mashed potatoes!).

I want a cookie for my misery.