I don't request your sympathy.

If life were a bed of roses, I'd expect to see you there with me. That's not the case now, is it? I'm going to watch him play later tonight! Woo-hoo!!!

Yesterday, the father snickered at something I said to the mother. I was confused. She was complaining about how this pregnant lady was wearing tight-fitting clothes instead of looser ones, and all I told her was "There's nothing wrong with that, now why are you worried?".

"You being the greatest commentor of all things are telling her to mind her own business"

The only reason why I said that to my mother was:
1. I actually don't mind pregnant ladies wearing tight clothes.
2. My mother tells that to me ALL THE TIME when I complain about people.

Usually when the father thinks he's given me a smart comment back in my face, I give him a nicer and smarter one. Not being rude, okay. Maybe a little sarcastic, though.

The other day he was talking to the brother about Malaysiakini or something (and the brother claims he's never been to the site before). And I said I've been there before. "Oh, that's what you do on the PC" came the reply. Everyone I know knows that I dislike politics and choose to be ignorant of it. "No, it so happened I was googling for constitutional monarchy and that came out, so you could say in a way, it helped with my studies". Don't ever try to be sarkie with me, I will only make your temper rise.

I sat in the car thinking about why he said that to me.


Oh yeah, the issue with the old blog.

Yesterday, I was so upset, I didn't feel like talking to anyone, I let my mother use the PC and left the MSN Messenger on Busy, and went to my room. Few moments later, I came out with tears streaming down my cheeks. I was sad.

I actually wanted to continue with the old blog. I so very badly wanted to. But, how would you like it if everything single thing you wrote was being scrutinised by certain people who have absolutely nothing better to do but google my name, who end up printing it and showing it to everyone but you (including my own father) because they bloody assume I am writing about them?

I counted. 5/840 does NOT amount to this much of nonsense. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. If I were to write all of the 840 posts about you (yeah, I have better things to do in life than to do that, okay?) then you can cause a commotion. 5 out 840 posts is only 0.5952381% of what I've written. People can honestly make a mountain out of a molehill, can't they?

Have I no right to speak my mind? The purpose of this blog is NOT about me writing how much I like you and whatever it is you think I should write, it's about every single thing I love, hate or feel. What the hell do you know of feelings?

If there's one thing I hate, I really despise people who are ungrateful and unapologetic. Honestly, what do they teach you people in Moral Studies? How to flame people in public?

Your sister stole my things and claimed her teachers and friends gave them to her. Please, you think any teacher would give their students a Swarovski crystal necklace as a gift? Don't try and kid yourself. And she could swear in the name of God that they gave them to her! The nerve! When that incident happened, I just wanted to slap and kick her, but all I did was sit in a stupor and look as though someone robbed me of my life. I cried myself to sleep the night I discovered my jewelleries went missing. You think I wouldn't notice. Just because I don't wear them that often, it doesn't mean you can steal them. I am very meticulous over my things, I can tell you who gave this earrings and why they gave it to me. I was 16, so most of my jewelleries were given as a gift from the parents for getting good results or as birthday presents. It holds a significant meaning to me. You bloody think I wouldn't care if they went missing? Screw you.

She apologised, but I knew she never meant it. A year later, she lost one of my favourite shirts that I bought for my birthday. I gave her two shirts for her drama competition because I was being nice. When she hadn't return my shirt after a month, I began to grow suspicious. And yes, the worst fear came true. She lost my shirt and apologised and promised to get me a new one. I had to be thinking with my feet when I said yes to their suggestion of getting a new shirt. I realised the real value of the shirt couldn't be replaced by getting a new one. And you could tell me "It is just a shirt". Can I just say "Damn you" ? You have insulted me time and time again with that "I-hold-no-sentimental-values-for-inanimate-objects" attitude of yours. I have values, you don't.

You, on the other hand, were never grateful. Your assignment on the futsal thing, you gave a whole lot for the brother to do and asked me to do 5 of it. Well, guess what? I did the whole thing because the brother was too lazy to lug them around. Being the person who never says no whenever someone asks for help, I helped you. I took the papers to college and asked my friends to do it for me. I helped fill up some too. And what do you do? You only thank my brother, instead of thanking me. I know, I'm just an insignificant little dot to everyone. I'm getting used to it.

You were always unapologetic. You mocked the mother. She never called you 'useless' or 'stupid'. The mother is better than that. In front of her, you apologised. But behind her back, you went on this personal attack by sending this letter to the lecturer cousin. You said she called you 'useless' and 'stupid' and added further by saying 'she fired the cannon by not letting you speak'. I read the thing, so did the mother. Honestly I cried because the mother foolishly accepted your apology. She was hurt. Is that how much she is worth to you? After all she's helped you with in your college stuff, is this how you bloody repay her? You know, for a 27-year-old, your mentality no worse that of a five-year-old. Now you know why 5th November was the lowest point of my life last year.

The other day, I helped Sarah/Xin Rou with her blog template layout despite the fact I was doing my assignment. I never say no to anyone when they ask help from me, especially if it's for a good cause. And when I went to her blog when she was finally done with it, I wanted to cry. In the welcome page itself, I can see my name in caps. She was thanking me for helping her out. I felt undeserving of it because I didn't help much, but she thanked me.

It's things like this I like in a person. You know how to say thank you and mean it. You know how to say sorry and mean it. Unlike you people.

I hate it when people patronise me, treating me like I haven't got a clue on what's going on. I do, it's just that I don't show it. You people treat me like I have no brains when you're the brainless ones.

To you, everyone must bow down to you because you're the universal truth. But you know what, you're not. You're an immature git who lacks self-esteem and covers it up by showing your aggressive nature.

I complain about people, yes. I can't help it. It's just when you see something, you just have to say something about it. Everytime I see Fernando Alonso's TagHeuer ad, I start commenting on it because it annoys me. People get annoyed everytime I do it, so I pinch myself so that I don't say anything bad about it, but it's not really working.


Meh, look at the idiot. Can't even smile properly. Such a stupid thing. Must take cam-whoring lessons from Mr. I-can't-spell-anorexic. Right?

I do know we are not perfect. I know I am not. I don't down-trod people because they are stupid and poor. Firstly, it is against all that I have learnt to down-trod poor people. I cry everytime I see someone suffering from poverty or famine. I may make fun of stupid people, but I don't down-trod them unless they should be.

You condemn the fact I swear. Wow. Pot-kettle-black, much? Before this, when your brother was upset over the fact that your father used the four-letter word on him, you told your brother "Everyone swears, so get over it". Right, am I missing out on something here? I swear but I know when and where to swear. I don't go around saying "fuck", "bastard" or "bitch" everywhere. I say it when I have to. Why is it that I can't swear? Is it because I'm a girl? Damn you, I'm 80% boyish and 20% girlish, okay.

So, you want to cut all ties with me? Fine by me. I have done so a long time ago, way before you did. I never told anyone, but it's the truth. When I make it, don't come to me for help because I refuse to help ungrateful and unapologetic people. They are not worth the tears, the effort and the time. I probably wouldn't ask you for help either because you aren't exactly a helpful person.

If angels fall, I don't know if I'll be any subtle. I might not.


The father says that to cure any ailment, drink lots of water.
The mother says to use minyak gamat.
A friend of the father who is a doctor says to take Panadol.


So, how do you actually cure stupidity and immature behaviour?


There is no cure. The only way to escape it is to die.


Like a very good friend of mine quoted: "Stupid people are everywhere. You just don't know when and where you'll meet them".

How true.


So for now, the cure is this.

To whoever who put this in there, thank you. I love you.