You know you're nuts when...

you call some human being at 3AM.

Just to know if you've gone paranoid or not.

"You better have a good reason for calling me at this ungodly time of the day"
"Am I paranoid?"
"For calling me at 3AM? Yes!"
"No, in general"
"A little, maybe"
"Do you think I push the blame to everyone else but myself?"
"Not always. You tend to view the bigger and smaller picture when you do it"
"Am I mad?"
"Sometimes"
"Am I too much of an over-achiever?"
"Not really. But you always want to do your best and not screw up, and that's good"
"You think?"
"I mean, it's not like you have this high sense of kiasuness in you"
"I don't know"
"Go back to sleep...for the time being, stop being paranoid"
"Wait, if the idiot keeps pestering me, what do I tell him?"
"Tell him you've got a man you love who loves you"
"And if he asks for details or things like that?"
"Say me. Easy"
"Oh really? Girlfriend won't have green eyes, I presume?"
"She wouldn't mind...I think"
"You're drunk"
"I'm just sleepy"
"Okay, fine. Go back to sleep. Thank you"
"Anything for my paranoid little being"
"See you at 10?"
"That would be nice"

Sorry I wrecked your beauty sleep. You know I love you.

*****

Someone thinks my captain and vice captain are gay.

"Every bloody sentence has 'Myself and Lampsy' in it! Soon they will say 'Myself and Lampsy are going to get married' !"

Eh, just because your captain is gay, don't make mine gay too!

*****

Tonight, do NOT call me. Or ask me to do menial things like wash plates or clothes or call you.

I will slap you.

I will NOT tell you what's my score prediction.
2-1 maybe.

See you people at 10 then!